You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: serendipity

  • YSaC, Vol. 419: Sometimes sucking at Craiglist is a punishable offense.

    A recent news story involves a rather creative, but suck-tacular, use of Craigslist:

    Man arrested for selling stolen furnace after posting phone number online

    John Allen Chudley, 38, of Knoxville, is charged with charged with aggravated burglary, theft and possession of drug paraphernalia.

    Police said Chudley broke into a vacant North Knoxville house at 1416 Kenyon Street and took pictures of the furnace.

    Then he listed it for sale on Craigslist and posted a picture and his cell phone number.

    The homeowner found out, called Chudley saying he’d like to buy the furnace, then called 911.

    Chudley met officers, thinking one was the buyer, and sold them the furnace. He even helped load it into their truck.

    Police said Chudley also had outstanding warrants for aggravated burglary and theft. Plus, he agreed to talk to them about other thefts and burglaries.

    Chudley was taken to the Knox County Jail.

    Even better, Dan sent me this shining example of Craiglist incompetence and intrigue, which actually happened to him!

    Hi,

    I recently had my car stolen with all of my home inspection tools inside. I started checking CL to see if any of the tools showed and, sure enough, my $8000 thermal imaging camera was for sale 3 days after the theft for $200.

    More after the jump … (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 400: Birds of paradise?

    looking for a A-bird or two

    I am looking for an Attack Bird or a pair of Attack Birds to watch my home while I am at work. I have bad allergies and cannot have an attack dog or cat so I thought a bird would be my next best choice.
    Maybe an attack snake but I dont think you can train those like a bird? If you can please let me know.

    thanks Thomas

    I’ll get to the bird thing in a minute; I’m kind of stuck on the concept of an attack cat. I mean, I’ve known some mean cats in my time, but short of having a panther in your living room, I’m not entirely sure that a cat will fulfill the function this fellow is looking for. I have two cats — yes, I’m halfway to crazy cat lady — and if someone they didn’t know came into the house, their reaction would be to think, “Are YOU going to feed me?” while they fell on the floor and exposed their soft floofy underbellies to the intruder.

    Okay, the bird thing. An attack bird. That you can train. Hmmm. Well, let’s see what we’ve got out there, shall we?

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 321: Meta-hilarity ensues.

    Hi. Welcome to You Suck at Craigslist, a site where I make fun of poorly constructed Craigslist ads.

    What? What’s that you say? You’re wondering why I’m stating that, when it’s perfectly obvious what the site is?

    As it turns out, perfectly obvious might not be obvious enough to some people, as evidenced by an email I got (exchange is behind a cut, as it’s relatively long):

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. CII

    All of you suck so badlyyy losers (shush)

    i hate this site its bullshit none of it is real

    Whew! I was worried there for a second … I thought people might actually be posting stupid things on this website for real!

    I’m so relieved to know that this is all just an elaborate ruse; that makes me feel better about humanity in general.

    But if the website isn’t real, and these listings aren’t real, maybe it means I shouldn’t be making fun of them? Or does it mean that I’m also not real? Ow, my head hurts.

    This was posted in “household services”. But clearly if it’s not real, it doesn’t matter what section it was posted in.

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXIX

    mcdonalds monopoly!! need # 273 Park Place!!! SPLIT w/ me!! – $1

    i got #274 its called BOARDWALK with a dark blue strip on top. i’ll split with someone that has park place #273. get to me asap!! we can meet up right bow if you want!! its 1:21am. if not meet me at my work that i plan on quitting once we meet hahaaaaa!! thanks!!

    Hmmm, if only I knew where to find the Park Place piece …

    I HAVE PARK PLACE MONOPOLY PEICE I NEED BOARDWALK LETS SPLIT MILLION – $500000

    Hello I have got the park place piece for Mcdonalds monopoly and I need the boardwalk piece. If you have the piece I will pay 500000 thousand in cash if you really have it. Please I dont have time for scams as I am a busy man but if you have boardwalk for mcdonalds monopoly email me asap and you just got yourself 500000k in cash. I hope you have it and best of luck. Contact me if you do.

    These two people are in the same city. If you do a search for “Monopoly”, they both come up in the listings. I could be nice, but I won’t. (Besides, if you do a search for “Monopoly” in this particular city, there’s about ten other people who each claim to have Park Place or Boardwalk. I’ll let them all sort it out amongst themselves.)

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXVII

    Trade large Mongoose Alta for Sour Candy – $20

    Large chromoly frame. Fits 5’9″ comfortably with the seat all the way down. Has quick fire trigger shifters and shimano components. Well used. Could use a nice thorough lubing or tune up. Seat is a little rough, paint is decent, tires are good but are a deep, fat, rubbery offroad tread so it squeaks like new shoes on the sidwalk, but everything works and it can be ridden away immediately.

    Prefer soft sour candy (no generic sour candy, please). Prefer Sour Patch Kids, Trolli Sour Gummi Brite Crawlers, Sour Gummi Life Savers. No hard candy.

    Will also trade for good soda (pure Cane Jones, good ginger ale) or Skyy.

    Trade a bicycle for sour candy? Exactly how much candy does this guy want? And how much sour candy can one person eat? I think we’ve got a sugar addiction on our hands here … do we really want to enable him?

    In good news, if you do decide to trade this guy 40 pounds of gummi bears for a bike, I know where you can get some lube for free.