You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 215: Who is Chester, and what is he doing in my lingerie?

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drmk

in

Variations on a theme:

Antique Dresser and Chester Drawer – $500

Moving must sell our antique dresser and chester drawer set. Purchased 20 years ago in an antique shop in very good condition.

I’m not sure what the condition of the antique store has to do with it, but all right then. Surely this must be an isolated mistake, right?

Um, have you been paying any attention to this blog? It’s never an isolated mistake. Stupidity never happens in isolation on Craigslist.

I don’t know who Chester is, but he certainly has a lot of drawers, and there’s lots of them for sale on Craigslist:

Walnut Chester drawer for sale – $1200

Walnut Chester drawer for sale. $1200.- or OBO. Size 50″L x 26″W x 36″H. Please call [ ] or [ ] @xxx-xxx-xxxx.

215a

tall wood chester drawer – $50

Selling this wooden chester drawer, asking $50. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx M-F 8-5 Sat 9-12

215b

Trundel Bed and Chester Drawer – $500

CUSTOM MADE TWIN BED WITH TRUNDEL AND THREE DRAWERS WITH MATCHING FOUR DRAWER DRESSER. PLEASE CONTACT DANIELLE @ xxx-xxx-xxxx.

215c

Dresser and Chester Drawers – $19500

oak colored dresser is 40 inchs wide 18inchs deep and 32 inchs tall the mirror on top is 23 x33 the chester drawers is 32inchs wide and 14 inchs deep and 44 inchs tall . the drawers are all in great condition and work good. call if you would like to see xxx-xxx-xxxx

215d215e

They’re nice and all, but I don’t think they’re worth $19,500.

Chester Drawers – $25 (Chester Drawers)

Chester Drawers, 5 Drawers $25.00 OBO. Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx Between 8am and 8pm if Interested

215f

Finally! We found Chester! And his drawers!

“Drawer” is a funny word, isn’t it? If you look at it enough times, it ceases to look like a word.

Comments

53 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 215: Who is Chester, and what is he doing in my lingerie?”

  1. Jane Avatar
    Jane

    Based on my eBay experiences, I bet Craigslist is also eager to stock your kitchen with all kinds of bowels.

  2. Maria Avatar
    Maria

    It’s sad to contemplate that someone – wanting to make sure they got it right – could have poked around on Craigslist, saw it spelled “Chester” multiple times, and posted with confidence.

  3. Callisto Avatar
    Callisto

    Hmm I feel stupid. In certain towns I’ve heard people say “Chester drawers” and in other towns, “dresser drawers”. I always preferred “dresser” but I had never really questioned that “Chester” was wrong, since so many people say it. I guess that’s an example of self-breeding ignorance. I now know what happens when I assume. Thank you.

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      Hmmm, I feel somebody else. That is why my face is so red.

  4. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    What has happened is a result of the laziness of our society – a dresser is a “chest of drawers” – as in a chest containing drawers. Someone got lazy and said “chest-o-drawers” which caught on and eventually we were naming them Chester.

    My question – as long as we’re talking about drawers – I see a LOT of posts for dressers (or chests of drawers, if you will) saying “with five draws” or “bottom draw needs to be fixed.” Is it ever correct to call a drawer a “draw?” Not long ago I would have just assumed they were all wrong – that a drawer is a drawer is a drawer (you’re right about that word, btw) – but after moving to a different planet, er, part of the country – I was wondering if it’s a dialect thing. Anyone?

  5. Eyeris Avatar
    Eyeris

    $19,500 for a “chester”?

    You sure that’s not an alternate name for a Dodge Neon? Maybe the chest could morph, Transformer-style, into a Neon … actually that would still be pretty lame.

    1. emesis Avatar
      emesis

      No, it’s just a chester drawers, no transformer. The reason it is $19,500 is because it can save you a lot in daycare costs. See the vent in the top drawer? That’s so your baby can breathe and stay comfortable while you’re at work all day.

  6. PrincessLuceval Avatar
    PrincessLuceval

    I wonder if these same people have “patton” leather purses and shoes, too.

  7. candace Avatar
    candace

    Damn, Chester has some lousy taste in drawers, and he sure thinks a lot of them…

    And I can’t help but flash back to ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’, lol – “It’s DRAWS, not drawers!” Yikes.

  8. Linnee Avatar
    Linnee

    Well, that’s a first for me, but then so was French Prudential. Chester Drawers sounds like a character on Green Acres. (Yes, I’m old.)

    1. Not-a-[censored] Lion Avatar
      Not-a-[censored] Lion

      Petticoat Junction even. Exit stage left.

  9. Elle Avatar
    Elle

    Agreed– “drawers” is a super weird word. About halfway down this post my brain started pronouncing it as “draw-ers,” as in, ones who draw.

  10. Random Person Avatar
    Random Person

    Silly craigslist posters. It’s drawerS. Plural. There’s more than one drawer in each of the Chester drawers here.

    Elle: I agree too, and it gets worse if you’ve studied banking law. In banking law, the pronunciation and meaning are just what you said, except not art-related. When you write a check, the technical word is that you draw the check. You are the drawer.

    Hmm, maybe all these people are offering to have Chester write you a check. That might be a good deal. Or not, depending on the state of Chester’s bank account. Or are they offering the service of drawing on Chester in the art sense? Poor Chester. I hope they use washable drawing materials.

    Yes, I am a language geek.

  11. Random Person Avatar
    Random Person

    I’m also fascinated by “trundel.” Usually when people get that word ending wrong, they go the other way, like saying “mantle” when referring to the thing above the fireplace, which is a “mantel.”

  12. Ash Avatar
    Ash

    Courtney: “Draw” is a New England colloquialism for drawer. However, all of the New Englanders that I have heard refer to drawers as “draws” know how to spell the word properly.

    1. tigprincess Avatar
      tigprincess

      OK so maybe I’m going mad too but here in the UK, in addition to saying chest of drawers, drawers was a slightly rude reference to female undergarments (knickers or underpants). To qualify as a pair of drawers they had to be large and voluminous and finish just above the knee! Hence such comments as “he’s been rummaging in my drawers again” causing much mirth.

      1. One Moving Violation Avatar
        One Moving Violation

        Now I think I understand “chest of drawers”. There is no way my drawers would fit all the way up to my chest without causing great pain. I need to get larger and more voluminous drawers that start just above the nipple.

        1. tankerbell Avatar
          tankerbell

          OMV, I have become very fond of you, but I beg of you: please do not post pictures of you in your new drawers on Craigslist. Or anywhere else.
          Thank you.

  13. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    Callisto – Also remember that when someone says they ‘would of done xxx’, they’re WRONG (and lazy). ‘Would’ve’ is an abbreviation of ‘would have’ not ‘would of’.

    Sometimes I want to knock my head repeatedly into walls. More frequently, I want to do it to other people.

    1. Not-a-[censored] Lion Avatar
      Not-a-[censored] Lion

      “would of done xxx”
      Oh wow! Let us just stick with “should of done PG-13”, okay? We’re not a pron sight.

      If you dammage your walls with your head, then head to wall-mart.

  14. Hayley Avatar
    Hayley

    Ohman. “Chester” looks an awful lot like my uncle. o_o

    1. tankerbell Avatar
      tankerbell

      I think Chester is cute. Don’t think much of the dresser he’s selling, though, there in the back of that garage where you can barely see it. Really, all I notice in that picture is Chester.

      1. One Moving Violation Avatar
        One Moving Violation

        I don’t think that’s Chester in the picture, Chester is taking the picture. That is his brother Manny Drawers. It’s hard to tell though, they are twins. I knew thier father, Shaggy.
        (His wife Missy was known to go commando.)

        1. tankerbell Avatar
          tankerbell

          Did you hear? Manny and his wife Teeny just had a baby. They named him Droopy, but right now they’re calling him Phil. It’s quite the scandal, too, because he doesn’t look like Manny at all, he looks like their other brother, Randy.

  15. Señor Avatar
    Señor

    If you say it enough times, it ceases to sound like a word, too.

  16. Alonzo Abramowski Avatar
    Alonzo Abramowski

    Look good and feel great are just easy simple things you can do to oneself but the advantages are intensive. If you’re looking for the best hair care tool in the market, purchase Kamisori Shears and enjoy good looking hair each day. This shear is one of the best products offered in the market these days. Saloon business and even independent hairstylist prefer the products because of its outstanding quality.

    1. Lola Avatar
      Lola

      SPAMTROLL ALERT! If anyone sees this in the sidebar in time, that is.

      1. ghostcat Avatar
        ghostcat

        I think they missed it.

    2. tankerbell Avatar
      tankerbell

      You know where a good place for Spamlonzo Abromospam to sell his magic shears would be? Craigslist. Not in a blog about sucking on Craigslist, or the comments to said blog, but on actual Craigslist. Hmmmm. What a concept. Even Chester grasped that one.

      1. christina Avatar
        christina

        I’m not so sure shears in the “saloon” business is a very good idea.

        1. D / DM Avatar
          D / DM

          A “saloon,” in British usage, is a sedan. So maybe these shears are for your mobile hair cutting needs…

  17. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    I just checked washingtondc.craigslist.org and found several listings for a “Chester drawers,” including a listing one seller (who posted twice) offering a “5 drawer Chester” in a trophy neighborhood.

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      1, 2, 3, 4, Chester declares an arm war!

      1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
        Dave and Ferret Tribe

        An arm war against whom? The Otterman Empire?

        1. SisterLyle Avatar
          SisterLyle

          Most likely. The Ottermans have never been good friends with the Chesterfields.

        2. One Moving Violation Avatar
          One Moving Violation

          SAVE THE OTTERMAN!

          This message was brought to you by the Dust Bunny Corp. Proud sponsor of the “Save the Otterman Foundation”.

  18. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    Chester drawers, eh?

    I’ll take the drawers.

  19. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    I had a childhood friend with a dog named Chester.

    He didn’t wear drawers, though. He definitely didn’t like wearing the pretty princess dresses either. Silly puppy.

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      I had a childhood dog with a friend named Chester.

      He didn’t wear drawers, either. He definitly did like wearing the cutsey countess dresses though. Silly puppy’s friend.

      (Please don’t hate me for this, It’s just what came to my mind when I read your comment)
      *adore +1 +1 +1*

      1. LimeLolly Avatar
        LimeLolly

        I laughed…. and then went and threw up…because you know… strep ninjas are visiting my house.

  20. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Irregular Fractal has the box today. Y’all behave yourselves now, no making fun of the less fortunate. 8)

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      Yeah. Especially the less fortunate like me. I’m tired of people picking on me for not being in the box.

      1. LimeLolly Avatar
        LimeLolly

        You are supposed to do your business IN the box… not against the wall. Who knew potty-training would be this difficult?

  21. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    The Walnut Chester Drawers will compliment the Darlene Vintage Cedar Chest in my bedroom.

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      Walnut Chester Drawers is IF’s Squirrel Nut Zippers cover band.

  22. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    “Tall Wood” that’s a pretty tall order.

  23. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    Looks like the mear in the second ad works really good. Most mears just hang around the house, reflecting on the walls.

  24. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    *dials XXX-XXX-XXXX*
    Hello, are you the one who has Oak colored drawers?
    Yes.
    Great, I’d like to come over and see them work.
    What?
    I want to see your drawers working good.
    Ummm, I don’t think that’s a good idea, you’re starting to scare me.
    Well, your ad says your drawers work good. I just want to check them out. You know, see them in action.
    No! Stay away! *click*

  25. tankerbell Avatar
    tankerbell

    The tall Chester in the second ad goes with my bedroom set, and I totally want it. But I see that they are selling it because it keeps asking for 50 bucks. I don’t usually have $50 to spare. Plus, I feel guilty enough about all the people on street corners with “please give me money” signs. I don’t need that from my furniture, too.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      tankerbell, that would be difficult to live with. I also don’t want one of those western style Chesters that goes around calling for”Mr.Dillon! Mr. Dillon!”

      Yeah, I know, I’m older that the dirt in the corner of these drawers. I can deal with it. Go look up Gunsmoke, you young whipper-snappers, then get off my lawn!

      In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t have a lawn, I have rocks, but I am not going to tell you people to get off my rocks.

      1. D / DM Avatar
        D / DM

        Windy, these days our drawers are made of fabric. They don’t have corners and they can be washed if they get too dirty. Just thought you might like to know. The reference to undergarments with corners might be confusing to our younger lurkers.

        1. One Moving Violation Avatar
          One Moving Violation

          Those are called boxers.

  26. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    IF, here’s something to take with you on the next band tour you have scheduled: Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Dodge City!

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