You Suck at Craigslist

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  • YSaC, Vol. CXLIII

    Puppies for give away.

    I have eight puppies, the mother is boxer mixed and the father is an american pit bull terrier. I have five females and three males that are very cute and sweet. Some are all different colors like their mom and some are redish colored like their father. They are six weeks old today. I would like them to go to responsable people who love animals. You can contact me, Corey or my girl friend, Ursula at xxx-xxx-xxxx. The picture is of the mother and the father when he was a puppy.

    Yep, these puppies should go to someone responsible … like someone who puts a cigarette in their dog’s mouth. You know, someone that responsible.

    Do I have a tag for “asshat” yet? Should I?

    Submitted by Martha — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLII

    White dresser 9 drawer french prudential – $110

    White French prudential dresser with 9 drawers. Really beautiful piece of furniture, goes well with everything. Its in fine condition, very well maintained. Take advantage of this marvelous deal, no where else can you take home such a lovely piece for just $110. This is a great price for this item. Hurry before this sell. [advertising stuff for business cut]

    Now even furniture stores on the West coast are doing it!

    Goes well with everything? You mean, it goes well with the other furniture that people have listed under a furniture style that doesn’t exist?

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLI

    Life changing experience (Your home)

    I have had a very unique life so far and my personal insight and advice will give you clarity. Find out why you arent exactly where you want to be in life….get in touch with why your not happy. learn ways to know yourself better and participate in excercises that will guide you down the path to complete happiness in your life. Get in touch with what you actually want, how to get it, and why it matters! My diversified past is non-judgemental, yet logical in its honesty. I use to be drug addict…ive been to prison…I was a strait a student,,,ive studued human behavior, sociology, and psychology….noone has the answers but you will eventually get what you settle for with my help. 2 weeks I will live with you in your home and analize evey bit of your existence. After the 2 weeks is over, you will be ready with a to-do list of your life and be ready to accomplish everyhting you wanted but never sought out. I charge nothing for this service…but you must supply all traveling and living expenses for the 2 weeks.

    Brenda sent in this posting, saying “I found this in the Creative Services section on my local Craigslist. I can’t think of anything I’d like better than to pay for an ex-drug addict felon to stay at my house and analyze my life.”

    I’ve got to agree. If I wanted someone to live with me in my home and “analize” every bit of my existence, and provide me with a to-do list of my life, I would have let my mother stay longer after her Thanksgiving visit. (Except the non-judgmental part wouldn’t have applied to her. That woman can judge you in her sleep.)

    And what kind of a sales pitch is, “You will eventually get what you settle for with my help”? What is that supposed to mean? “With my help, you will achieve the mediocrity you’ve been sort of wishing you could attain”?

  • YSaC, Vol. CXL

    Brand New Samsung BL103 with Case and 1GB Sandisk – $150

    Red Samsung BL103. 10.2MP Digital Camera w/ 3x Optical Zoom, Face Detection, Advanced Shake Reduction, & 2.7″ LCD Display.
    Brand New with Box, never opened, never used. Comes with Sansung Case and 1GB Memory Card.

    Please email or call xxx-xxx-xxxx if interesting.

    You mean this exact camera bundle, which you can buy — with the “Sansung” case and 1GB memory card — for $79 on Walmart’s website? (Screenshot below.)

    And you’re asking $150 for it? Slimy. Very slimy.

    Submitted by Martha — Thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXXIX

    Pre-Calculus BUY IT NOW!! $ 80 !!!!! SO CHEAP! – $60

    I have bought a Used Pre-Cal book for $120.00 and I am only selling it now for $60…

    It’s a hard cover book, but the cover looks washed out..but other than that, when you opened and look inside..
    it looks great! =)

    the book looks like this ->>

    KEYWORDS: [Name of] COLLEGE MATH BOOK MATH BOOK PRE CALCULUS CALCULUS TRIGNOMETRY BOOKS

    If he’s simultaneously selling the book for $80 and $60, I think we can establish two things: (1) this guy isn’t particularly good at math; and (b) more than calculus, he needs Schroedinger and his cat.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXXVIII

    Video game player – $2

    Play video games on your tv with this joystick. Pacman etc Old School games
    asking $2.00, gently used
    exact cash please

    I’m tempted to buy this and give them exactly $2.00, but in unwrapped pennies.

    This was listed under “baby & kid stuff” … because there’s nothing better for your baby than video games from the 1980s. I mean, let’s be honest … for a child of the ’00s who has been brought up on Grand Theft Auto and other games, Pac-Man isn’t exactly going to be the most exciting game for them. It’s more likely to appeal to an old geezer like me. Sigh.