MOVING SALE, BEAUTIFUL FURNITURE EXCELENT NEW CONDITION.
LIVING ROOM SET $450.00 OBO
DINNING ROOM SET INCLUDES 4 CHAIRS AND 2 BAR STOOLS $600.00 OBO
CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, SERIOUS INQUIRES PLEASE. THANKS
This one has it all … misspellings (including my beloved “dinning” room!), a price in the title that doesn’t correspond to anything in the listing … and for a bonus, a random baby picture in the listing. (Maybe the baby is actually going for $550?)
And don’t get me started on the “beautiful” and “elegant” descriptors applied to the furniture. The people who buy those kinds of sofas are also the ones who worry about whether the art on their walls matches the sofas and the carpet, and then the whole room ends up very, very beige. These photos are Exhibit A. There isn’t a single real color in there. That poor child is going to grow up thinking that he’s profoundly colorblind.
That’s not beautiful OR elegant. It makes me want to run amok armed with paint rollers in multiple bright, saturated colors.
In the meantime, folks, don’t sell your baby on Craigslist, mmmkay?
I have had a very unique life so far and my personal insight and advice will give you clarity. Find out why you arent exactly where you want to be in life….get in touch with why your not happy. learn ways to know yourself better and participate in excercises that will guide you down the path to complete happiness in your life. Get in touch with what you actually want, how to get it, and why it matters! My diversified past is non-judgemental, yet logical in its honesty. I use to be drug addict…ive been to prison…I was a strait a student,,,ive studued human behavior, sociology, and psychology….noone has the answers but you will eventually get what you settle for with my help. 2 weeks I will live with you in your home and analize evey bit of your existence. After the 2 weeks is over, you will be ready with a to-do list of your life and be ready to accomplish everyhting you wanted but never sought out. I charge nothing for this service…but you must supply all traveling and living expenses for the 2 weeks.
Brenda sent in this posting, saying “I found this in the Creative Services section on my local Craigslist. I can’t think of anything I’d like better than to pay for an ex-drug addict felon to stay at my house and analyze my life.”
I’ve got to agree. If I wanted someone to live with me in my home and “analize” every bit of my existence, and provide me with a to-do list of my life, I would have let my mother stay longer after her Thanksgiving visit. (Except the non-judgmental part wouldn’t have applied to her. That woman can judge you in her sleep.)
And what kind of a sales pitch is, “You will eventually get what you settle for with my help”? What is that supposed to mean? “With my help, you will achieve the mediocrity you’ve been sort of wishing you could attain”?
Having trouble finding the gift for the person that has everything ? Meet Sparky ! He is a large stuffed Raccoon taxidermy, that has been a part of my family for a few years. He’s large, fluufy and oh so cute !! He loves to just lay around on the mantle or hang out on top of a gun cabinet. Great for that country decor and the man that has everything !!! xxxxxxx@yahoo.com xxx-xxx-xxxx
Yep, there’s no better gift for the person who has everything than a “fluufy” raccoon named Sparky who, according to the poorly placed quotation marks, may or may not be stuffed.
Actually, doesn’t Sparky look like he’s reaching down for the guns in the gun rack? He may just be pretending to be stuffed, and patiently moving a fraction of an inch a day until he can get his hands on the guns and ammo. Then Sparky will get his revenge.
I mean, wouldn’t you, if you were a “stuffed” raccoon named Sparky that someone had a tendency to anthropomorphize?
It’s the zen-like brevity that makes this. I hear the resonance of the universe in this post and in this table. I want to be one with the table. I want to drape myself across the table and join the table in its table-bliss.
After all, it is THE table. It is the UR-table. It is the Platonic ideal of tableness. And all of this comes across in a mere seven words.
I don’t even think the table is actually for sale. I think the table just wanted to share itself with the world.
Okay, wait. Stop right there. Does this really sound like a good idea to anyone? Those three words should NOT be strung together (in any order) under any circumstances I can think of.
“Friction” 36×48″ High quality acrylics on deep-edge canvas, suitable for framing but not necessary.
This large-scale, modern work belongs in your home.
Email me for a larger image of the piece.
I’m the artist and I’ll deliver within 75 miles of [location].
xxx xxx-xxxx
Okay, I’m not objecting to the quality of the painting itself. I actually kind of like it. The ladies’ fingers are kind of freaking me out — their hands look like E.T. met a skeleton — but that’s okay. At least the hands match the anorexic bodies. But that’s okay too.
I don’t get the title: Friction. Okay, the woman on the right is holding her purse and she’s upset about something. Maybe she’s upset that her spaghetti strap keeps falling down. Maybe she’s upset that she just dropped her appletini in her lap and now she has to pay for another one. Maybe she’s upset that the parrot that’s just off-picture has more lovely plumage than she does. Maybe she’s upset that her companion has fallen asleep at the bar. But that’s okay too; in fact, it may even enhance the work, since everyone can create their own backstory to the image. That’s actually kind of cool.
I’m actually objecting to the assertion that this work belongs in my home. You, artist, have no idea what belongs in my home. It wouldn’t go with the French Prudential furniture I’ve been so carefully collecting. Or with my lovely vintage loveseat. And it would really clash with my beautiful and expensive lion and giraffe wall hangings.
No, dear artist, unless my house is decorated in late-century depressed-and-angry-barfly, I would disagree that this “belongs” in my home.
You should try this person — they were changing decorating themes. Maybe they’re going for inexplicable bar-based art. They seem like they’re willing to pay too much for things, too, so they won’t even notice your clever pricing that’s hiding the fact that $999 is almost $1000.
