You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: punctuationally challenged

  • YSaC, Vol. 247: Let me guess .. you’re divorced, right?

    And now for your daily dose of rampant misogyny …

    Boat/Stuff/cheap..

    Please!!
    No BUba thinking picking a free deal….
    Most ive bought was Quailty (G0/2/Marine.com}(West/Marine} No! Wall-Mally Crap!!
    Item….1 Bimini Top.. Was $325.. sell for for $125. 88”wide x56” high 7’x7” long.. please if u women cant mesure d/not e-mail..
    Boat Propeller 14” x 19 deg’s Stainless Steel all most new. look at most marine shop’s …Fish/Finder /Eagle /Ultra/Classic..Lady dont call what color come’s in White…Next!!! G.P.S. Garmin!! 2003 yep old but work’s like new..V.H.F. Realistic Marine Radio!! Yes LADY,, it’s a so called c/b but no V.H.F. ask your dad!! next Item///Last … Outboard/tram/mount/great .. recommended not over 40hp.. Call PH.xxx-xxxx E-Mail xxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com [location]..

    Clearly no women could ever be entrusted to MESURE something properly, and obviously women are so stupid that they have to ask a man to explain complicated things like VHF radios. After all, we’re more worried about things like whether the propeller will match our handbag and shoes.

    It was really difficult for me to not leave in the phone number and email on this one, and to not encourage those of us with two X chromosomes to call this guy repeatedly and ask stupid questions about what he’s selling. (Or even better, find someone really knowledgeable about them and ask him questions that would stump him!) But I’m a good girl. Just ask my dad.

    Sent in by Dan, who obviously knows about this kind of stuff since he’s a guy and all.

  • YSaC, Vol. 239: It’s definitely the second circle.

    looking for women – 45

    i am single mail 45 yrs old looking for a friend/lover/solmat . am a social drinker open minded like to mike popple laugh and horney ass hell !!! can you take care of it grils ??? xoxo

    239

    Allyson sends this one in, saying, “I don’t remember Dante writing about it in the Inferno, but “Horney ass hell” sounds like a pretty horrible one to me.”

    Please make your own South Park movie reference here. I’ll wait.

    As for looking for a solmat, I found one here, here, and here.

  • YSaC, Vol. 221: The 80s called, and they don’t want you back.

    This one’s behind a cut because it’s really, really, really long. Really. In fact, I’m not going to recommend that you read the whole thing — I’m not sure anyone could without having their brain melt — but I’m going to recommend that you at least scan the whole thing. You may find yourself unable to turn away from the train wreck.

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 216: But not cerise. Nobody uses cerise.

    Just in case you thought the last French Preventional entry was a fluke (which, I have to admit, I did!), here’s evidence to the contrary:

    French prevential 5 Drawer Chest-of-drawers / real wood – $35

    Five drawer,french prevential,real wood,chest-of-drawers.Needs a little TLC. Asking 35.00. If interested, please call [xxx-xxx-xxxx]. Please see piture.

    216

    At least they didn’t put “Chester drawers.” And that is a lovely piture.

    Mauve footstool – $20

    Mauve material, with brass button studs, wood legs. French preventional style.

    Those French Preventionists loved mauve. They weren’t afraid of color, like those French Prudentialists. The Prudentialists were all about being prim and proper and monochromatic — they were prudish with their colors, if you will. The Preventionists? They loved color. Mauve, puce, chartreuse, magenta, burnt umber — they used ’em all.

  • YSaC, Vol. 215: Who is Chester, and what is he doing in my lingerie?

    Variations on a theme:

    Antique Dresser and Chester Drawer – $500

    Moving must sell our antique dresser and chester drawer set. Purchased 20 years ago in an antique shop in very good condition.

    I’m not sure what the condition of the antique store has to do with it, but all right then. Surely this must be an isolated mistake, right?

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 213: I always thought that rye was a bully bread.

    one female american bull dog and one male pit bull both bleach white (sav free to good home)

    We are getting our house torn down unfortunitly and have 4 dogs 2 we are trying to keep atleast but 2 definitly have to go wich out of my husband and I would be my 2 and no apt is going to let us have 4 dogs let alone a bully bread I have pic of the 2 dogs imgiving away free to good homes the male (adonis) is death and is always at the vet for something and stays under weight no matter how much I feed him but the vet says he’s pretty healthy so that’s a plus just the non hearing part sucks cause u have to use your hands with him he recodnizes the shake of a finger as no and he will imidiatly stop what he’s doing if he sees u doing it you mite look like a mom talking to a 2 year old but hey it works my white female bulldog I got as a rescue I found an ad for a lost dog and kept walking by it for months so I called it and thhey gave her to me I got her as a companion for adonis and her name is apollo and she is fully trained sits paws talks rolls over these are both very long dogs not really huge in weight 50 to 60 pounds I will be conducting interviews with a good friend of mine at perferably your place if anyone can help or is the least bit intrestedd please call or ttext or email asapxxxxxxxxxx she is fixed he isnt

    The male is Death? Does that mean I have to beat it at chess? Can we make it best two out of three in Connect Four instead? Everybody knows that pit bulls are terrible at Connect Four.

    Okay, that’s it, I’m starting a tag for “punctuationally challenged”.

    Submitted by Kati — thanks!