You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: ew.

  • YSaC, Vol. 233: I’ll take “Things You Shouldn’t Recycle” for $200, Alex.

    MUST SALE SOON

    GRAMMA PAST AND LEFT HER DENTURES COULDN’T SEE THEM GO TO WASTE. ALITTLE STAINED(GRANDMA WAS A SMOKER) IM SURE THEY CAN BE CLEANED UP SHE ONLY WORE THEM TO DR APPOINTMENTS SO THEY NOT ALMOST LIKE NEW!!! SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY WILLING TO CONSIDER TRADE FOR GOOD LAPTOP
    PLEASE EMAIL FOR FITTING APPOINTMENT EVENING TIMES MORE CONVIENENT FOR ME
    THANK YOU AND HOPE THAT WE CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT KEEP IN MIND GRANDMA WAS PETITE SO THEY WILL PROBABLY NOT FIT A BIGGER PERSON FREE HALF A TUBE OF FIXODENT AS I HAVE NO USE FOR IT
    PLEASE DONT FLAG ME

    I think this might be worse than the catheter bag and enema table. These were actually in this woman’s mouth — not to mention that she SMOKED with them in. I’m getting tongue cancer just thinking about it.

    Edited to add: Now that I’ve had my caffeine today, I realized we may have solved the problem that this woman and her daughter were going to be facing.

  • YSaC, Vol. 220: Victoria’s Secret is missing this niche market.

    Warning: this post mentions the existence of underwear and some rather specific fetishes involved therein. Possibly NSFW (if you work in a convent), or potentially offensive if you believe in magic protective underwear.

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  • YSaC, Vol. 219: Protected by dirt and junk since 2003.

    HEAD BOARD FOR WATER BED

    IT WILL CLEAN UP

    219

    Well, thank goodness. Tell it to start in the bathroom — it’s a mess in there!

    And if this wasn’t the fantasy bedroom furniture you had in mind while you were searching Craigslist, there’s always this, below the cut:

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  • YSaC, Vol. 217: A symphony of plaid.

    HIDEABED COUCH

    com in git dis couch pleeze
    oh, and itz got a bed in it
    it be on da sidewawk at 1702 Lincoln ave
    com git b4 it gitz wet
    oh, and it workz

    217

    All right, it is no longer cool or “1337” to substitute a “z” for an “s”. This makes it official.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXCVII

    Variations on a(n unfortunately) recurring theme:

    Urinary leg bag

    Hey I know this is really strange but….I had surgery last week and had a catheter….they sent me home with a Leg Bag that I NEVER used…it has been opened but not used…I have the bag and leg straps if anyone needs or is interested.
    I know its wierd but I hate to throw away if someone really needs this.

    You know, I’m all for “reduce, reuse, recycle” … but some things just are not meant to be recycled, even if they haven’t been used. This just might be one of them. (Sent in by Leslie.)

    But wait, there’s more! (Of course there is.)

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  • YSaC, Vol. CXCVI

    Wanted Raccoon meat

    I want to buy a couple of dressed raccoon carcasses for a outdoors banquet. call Don xxx.xxx.xxxx

    I’ve never been so happy to not be invited to something in my entire life. You see, this ad comes from a state that has recently been (and was currently, at the time this was posted) experiencing high temperatures of something like minus eleventy. An “outdoor banquet” doesn’t sound particularly appealing, much less one involving raccoon carcasses. In the meantime, there’s always this. Sure, you can’t eat it, but it would look nice and fluufy on the table!

    Submitted by MF — thanks!