You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: wtf?

  • YSaC, Vol. 244: Also available in … ew.

    Free couch Cream

    Must pick up TODAY.

    Jennie sends this one, saying, “I can understand their urgency. Couch Cream expires so fast after you open it.”

    Hmmm, I wonder why that made me think of this one, sent in by Allison?

    Sofa cum bed – $225

    We bought a comfortable futon from Ikea about six months back. It is a beige color sofa cum bed and is in very good condition, just like new.

    Product Descriptions are given below –
    Key features
    Easy to keep clean with a removable,machine washable cover.
    Choose from three different mattresses and a variety of covers to create a combination that suits you – covers are still available in Ikea.
    Easily converts into a bed big enough for two.
    Extra covers are available for variation and renewal.
    Pliable mattress in high-resilient polyurethane foam and latex molds itself to the shape of your body; has extra long lifespan and is suitable for use every night.
    Mattress filled with high resilient polyurethane foam with a top layer of latex; follows the contours of your body and helps keep your backbone straight.
    Latex facilitates air circulation in the mattress and helps moisture to evaporate.

    We are selling it for $225.00. The same is available in Ikea for $350.00 + taxes = $375.00.

    If you are ineterested, please contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx. We can always reconsider the price.

    Can you reconsider the use of the word ‘cum‘? Yes, it means “along with” or “in addition to”, but really? Really? Did you not stop to think that if you’re advertising something that could be used as a couch or a bed, that using the word cum might not be the best choice?

    Because now I’m imagining … well, never mind what I’m imagining. But it’s sticky.

  • YSaC, Vol. 241: Nobody wants Ponce de Leon.

    WANT TO BUY DEAD EXPLORERS

    WANT TO BUY DEAD EXPLORERS CALL DEBBIE OR GARY AT xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Alyssa sends this in, saying, “This is missing some valuable information, such as the answers to: Is Magellan worth more or less than Columbus? Will you pay more for a completed set (like Lewis and Clark, as opposed to just boring old Clark)?”

    I wonder if they’ll consider a trade. I’ve got Vasco de Gama lying around, and I’d really like a mint condition Sir Francis Drake.

  • YSaC, Vol. 238: The extra w is for extra WTF …

    Amazing Web Designs – $299

    You can create your website with our Incredible Website Builder or simply have our design team do the work for you. The only website solutions company that lets you change the complete design of your site at the click of a mouse to keep your entire content intact or request our designers to do the work for you! (your site’s visitors can enjoy a fresh new look every time they visit your site!)
    Nine Great Reasons Why Your Website Should Be Designed By [Company Name].com

    1. The only website solutions company with a stunning photo album that comes with absolutely cool zoom, pan and auto sizing features!
    2. The only website builder that lets you add your own videos (promotional, informational, sales etc.) to provide instant interactivity and adds unmatched impact to your site!
    3. The only website solutions company that lets you add your favorite MP3s and lets your site visitors enjoy them with a built in trendy mp3 player!
    4. The only website solutions company that lets you add catchy greeting cards with personalized messages to create that special bond with your site visitors!
    5. The only website solutions company that lets you change the complete design of your site at the click of a mouse to keep your entire content intact or request our designers to do the work for you! (your site’s visitors can enjoy a fresh new look every time they visit your site!)
    6. The only website solutions company that lets you add a stunning online store with up to 240 products and comes fully integrated with Paypal!
    7. The only Service that lets you receive Important Contact Enquiries from your website Instantly to your Mobile anywhere in the World !
    8. The only website solutions company that lets you Record Live Video directly from your WebCam and publish it to your website Instantly.
    9. The only website solutions company that offers Integrated Search Engine Submission Service to Top Search Engines in the World like Google, AOL, MSN Live etc! (This extra service is only $89.)

    Visit our very informative website at http://wwww.[Company Name].com

    Or Call Toll-Free xxxx-xxxx-xxxx

    And, as John (the submitter) points out, the only website company who can’t spell “www”! (In addition to having four w’s in the text, the actual link directed to “wwww.[CompanyName].com” as well, meaning that you got an error message if you clicked on the link to visit their page.)

    On top of that, the rest of the things they offer are (a) things that any decent website builder can do or (b) things that nobody should want any decent website builder to do.

    “Lets you change the complete design of your site at the click of a mouse”? Um, yeah, that’s called a style sheet or theme.

    “Your site’s visitors can enjoy a fresh new look every time they visit your site”? Let me, a non-web design professional, count the ways in which that’s a good idea. Okay, I’m done — I counted zero ways in which that’s a good idea. And just to be sure, I counted twice.

    And apparently they’ve cornered the market on adding annoying mp3s and videos to their websites. Somebody let MySpace know that they’ve got competition.

  • YSaC, Vol. 232: Is that like strip checkers?

    Chess of Drawers – $35

    Chess of Drawers – gold tone
    xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Kati submits this one with a one-word commentary: pAwned.

  • YSaC, Vol. 228: Profound, or just stupid?

    Black Volvo XC 70 – $4300

    Engine is in Excellent Shape, does not smoke, does not leak, nice and quiet. email for more pics and details. Leather seats.

    Against this choice walks each incorrect gang. A gutter lurks across every undone fiddle. The benefit resists the faced shorthand over an adviser. Should a terminology peer near a spiral skin?

    OOOooooh, goody, it’s Mad Libs time! Here’s the format:

    Has a/Is a/Did a/Will a (noun)  (verb) across/near/over/with/by/for each/every/a/an/the (adjective) (noun)?

    Play at home. Report back. Here’s one of my results:

    Is a penchant enrolling over every ashen trickle?

    It’s also nice to see that the Volvo engine has kicked that nasty nicotine habit. I would get really tired of shoving the cigarettes into the radiator.

  • YSaC, Vol. 227: Does it come in green?

    Need to sell ASAP

    I will take 200.00
    Price Reduced

    Tan color
    Very sturdy
    3 years old

    Call today xxx xxx xxxx

    Emily sends this one along, saying, “A tan what? This was not accompanied by a photograph or explanation. We figured it was a stocky toddler.”