You Suck at Craigslist

Category: free

  • YSaC, Vol. 450: Hurr, hurr, you said “injector”.

    Free porno – mags and videos

    Moving in with my girlfriend. Got about 30 mags and 15 videos I need to get rid of. Hit me up if you’re interested. If I don’t pick up, leave a message and I will get back to you. And please do me a favor- In case I’m with my girlfriend when I pick up, say something like I’m calling about the ad for the valve injector for a 94 Chevy Blazer. I will know what you mean. And this will sound legit because I’m in the process of selling that part.

    -Ben
    xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Violet submitted this ad, with the following comments:

    “I feel like this posting really raises some tough questions. Like when he requests interested parties to “say something like I’m calling about the ad for the valve injector for a 94 Chevy Blazer,” what does he mean, something like that? What’s like that?”

    “And if, as he helpfully points out, he really is selling that part, how will he know whether the person is calling about the porn or the valve injector? He’s going to have to ask some awkward follow-up questions that will be much more audible to his girlfriend than someone on the other end of the line and/or end up with an exasperated would-be masturbator who just wanted some fresh material and didn’t expect this kind of hassle or, more disturbingly still, some guy showing up to pick up his valve injector and being presented with a big box of porn. One thing, however, is not in question: these two kids are totally gonna make it.”

  • YSaC, Vol. 427: Title of the Post.

    We here at YSaC put a lot of thought into the titles of our posts. It pleases us greatly when someone gets the (occasionally obscure, usually stupid) reference we are making. Hell, it just pleases us if someone notices there is a title at all!

    Anyway, sometimes we get submissions where people haven’t put quite as much thought into the title of their ad as we do. For example:

    Free Baby and Various items

    “Yes, the baby is still available, as are the various items. I’m sorry, what? What are the various items? Oh, there’s lots of stuff … there’s a combine harvester, a cassette tape of Seals & Crofts, a turnip twaddler, and four garbage bags full of ping-pong balls. You’ll take all of it and the baby? Great!”

    i box of misselounous – $20

    There was a big Greek community where I grew up. It’s nice of Mr. Box O. Misselounous to introduce himself to everyone on Craigslist. I think he might have been my algebra teacher.

    AVENT ISIS ON THE GO MANUAL BEAST PUMP KIT-PAID $50–USED EXACTLY ONCE

    It was used exactly once, but it was used to pump a herd of wildebeest across a crocodile-infested river. (You may have seen the footage on the When Animals Eat Each Other channel.)

    THE BEST VENUE FOR THE BEST RAPERS

    We should put our up incoming female raper in touch with this venue. I mean, if you’re going to do something, at least be the best at it, right?

    Thanks to Kriss, Ashley, totallyfakeaddress@email.com (hey, if that’s what you send me, that’s what I’m going to post!), and Jocelyn for the submissions!

  • YSaC, Vol. 412: It’s not like the name is on the box or anything.

    Trogan Magnum Condoms

    I recently decided to get brave and see if I fit into these bad boys. I bought 2 boxes and decided I didn’t “measure” up. So I’m giving the other box away to the lucky person who is responsible enough to not want to soak up all of the tax money that I am currently spending on people that “slipped” up and now rely on the state to help them out with their situation. Send me an email and they’re yours!

    As Martha points out, this ad has it all: Illiteracy! Condescension! Self-emasculation! Superiority complex! Free condoms!

    Thanks, Martha!

  • YSaC, Vol. 403: Wait, I thought you meant a Volkswagen Thing.

    big golf thing

    it is a huge round thing used to hit balls into golf balls babee base balls and foot balls
    its free come and get it
    call me xxx-xxx-xxxx

    I’ve always wanted a big golf thing. I’ve been looking for one for years! Now my life is complete.

    Wait, what?

    Thanks to val_veeta for sending this one in!

    A bit of administrivia: Some eagle-eyed commenters have already noticed the comment scoring option I added over the weekend. Each comment now has a small +1 symbol inside it, which you can click to indicate your approval of a comment. I thought it might be fun — hope you enjoy it!

  • YSaC, Vol. 393: If by “washing” you mean “kill it with fire”, then yes.

    Mens suit (pants and jacket)

    This is a pin striped gray suit the jacket is a 40 L the pants are 33 x 33 Magic Stretch by Haggard. The good thing about it besides being free is it is machine washable. Its been hanging in a bag in the basement closet for at least 7 years now. sooooo… It could use a washing before you wear it.put xxxxxxx in search box to see all things for sale & free

    Oh and we are smokers
    393

    I’ve never, ever associated the phrases “good thing” and “machine washable suit” together before. I’ve also never, ever considered wearing clothing that has been in a smoker’s basement for seven years and that even they describe as “could use a washing”.

    This was sent in by Relentlessly Optimistic, who runs an amusing blog of his own.

  • YSaC, Vol. 383: A three-hour toeuwer…

    horse moneuwer

    u load ur self

    You know those letters you were trying to save by using u and ur? Yeah, you pretty much made up for it by adding in the random letters in the title.

    I mean, I realize that the word “manure” is obsceuwer, but I asseuwer you that yoeuwer ad will proceuwer more grandeuwer if youeuwer spelling is more mateuwer and less unseuwer.

    Ow. That hurt.

    Thanks to Heidi for the ad!