You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. CXIV

Written by

drmk

in

Half eaten bowl of fruity pebbles.

I just poured a bowl of fruity pebbles and I got half-way through and I was full, I hat to throw them out with todays high milk and food costs so the first person here gets them.
They’re still crispy and the milk is still cold so get ’em fast

No thanks, I’ve just lost my appetite. It looks like a clown car threw up in the bowl. And that looks like a pretty big bowl of cereal for a “half eaten” bowl. I think I’d need a snorkel and flippers just to get to the other side of the bowl.

Comments

32 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CXIV”

  1. John R Avatar
    John R

    Hahaha! I just discovered your site and it’s wonderful!

  2. D Avatar
    D

    Oh my God.

    I only wish people in my area were this creative on Craigslist. Kudos to this guy for posting something so funny and having it immortalized at YSaC.

  3. El Kev Avatar
    El Kev

    That is the single coolest thing I’ve ever seen.

  4. Kagenin Avatar
    Kagenin

    Waste not, want not… right?

    I could go for half a bowl of cereal right now actually. I finished off our milk yesterday, though, and even if we had milk, I’m all out of cereal.

    Not that I like fruity pebbles anymore – WAYYYY too much sugar, but still…

  5. Astrognash Avatar
    Astrognash

    I knew old horses get shipped off to the glue factory when their time has come, but I never knew old unicorns get their guts ripped out and poured into a bowl with milk.

    1. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      I thought unicorn guts would be more … glittery. Must be the milk.

      1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
        Dave and Ferret Tribe

        I thought they’d be invisible and pink.

        1. SilvaNoir Avatar
          SilvaNoir

          invisible AND pink?

        2. Jen Avatar
          Jen

          The Invisible Pink Unicorn is seen by some as the female predecessor of His Supreme Noodlyness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

          But she’s purtier.

  6. CoffDrop Avatar
    CoffDrop

    Cereal By Shel Silverstein

    Rice Krispies stay crisp, though they now and then lisp
    As they whisper their “thnap crackle pop” in your bowl,
    And though you pour a tall can
    Of milk on your ALL Bran,
    It never will turn into glop (so I’m told).

    I know Shredded Wheat will stay crumbly and neat
    Though you soak it a year in the depths of the ocean,
    And from breakfast and lunch
    Your Post Toasties will crunch
    To show you their love and undying devotion.

    Oaties stay oaty, and Wheat Chex stay floaty,
    And nothing can take the puff out of Puffed Rice.
    But I wish they’d invent a cereal for someone
    Who like it

    All floppy
    And drippy
    And droppy
    And lumpy
    And sloppy
    And soggy
    And gloopy
    And gooey
    And mushy
    And NICE!

    1. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      They do, it’s called oatmeal.

      1. CoffDrop Avatar
        CoffDrop

        The Dishwasher’s Lament

        I worked hard.

        My jets are exhausted
        scrubbing your bowl clean.
        But, really, oatmeal again?
        Must you consume it every
        cold and snowy day?
        I expected more of you–
        have you become the clichéd
        porridge-eating poet? Do me a
        favor, prove me wrong.

        The next time the sun
        splashes its rose across
        fresh swirled snow, grab
        your well-scrubbed bowl,
        fill it with figurative
        oats. Splash it with
        metaphorical milk. And
        please, I beg of you, use
        a throw-away spoon.

        Diane Mayr

  7. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    Sorry, I only share food with people that share my DNA. I don’t have asshat DNA, I’m just a good actress.

  8. Smedley Avatar
    Smedley

    “I hat”

    Spark-o-rama is using his asshat as a bowl for his technicolor Toasties.

    I couldn’t find a good cereal to go with “diabetes for breakfast”.

  9. CoffDrop Avatar
    CoffDrop

    To-oft Sunday morning breakfasts of my youth: Cold, cardboardy pizza and warm, flat beer poured to a glass from half finished cans, checking for drown coach roaches and cigarette butts……..

    1. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      Ew. (On the drowned roaches, not the cold pizza.)

      1. CoffDrop Avatar
        CoffDrop

        Yes indeedy – True story: I was puttering around in garage and picked up my beer (Just opened a few minutes before) and took a big swig. It was warm! It was gross! It was a half-full can of beer that I had been drinking the day before, and it had a big drowned cockroach floating in it! A pint of José Cuervo killed the taste and, I guess, the germs. After that, all beer cans go into the trash at days end……

        1. funky monkey Avatar
          funky monkey

          You used Jose Cuervo to get the old beer taste out of your mouth? YOU ARE SO OMG MY HERO!!

      2. Eclectic Blue Avatar
        Eclectic Blue

        Yeah, way to make the pregnant woman gag in church! I mean… I’m not on YSaC in church… That would be irreverent… (Actually, I’m trying to distract myself from the churning, nasty feeling in my stomach. So that’s my excuse.)

        1. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan

          This is my church…There’s Nuns and Jeebuses and everything.

    2. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Substitute root beer and not a half finished can, and that would be my twenties. 8)

    3. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
      Dave and Ferret Tribe

      Squirrels love last night’s pizza. Also, if you had an outdoor party, you need to check the beer for slugs.

      Um, or so I’ve read.

    4. Jen Avatar
      Jen

      drown coach roaches

      Are coach roaches ones who can’t afford to fly business class? Or ones with a predilection for gauche, overly-branded hangbags and purses?

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Yes.

  10. Addicted Reader Avatar
    Addicted Reader

    Putting aside all the other problems here, does Sparky really think that the cereal will still be “crispy” by the time someone answers the ad and arrives to eat the cereal? Craigslist =/= telepathy.

  11. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Does the cereal come with the bowl, or do I need to bring my own? It will take me a few hours to get from California to Ish. What if someone else arrives before I get there? If I stay here, I have chocolate cake for breakfast. Decisions, decisions.

  12. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    Hey Sparky come over here…

    *BamBamBam*

  13. nonsensicalcat Avatar
    nonsensicalcat

    This will go perfectly in my collection of other people’s partially eaten breakfasts. It’ll bring a nice splash of color on the shelf between “congealed oatmeal” and “crumbling croissant.”

  14. David:) Avatar
    David:)

    Because nothing is better then your own half-eaten bowl of cereal, except some stranger’s half eaten bowl of cereal… Of course.

  15. Lou Stool Avatar
    Lou Stool

    How I wish Sparky would just finish his bowl. If he pukes, he pukes. What would possibly look as cool coming back up as Fruity Pebbles? Yabba dabba ewww.

  16. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    Hey folks! Just popping in to pick up that half eaten coffee slice I saw on Craigslist. Back on Monday.

  17. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Dang, forgot to simonize our watches, jg. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Another fine morning in Battle Creek!

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