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  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXXIII

    Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so I thought I’d provide a little public service and point you towards a lovely Valentine’s Day gift opportunity. No need to say thanks … I’m a giver like that.

    “My Cup Run It Over” I Love You – $3

    Need a quick Valentine’s gift? I am making goodies for Valentine’s Day. Take a peek and let me know if you’re interested in ordering anything. Great gifts for kids, teachers or that special someone.

    Valentine cup filled with Hershey Kisses and special note. “Colors Pink & Red”

    Please call Dale at xxx/xxx-xxxx.

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    Yes, the tags actually say, “My Cup Run It Over”. With the quotation marks. It’s just too painful.

    I’m hoping my comments will runneth over with snark. Take it away, folks!

    Submitted by DM — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXXII

    Junk around house

    [address]

    xxx.xxxx.xxxx

    Must have 4 wheeler to get to property.

    I’m aware that there are people who specialize in salvage, but don’t you think this is a little … ambitious? “Here’s years worth of crap that I’ve left lying around outside my house … come take it away for me and I won’t pay you for doing it.”

    The only thing missing in that pile is a vacuum cleaner. It might be fun to go Office Space on the printer though. (Warning: music NSFW.)

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXXI

    Cyborg in exchange for free rent!

    I am a biotechnology grad student in search of housing. A back guest house would be perfect. In exchange, I will build you a cyborg. In case you do not know, a cyborg is a biologically based animatronic being, in other words half human and half robot. Since current science is still catching up on this technology, it may be a few years until your cyborg is built. It might help if you had a pet dog or cat that I could practice with. For any reason if you die before the cyborg is finished, I promise to use your remains in the project, in order to fulfill my debt to you. Since you will be the first person to own/be a cyborg, this should be considered a very generous offer. Must have dishwasher in guest house. Please, serious replies only.

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    Um, don’t look now, but there’s a large spider going after your cigarette. Or maybe it’s trying to mate with your sideburns. It’s hard to tell from this angle.

    And if you’re going to make me into a cyborg, at least make me look something like Seven of Nine. Rawr.

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    Sent in by CB — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXX

    This one is behind a cut because it’s liberal with the four- (and six-, and seven-) letter words. Just a warning for anyone who might potentially be shocked by that and might want to ask if I’m okay or something.

    To all my “Friends” (Doesn’t matter anymore…)

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  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXIX

    Are You Ashamed Of The Lack Of Dressers In Your House

    It is a very frustrating experience staring at those empty spaces in the main rooms of your house, clothes scattered all across the floor, and your closets just as messy; your rooms are just perpetual messes that never seem to get in order, no matter how much time and effort you spend cleaning them. What is the result of this frustrating process? Your overall well-being suffers and you find yourself making little problems into much larger difficulties. These little things that we are exposed to each day are the triggers for negative snowballs in our lives. Studies have proven that not having the necessary little things to complement our lifestyles are what give rise to bigger problems and the big problems are never really the cause. All the while, you are confused as to how you got yourself into such a knot. Coupled with the constant reminder, “Money can’t buy happiness,” mantra, causing you to think that saving your money will help your problems. The truth is that money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the convenience to allow happiness in the door, such as buying the things you do need. Don’t let the little things build to something much worse. Your home is your sanctuary and you need certain things to make it so. You are fooling yourself to think otherwise.

    [Editorial comment: There’s more — much more — below the cut. Please read the lengths this person is willing to go to in order to sell two dressers. (And they’re not even French Prudential dressers!)]

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  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXVIII

    Large Box of Specimen Cups w/o Lids

    Would make great kids cups. Never been used.

    Jenny sends this one along, saying: “.. Specimen cups?  Like the ones used to keep … specimens?  Specimens such as urine?  Why use any old 50 cent plastic cup for your kid when you can give him one that may or may not have been used to store urine samples (or worse) of people who may or may not have medical problems?  It was listed in free, but I don’t think it’s worth the gamble.”

    I’d have to agree. I think giving my children apple juice in something that looks like this:

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    is only destined to cause them problems later in life.