YSaC, Vol. CLXXXI
2009 January 15
Cyborg in exchange for free rent!
I am a biotechnology grad student in search of housing. A back guest house would be perfect. In exchange, I will build you a cyborg. In case you do not know, a cyborg is a biologically based animatronic being, in other words half human and half robot. Since current science is still catching up on this technology, it may be a few years until your cyborg is built. It might help if you had a pet dog or cat that I could practice with. For any reason if you die before the cyborg is finished, I promise to use your remains in the project, in order to fulfill my debt to you. Since you will be the first person to own/be a cyborg, this should be considered a very generous offer. Must have dishwasher in guest house. Please, serious replies only.
Um, don’t look now, but there’s a large spider going after your cigarette. Or maybe it’s trying to mate with your sideburns. It’s hard to tell from this angle.
And if you’re going to make me into a cyborg, at least make me look something like Seven of Nine. Rawr.
Sent in by CB — thanks!
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If he wants serious replies only, maybe he should make serious offers only.
And also not post a picture with his cigarette. I wouldn’t rent my “back guest house” to a smoker. I mean, if I had a back guest house (or a front one or any other kind).
Rubbing his hands together with glee, and laughing with a slightly maniacal glint in his eye, Sergio turned to his faithful spider companion. “The experiment is nearly complete!” he said. “Soon the University of Tennessee (at Memphis) will learn that it was THEY who were mad to dismiss my plans to make the first fully-functional cybernetic killing machine slash research assistant! Just one more, Arachno,” he said, stroking the tarantula, as it seemed to purr under his fingertips, “and then, when the BorgTronic 3000 attacks Professor Armati just as he’s beginning Biotechnology 1001, THEN he will see how it was foolish to keep me from getting that grant! All we need is a head.” Sergio paused in thought. “And probably genitals, too. It might need them. But where on earth are we going to find your next victim, Arachno? And what about my housing situation?”
Arachno, as if in reply, skittered across the desk to Sergio’s MacBook keyboard. He danced over a few keys, directing the browser to a popular website.
Sergio’s eyes lit up again. “Of course, Arachno! Craigslist!”
*snort*
*rubs face in speechless exasperation*
*rubs face in case there’s a spider there*
UT Memphis????
@Random Person,
I think you missed the point. The cyborg he will build for you is a spider that manufactures cigarettes.
Or possibly a spider that bites you and gives you the proper dose of nicotine.
In my college required humanities class I always tell the bio-engineering students that they can get a guaranteed A if they build me a tentacle arm.
Has anyone tried it yet?
mmyeah but this video is sexier lol http://emo-gay.com/emo-twinks-have-a-threesome-at-a-party/
Ok, I don’t think this guy sucks at craigslist at all. The picture is awesome. If he can convince someone to let him live in their guest house, rent free, with THIS as his contract, then he’s pretty skilled at cl. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got several serious replies. I just hope he can find a good reason to convince them that their pets are ineligible from his “practice.”