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YSaC, Vol. CXCVI

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drmk

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Wanted Raccoon meat

I want to buy a couple of dressed raccoon carcasses for a outdoors banquet. call Don xxx.xxx.xxxx

I’ve never been so happy to not be invited to something in my entire life. You see, this ad comes from a state that has recently been (and was currently, at the time this was posted) experiencing high temperatures of something like minus eleventy. An “outdoor banquet” doesn’t sound particularly appealing, much less one involving raccoon carcasses. In the meantime, there’s always this. Sure, you can’t eat it, but it would look nice and fluufy on the table!

Submitted by MF — thanks!

Comments

17 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CXCVI”

  1. Jackie Avatar
    Jackie

    If the state in question happens to be Nebraska, I know someone who can hook the poster up with some raccoon carcasses. I do, however, question the sanity of anyone who would voluntarily stay outside long enough to cook and eat them there right now.

  2. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    Further north, and to the right. (Metaphorically, not politically.)

  3. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    Heh. Minnesota to be exact. And as stated, we’d had a week of -20 below days.

    The guy had posted a couple other ads looking for dressed raccoon too. I don’t know, I’m thinking dressed, insulated, sitting by a fire sipping hot chocolate. (Clearly I don’t know what a ‘dressed raccoon’ is)

  4. Sara Avatar
    Sara

    But it’s a banquet! How can you say no to a banquet? Let me put on a ball gown and I’ll be right there.

  5. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    Sara, make sure it’s a floofy ball gown.

  6. kireina Avatar
    kireina

    A floofy ball gown with flannel underskirts and fur lined glass slippers!

  7. Blonde Savant Avatar
    Blonde Savant

    I’m pretty sure the poster means “Outdoors Banquet” in te sense of a banquet with an outdoors theme. Like hunting, camping, etc. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself to stay sane.

  8. Blonde Savant Avatar
    Blonde Savant

    er…*the*

  9. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    At the word “dressed”, I pictured a bunch of little raccoons in tuxedos and gowns.

  10. Monica Hamburg Avatar
    Monica Hamburg

    Look, I obviously know nothing about the delicacy that is the raccoon, because I assumed one would only eat one if desperate for sustenance. Clearly it’s a “banquet” thing. Well pull up my knickers and call me Dolly, I’m grossed out.

  11. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    I’m sorry – raccoons are scavengers. They eat what other animals won’t, including trash. Why on Earth would anyone want to eat what eats trash??? Though they are mean little b@$t@rds, so, I really don’t feel so badly that they’ve been sacrificed – or that they’re going to be, anyway.

    I’m trying to imagine the planning committee for this banquet. I’m guessing the main course was chosen via a blind and binding raffle and that someone – who’s not planning on attending – is getting the last laugh on everyone as they head to Applebee’s for some riblets.

    What does one serve with raccoon anyway? Beans? Slaw? Barf bag?

    1. Kagenin Avatar
      Kagenin

      Odd raccoon fact: they wash their food before consuming.

      Of course, washed trash is still trash…

      Andrew Zimmern (host of “Bizarre Foods” on The Travel Channel) ate Raccoon at an Appalachian BBQ party. Then again, he eats a lot of stuff I wouldn’t ever consider eating unless stuck in a survival situation.

  12. unfortunate names Avatar
    unfortunate names

    i agree, if you are going to be served at a banquet you better be wearing your r’coon tux

  13. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    Is that complete with a ‘coon skin cap??

  14. Katy Avatar
    Katy

    Courtney- my husbands family (which I admit are a bunch of rednecks in the ‘we hunt much of our own food and drive fifteen year old trucks that are souped up to go through anything to hunt them’ sense) have eaten ‘coon on several ocassions. Hubby doesn’t care for it, it’s ‘too greasy’ for him, but some of them like the game-y, greasy taste. Half the ‘world cuisine’ I’ve eaten they wouldn’t touch. To each their own.

  15. Lizzy Avatar
    Lizzy

    My mom says she thinks you serve Walnuts with them (her punny self says preferably “walnut mousse”) where she acquired this type of information I dare not question 🙂

  16. Pete Avatar
    Pete

    wish i’d seen this when it was posted! i could have pointed this gentleman to a couple of fresh and well-preserved specimens on the 35W shoulder in S. Minneapolis. better yet, they were pre-marinaded in browned highway snow! mmmmmmm…

    can i get a finder’s fee?

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