You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. 294: Flagging on the top right.

    Need Flagging? – $5

    Tired of seeing spam ads? Your competitors got you down? No worries, with our service we will have ads removed within minutes! The process is very simple – just let us know the URL or posting title & section, send us a payment with PayPal, and the ad will be removed within 5-10 minutes (10 ads or more – 30 minutes). We can also do bulk removal at discounted rates.

    1 ad – $5
    5 ads – $20
    25 ads – $50

    Payments are made through PayPal, once payment is received the process is started immediately.

    NuclearMosquito emailed this listing, saying: “Now I know in “this economy” (whatever that means), people are looking for new ways to make a quick buck. Somewhere along the line, someone will think, “Hey, I should charge people for an already free service! Maybe even one they can do themselves! Surely someone will fall for it.” Sadly, they just might. This ad promises to flag other Craigslist ads for you. They even offer a discount for bulk flags! Just Paypal them $5 per flag, along with the URL of the ad you want flagged, and they’re on the job. Now really, you have to wonder if the people that read this ad and think it’s something wonderful don’t notice the flag button, that they can click themselves, FOR FREE, in the corner of that very ad! The mind boggles.”

    Indeed it does. I should, of course, mention that this ad got flagged. I wonder if someone paid them to flag their own ad? I would have, just for the irony of it.

  • YSaC, Vol. 293: Kids would ask for it by name if they knew what the hell it was.

    This one was in the European Craigslist, but is just as inexplicable as the posts in the US:

    Velvet Ovlatine – EUR22 (SG)

    Hand make version of this velvet drink, ready for the ripe drinking. I got the powder, just need to milk to mix with it.

    Anyone in the area that wants to share the mix, please reply. Oh and I think we could use a harpoon to help mix it.
    Remember – english is my 2nd language – beauty marks, and moles come first.

    All trades plus shipping and handling. BYOB.
    293

    I think I speak for many, many people when I say, “… what?”

    Lotte sends this one in, saying, “I’m not even sure if this is a really subtle ad for some casual encounter of some sorts. The Ovaltine is hand-made, and it also says: I got the powder, just need TO milk to mix with it. Milking what, I just shudder to think really. Not to mention the harpoon reference. Plus a reference to beauty marks and moles AND the fact that the ad was placed under ‘barter’. Maybe Ovlatine is a whole other thing than Ovaltine. You know what I mean? *nudge nudge* *wink wink*….Now I feel sick.”

  • YSaC, Vol. 292: It doesn’t stop everyone else!

    $250 i need a room (agri center)

    seeking a room around $250/month near Agricenter. i guess i wouldn’t want to say more than that or, craigslist informs, one will be legally persecuted, lose their job, and be fined 10,000 dollars. yet, maybe i am doomed by saying that i am “seeking” a room, or that it is “$250”, or that it is “near Agricenter”. i can but pray that the FBI doesn’t pick up on this one.

    Here’s craigslist’s policy on discriminatory preference in a housing post — this is what you see when you begin to create a housing wanted or housing available posting:

    Stating a discriminatory preference in a housing post is illegal, is prohibited on craigslist, and can be expensive:

    • you can be fined more than $10,000 for each discriminatory ad, plus damages in court, plus loss of license if you are a professional
    • avoid phrases which could be interpreted as discriminating by race/color/origin (e.g. ‘hispanic area‘), religion (e.g. ‘christian home‘), age / familial status (e.g. ‘no kids‘), disability, or sexual orientation
    • the words you choose can cost you – get the facts and avoid being prosecuted under fair housing law

    This one makes me wonder if “seeking a room” is a euphemism for “I won’t live with minorities or homosexuals” and “near Agricenter” means “I’ll only live in a white neighborhood”. The fact that he has to bring up the policy says to me that he does have some preferences but doesn’t feel as though he can list them for fear of being ‘persecuted’.

    Otherwise, it just seems like this guy is either a smartass or a little too paranoid.

    Thanks, Lesley!

  • YSaC, Vol. 291: No, seriously. What. The. Hell.

    This post contains eight incredibly bizarre pictures of a NSFW coffee table. No, really. You have been warned.
    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 290: It gets a 6.5 from the Romanian judge.

    These two entries are both from the same metropolitan area:

    student wants to learn doggi style

    I want to learn to do doggies with style…..and perhaps photography

    My desperate hope that this was someone asking for instruction on pet grooming were dashed when I realized that this post came from the “Adult Gigs” section.

    As does this:

    private lap dancers wanted

    big breast and boobs a plus no exp. nessacary

    This guy’s demanding — he wants a big breast AND boobs. I’m no slouch in the boobs department, but I don’t also have a big breast, so I guess I’m out. If the boobs don’t have to be big, we could set him up with these boobs. That might teach him to be a little more specific.

    Thanks, oliveees, for ruining my faith in humanity just a little bit more.

  • YSaC, Vol. 289: Next we work on the word “recently”.

    End Table-Round – $25

    Round end table with storage inside. Recently refinished.
    $25.00 O.B.O Please Call xxx-xxx-xxxx Or xxx-xxx-xxxx

    289

    Today’s lesson is on the difference between inside and outside. If you’re going to claim that this thing has storage inside, don’t show it in storage outside.