You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: fun with pictures

  • YSaC, Vol. 421: The geezer period was after the French Prudential period.

    nice home decor

    [1]very nice wall hanging $5.00
    [2]bird house center piece $10.00
    [3]very nice swag $6.00
    all are homemade

    Say, that is a very nice wall hanging. Is that cross-stitch or latchhook? Can I get the pattern for that at JoAnn Fabrics? I think my grandmother would like that on a pillow. It’s so hard these days to find good embroidery work of geezers making obscene gestures. I mean, back in the 20s it was all the rage to decorate your house in early grandpa-grabbing-his-junk! It was everywhere — wall hangings, tea cozies, antimacassars, you name it. For some reason that style just didn’t keep as well as we thought it would. They say if you wait long enough everything will come back into fashion, though, and this is proof!

    Thanks to Mo for sending this one in!

  • YSaC, Vol. 416: Whatever you do, don’t cross the … drawers.

    5 Drawer Dresser – $30

    5 Drawer Dresser. In good Condition. We are moving soon and need to sell it. Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx if interested.

    416

    The ordinary reader would look at this and think, “They obviously made a typo and meant to say a four drawer dresser. Twice.” But we, we are not the ordinary reader, are we? We recognize that this dresser is obviously owned by someone who is not constrained by simple physical principles; someone who is capable of postulating spaces and dimensions — and drawers! — that don’t exist. That’s right, as improbable as it may seem, this dresser is owned by, and most likely intended for, a string theorist.

    So what do we put in our imaginary drawer? (The Imaginary Drawers would be a great name for a band, wouldn’t it?) Oooh, we could put our stuff in the imaginary drawer! But if we put real stuff in the imaginary drawer, that might cause a total protonic reversal. Or something.

    Let’s see if anyone else has any ideas about what we can keep in magical dressers.

    Dresser

    Looking for a decent dresser if anyone wants to get rid of one…could use one for my son and my clothes. Please email. Thank you.

    This person could use four drawers for her clothes, and the extra magical fifth drawer to keep her son in. It’s like something straight out a Seinfeld episode. It’s perfect!

    Thanks to Christine and Eric for the posts!

  • YSaC, Vol. 414: Digital killed the film star.

    I didn’t get the subject line of this ad, but it hardly seems necessary:

    minolla camera comes with its own case works good dont need it I have a digitall $60 firm

    cash only please serious inquires only

    susie or cliff xxx-xxx-xxxx

    You sure you don’t need that Minolta, Sparky?

    I’ve never gotten seasick from a picture before, but you’ve managed to do it somehow. The only way this is an acceptable picture to post on Craigslist is if you took it while riding the Tilt-A-Whirl at your local meth-freak-run carnival. In fact, that bedspread sort of looks like someone had too many blueberry Icees and cotton candy.

    Thanks for the submission, Tyler!

  • YSaC, Vol. 408: Kurzsichtiger Epileptikerdachs, in case you were wondering.

    Custom Pink Coffee Table – $5

    Customized coffee table with lower rack and wheels.

    408a408b

    You know, there just isn’t a good way to describe this coffee table. “Customized” isn’t quite the right word, is it?

    Now that I think about it, I’m not sure English HAS the right word to describe this coffee table, since there isn’t a word that means “appears to have been spraypainted by a nearsighted epileptic badger with an anger management problem”. I’m sure German has a word for that, though.

    Thanks to “The Shanimal” for the submission!

  • YSaC, Vol. 387: Hand me that bag, I’m going to puce.

    2 Lazyboy recling chairs like new! Must sell ASAP!!!! want gone today – $150

    I am selling 2 lazyboy recliners, these are like new! One of them swivels, rocks, and reclines and the other one rocks,and reclines. I want theses gone ASAP!!!! Iwould like them gone today!!! both are the same color ( light kacki ) Please let me know if any questions. Please if interested make a reasonable offer and there yours!!!

    Naomi sends in this ad, with the following commentary:
    “Now, there are a couple of things you should notice about these chairs.  First, of course, is that they are recling.  So if you have ever wanted to recle in a chair, now is your chance.  You might not know about recling, but it is what you are doing when you are not being reckless, of course.

    “Second, there are two chairs, but they look like three, and they all take up the exact same space in the seller’s living room.  Don’t ask how — they are trained professionals; don’t try this at home.

    “Then, of course, there is the lovely kacki color.  If you’re not familiar, this is the color you turn on a bumpy plane ride, as in ‘Are you OK?’  ‘No, I’m feeling a little kacki.’

    “Apparently, the sale of these magical kacki recling chairs has something to do with the seller’s frustration over graduate school, because s/he wants theses gone as soon as possible.”

    Recling. Surely that’s just someone making a one-off typo in the title, right? I mean, they got it right in the ad itself, so surely nobody else would make that mistake, right?

    I have recling and other chair and 5 bucks for you

    hurry wont last at this price

    Oh. So, wait … I’ll get a recling, and a chair, AND $5? Is there any chance the recling is kacki?

    Second post courtesy of Martha F., who destroys my faith in humanity once again.

  • YSaC, Vol. 369: I’ll just sleep on the floor. Thanks anyway.

    BED BUGS ARE BACK!…everything needs to be gone in 2 weeks!! – $1

    I’m moving out of state in a few weeks due to hygienic difficulties…I need to sell everything!!!

    couch $200
    white bookcase $70
    bedframe/mattress and side table $250 (not until last week of June)
    oak bookshelf $15
    wicker chair from Pier1 $60
    EVERYTHING IS IN GREAT CONDITION!!

    I will be having an garage sale through RSVP only- on Sunday June 14 all day!!!
    books, clothes, desk w/ file, desk chair, misc kitchens and bathroom treasures!!
    371a371b

    371c371d

    You’re moving.

    Because of bedbugs.

    And so you’re selling … your couch and your bed.

    *scratches*

    No thanks. I think I’ll try to find another bed on Craigslist. There must be other ads for beds on Craigslist, right?

    (more…)