Are You Ashamed Of The Lack Of Dressers In Your House
It is a very frustrating experience staring at those empty spaces in the main rooms of your house, clothes scattered all across the floor, and your closets just as messy; your rooms are just perpetual messes that never seem to get in order, no matter how much time and effort you spend cleaning them. What is the result of this frustrating process? Your overall well-being suffers and you find yourself making little problems into much larger difficulties. These little things that we are exposed to each day are the triggers for negative snowballs in our lives. Studies have proven that not having the necessary little things to complement our lifestyles are what give rise to bigger problems and the big problems are never really the cause. All the while, you are confused as to how you got yourself into such a knot. Coupled with the constant reminder, “Money can’t buy happiness,” mantra, causing you to think that saving your money will help your problems. The truth is that money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the convenience to allow happiness in the door, such as buying the things you do need. Don’t let the little things build to something much worse. Your home is your sanctuary and you need certain things to make it so. You are fooling yourself to think otherwise.
[Editorial comment: There’s more — much more — below the cut. Please read the lengths this person is willing to go to in order to sell two dressers. (And they’re not even French Prudential dressers!)]
Tag: trying too hard
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YSaC, Vol. CXXVIII
TO GIRL WHO BOUGHT DESK TOOK DRAWERS BUT NOT DESK – $90
TINA, COME GET THE BODY OF THE DESK. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME, HERE IS MY NUMBER, CALL ME FOR DIRECTIONS. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? COME GET ‘ER. I NEED THIS DESK GONE ASAP, LET ME KNOW OR THE DUST BIN CALLS.
Tina, you heartless drawer-taker, you. Why haven’t you called? (I mean, other than the fact that the guy forgot to provide his phone number even though he said “HERE IS MY NUMBER”.)
I don’t think Tina is coming back. Move on with your life, which is as empty and hollow as your desk.
Submitted by KM — thanks!
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YSaC, Vol. XCII
Da Vinci Nirvana Cabinet – £1000000 (pacific coast)
-DA VINCI NIRVANA CABINET-(Leonardo da Vinci used pattern recognition to come up with new ideas. In, A Way of Stimulating and Arousing the Mind to Various Inventions, Leonardo advised himself and others to “look at a wall spotted with stains, or with a mixture of different kinds of stones; if you have to invent some scene, you may discover a similarity with different kinds of landscapes, embellished with mountains, rivers, rocks, trees, plains, wide valleys and hills in a varied arrangement: or, again, you may see battles and figures in action or strange faces and costumes, and an endless variety of objects which you could reduce to complete and well-drawn forms.” So pay attention to the master and see what is in this cabinet’s woodgrain.)
So you’ve seen the Da Vinci Code Miracle Door, the completely coincidental trinity of figures appearing in the woodgrain of my cabinet door. Now it’s time to see the rest of the story: The opposite door which makes up The Da Vinci Nirvana Cabinet! So you’ve seen the door on the right with the Sign of the grail(a V) above the headless nude woman (the disempowered Magdalene)which has the shape of a fish (in some forms, the Christ sign)in what could be the sun (though dark). SO now to add another chapter to this story, the DOOR ON THE LEFT: The Da Vinci Nirvana Door. Now to look at this door we will rotate it so that the left side becomes the top. Now you can see if you’ll look closely, a rising out of the woodgrain on the right side ( above what looks a little like the start of a fleur-de-lis on it’s side) that becomes a round circle of lines radiating outward. From this the lines widen out and on the left side they take on the shape of a mushroom. This is important and what comes next is even more so. The next line breaks the mushroom mold and forms a nose over a neck and chin making a face looking upward to the heavens. YOW! Then in the next line radiating out from it, the face’s mouth is agape with awe and wonderment at what it has beheld and in the following lines the face is absorbed into the universe at one with everything. Knowing all things and making only those ripples in the ocean of creation that serves all and destroys only that which wants to be destroyed and be transformed because it is time. SO to sum up: The Da Vinci Nirvana Door shows us the start of an insular self-centered mushroom-like (kept in the dark and fed bullshit) existence perceiving that the heavens somehow revolve around it not aware of the careless ripples it makes in the ocean of the universe (with luck it’s universe will be small surrounded by other insular self-centered universes)And then it begins to realize BANG the universe does not revolve around it and ZOW it percieves a woodwork of thought, action, consequence and existence that inspires awe unlike any it had experienced before. And then KABLOOIE it becomes as one with the universe and it’s workings. There ya’ go, a whole ‘nother door to complete the Da Vinci Code Miracle Door/Da Vinci Nirvana Cabinet Mega Coincidence, umm…Miracle? AND it’s still only a million dollars or best offer! Not for sale to people who want to use it to start a war or lord it over people for the sake of it. If you buy it and do these things or attempt to do these things, you must return the cabinet to me and no refund will be forthcoming to you and this is a rule of this sale. It is alright though to make peaceful wads of money to be used worhtwhiley off of it though, as long as all subsequent owners understand that Karma will (if not an actual agent of myself) have total and lawful contracted authority to wrest the cabinet away from whomever they are and bitch-slap them back into their mushroom phase of existence. Price : £1,000,000.00 or best offer.
Up until the point they specified that it wasn’t for sale to people who want to use it to start a war or lord it over other people, I was right there with them — if I had this, I would absolutely lord it over everyone else.
I’m also wondering what would happen if you got this piece of furniture too close to the flying chair.
This was posted in the London Craigslist. I didn’t realize England had a coastline on the Pacific. That must just be me, in my insular self-centered universe, not realizing that the ocean of creation has no physical boundaries and that the KABLOOIE can make the Pacific Ocean one with the England universe.
I think I’m going to have to start a new tag for this one — “trying too hard”. There’s clever, and then there’s trying too hard to be clever.