YSaC, Vol. CXIII
VERY UNIQUE Edgy Original Painting – $999
“Friction” 36×48″ High quality acrylics on deep-edge canvas, suitable for framing but not necessary.
This large-scale, modern work belongs in your home.
Email me for a larger image of the piece.
I’m the artist and I’ll deliver within 75 miles of [location].
Okay, I’m not objecting to the quality of the painting itself. I actually kind of like it. The ladies’ fingers are kind of freaking me out — their hands look like E.T. met a skeleton — but that’s okay. At least the hands match the anorexic bodies. But that’s okay too.
I don’t get the title: Friction. Okay, the woman on the right is holding her purse and she’s upset about something. Maybe she’s upset that her spaghetti strap keeps falling down. Maybe she’s upset that she just dropped her appletini in her lap and now she has to pay for another one. Maybe she’s upset that the parrot that’s just off-picture has more lovely plumage than she does. Maybe she’s upset that her companion has fallen asleep at the bar. But that’s okay too; in fact, it may even enhance the work, since everyone can create their own backstory to the image. That’s actually kind of cool.
I’m actually objecting to the assertion that this work belongs in my home. You, artist, have no idea what belongs in my home. It wouldn’t go with the French Prudential furniture I’ve been so carefully collecting. Or with my lovely vintage loveseat. And it would really clash with my beautiful and expensive lion and giraffe wall hangings.
No, dear artist, unless my house is decorated in late-century depressed-and-angry-barfly, I would disagree that this “belongs” in my home.
You should try this person — they were changing decorating themes. Maybe they’re going for inexplicable bar-based art. They seem like they’re willing to pay too much for things, too, so they won’t even notice your clever pricing that’s hiding the fact that $999 is almost $1000.