YSaC, Vol. 237: Beep beep.

2009 March 12

95 Caddy STS – $2800


YOU ARE LOOKING AT ONE BAD ASS RIDE!! THE FIRST LUCKY BASTARD WHO COMES TO SEE THIS CAR WILL BUY THIS RIDE!!! I MUST SELL FAST TO PAY FOR MY DIVORCE!!! I’VE BEEN ORDERED TO PAY VAGINAMONEY!!! AS YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO TELL BY READING THIS I AM NOT F$%^KING HAPPY!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A 1995 CADILLAC SEVILLE STS 32 VALVE V-8 NORTH STAR ENG, HAS POWER EVERYTHING, LEATHER INTERIOR, FACTORY CD/TAPE STEREO, FACTORY CHROME WHEELS, EVERYTHING WORKS, IT GETS 21 MPG AND HAULS ASS. IF YOU EVER DROVE ONE YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!! IF YOU HAVE A LEAD FOOT GOOD LUCK KEEPING TIRES ON IT CAUSE IT WILL CONSTANTLY LITE THEM UP IN SMOKE!!! MY LOSS IS YOUR GAIN!!! DO YOU KNOW WHY DIVORCE IS EXPENSIVE?…….. BECAUSE IT’S WORTH IT!!!! YOU CAN CONTACT ME AT xxx-xxx-xxxx JAMES

We can tell you’re not f$%^king happy — you’re shouting. Allow me to introduce you to my friend, the Caps Lock key. It turns on and off. Also, there are types of punctuation other than the exclamation point.

The surprising thing here isn’t that this fellow is getting divorced, it’s that anyone who would actually conceive of the term “Vaginamoney” and use it in a public setting — much less in an attempted retail transaction — would find someone who would marry him in the first place.

I’ve noticed that there are certain models of car I know for a fact I will not like the owner of.* In other words, the type of personality that would buy a Chevy Monte Carlo SS, for example, is a personality type that I will not get along with. I have (quasi-)empirical evidence to back this up — I have never met a Monte Carlo SS owner/driver that I like. Has anyone else had this experience (not just with Monte Carlos)? Based on this, I think I might have to tentatively add Cadillac Seville owners to that list. Anyone who judges their car’s quality based on the potential to ‘burn rubber’ has a vastly different set of priorities than I do.

*Yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition. I couldn’t figure out a better way to get through that one.

44 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 March 12

    “…certain models of car I know for a fact I will not like the owner of.”

    …certain models of car of which I know for a fact I will not be the owner.

    Otherwise, right on, man! This guy is obviously a douche. Yea for the free woman on the other end of that divorce!

    Adores: 0
  2. 2009 March 12
    Budgyrl permalink

    I have never met a SAAB driver that I liked, so yes, I know what you mean.

    Adores: 0
  3. 2009 March 12
    drmk permalink

    K: That’s not quite it … it’s not that I don’t want to own them (although I don’t), it’s that I don’t like anyone who DOES own them (or wants to own them).

    Budgyrl: Whew … glad it’s not just me.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 March 14
      web permalink

      While I am prepared to accept it’s not just you, I’m certainly not willing to admit that it could ever be me.

      My best friend in the military in the early years drove a Monte Carlo. Good man, a better civilian when he got out. No mullet here.

      Possibly the most professional staff NCO I ever knew in my dozen plus years drove a ‘Vette. And her husband as well. The classic ones.

      And despite despite my total hatred of huge honking pick up trucs and SUVs I’ve known several wonderful people who drove them. I had to like them despite their horrendous choices in transportation. 😉

      Adores: 0
  4. 2009 March 12
    Random Person permalink

    A too-strict adherence to the rule about ending sentences with prepositions leads to the sort of nonsense “up with which we should not put.” I forget who said (approximately) that; I think it’s usually attributed to Churchill. Sometimes it’s just ok to end with the preposition.
    p.s. Can you tell me how do I get this thing out of second gear?

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 March 12
    drmk permalink

    Yay! You got the reference!

    This one is my favorite example: A child tells his parent that he does not wish to be read to from a particular book. The parent goes downstairs and gets the book anyway, and brings it upstairs. The child says:

    “What did you bring the book I do not wish to be read to out of up for?”

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 November 15

      That is amazing! I had been in love with that Winston Churchill quote for a while, and it has just been usurped by your story. Where did you find that? Inquiring minds want to know.

      Adores: 0
  6. 2009 March 12
    no luck permalink

    “Vaginamony” is from Tom Leykis, so the fact that he’s using it says exactly what kind of person he is: an uncreative idiot who hates women. (Not that you couldn’t figure that out from the rest of the ad.)

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 March 12
      drmk permalink

      Whoo-hoo! There’s nested comments now — you can reply directly to someone’s post. Yay!

      [Clearly this is just a test.]

      Adores: 1
  7. 2009 March 12
    Elle permalink

    Oh wow. I’m really scared of this guy. Even if this were the car of my dreams and he were selling it for a dollar, I don’t think I would want to be within spitting distance of him… he might start in on a screaming misogynistic tirade at any moment.

    Adores: 0
  8. 2009 March 12
    Jessie permalink

    I didn’t know my ex-husband could afford a cadillac… Oh wait… there’s more than one of these types out there? Oh no!

    Adores: 0
  9. 2009 March 12
    z0iid permalink

    ok, first – i really enjoy this blog, and am generally amused by the commentary, etc.

    but this time, seems as if you might be having a bad day. Tom Leykis is amusing, and the term vaginamony is funny. you don’t have to be a guy, or divorced to see that. and just because you think it is funny, doesn’t make you a misogynist. it means you aren’t uptight, and don’t need to follow the pc rules set forth by a society that is unfunny. i find femenistic humor funny, even if it does insult the male gender. i would say… lighten up. you’ve already realized the guy is a douche – but douche does not always equal a zero of a human being, or zero sense of humor.

    and yes, although “burning rubber” would not fit within a large percentage of our societies “priorities”, for some, performance is important. that being said – american cars suck ass.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 March 12
      Courtney permalink

      The term is insulting, especially with quite a few ladies out there bringin’ home the bacon – when all is said and done, they’re paying alimony to the guy. What do you call it then? Same thing?
      P.S. I’m not having a bad day – I just have good taste.

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 March 14
        web permalink

        If I got upset over every insulting term I ever heard during the course of the week I’d have no time for life. Or, for that fact, every excruciatingly politically correct term that gets spouted. I don’t have time for that petty stuff.

        That said, though, while I can appreciate the humor inherent within the term since women *do* have it slanted towards them in divorces (a man has to prove he is a capable parent. You ahve to prove a negative with women), I find the incessant shouting more deplorable than any term. Or maybe the fact that it’s a caddy. Or that I have good, though simple, tastes.
        PS – married for 30 plus years before the “you must be single” bashing commences.

        Adores: 0
  10. 2009 March 12
    dogface permalink

    Dude, Cadillacs are for pimps and old people.

    I like the nesting comments. Very nice. 😀

    Adores: 0
  11. 2009 March 12
    Anonymous permalink

    (Okay, I can’t get this to nest or post regularly, so let’s try this again…)

    You don’t have to be having a bad day to think something isn’t funny; humor is extremely subjective. My day is going quite well and I don’t think “vaginamoney” is funny because I find it to be immature. Also, whether you think it’s funny or not, “vaginamoney” isn’t appropriate to use in business transactions. It’s extremely unprofessional, which is why it’s up here for all of us to mock.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 March 12
      drmk permalink

      My ISP is having some issues today, Anonymous — the posting issues may not have been your fault. If it keeps up, let me know.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 March 12
        z0iid permalink

        do you think craigslist is realistically used for “professional business transactions” most of the time? i don’t. would he be able to post this in the for sale section of a newspaper? probably not. but – he isn’t. he’s using craigslist. you do what you need to do to “stand out” if you need to sell something in a hurry. maybe he won’t get this sold because he is a douche, but he’s getting attention, and maybe that is all he wanted. yes, humor is subjective. people who have a limited scope of what they find funny, or require “decency” parameters, or a “no lowbrow” requirement… well, they come off as: snobby, uppity, elitist, dull, uptight, etc… i am generally a very happy dude that lives a low stress life. and i attribute this mostly to my personality/character that finds amusement in an extremely wide range of situations.

        so chill out, or move on.

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 March 12
      z0iid permalink

      sorry, replied to wrong comment.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 March 12
        drmk permalink

        Heh. That won’t be the only time THAT happens, I bet.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 March 12
          Anonymous permalink

          Just because people don’t agree with you on matters of opinion zoiid, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong or have personality defects. The “If you don’t agree with me, you must be somehow defective because I find my opinion to be the right one” argument just doesn’t doesn’t work. It’s just the self-serving bias.

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 March 12
      z0iid permalink

      you sort of made my point for me, and stepped in a big pile of hypocrisy. in your first comment you state” …because i find it to be immature.” and “…isn’t appropriate to use in business transactions. It’s extremely unprofessional…” Those sound like “statement of fact” to me. But really, they are your world view, and your opinions – but you feel like others who think this is funny, are somehow “lower” than you. Again though, I am amused by this as well, because people can so quickly and easily contradict themselves. Life and people are a constant source of amusement for me, and I don’t look down at anyone, I just pity people who limit their world view because of “societal standards”, or “religious norms”, etc. I feel bad that you have limited things that can make you laugh and be amused, and generally stress free and happy.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 March 13
        Anonymous permalink

        You’re ascribing negative personality traits to me based on one opinion I’ve shared that you don’t happen to agree with. I don’t find people “lower” than me just because I don’t like their humor (I just ignore them) or they do things that are against the general consensus of society (going against the grain is often humorous). You seem to be taking difference of opinion as a personal attack, which isn’t the case. I’m going to stop replying now because there’s really no point at this point.

        Adores: 0
  12. 2009 March 12
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Is Vaginamoney next to West Vaginamoney?

    Adores: 2
  13. 2009 March 12
    Colleen in MA permalink

    If I say that I do not like Hummers will I somehow get mixed up in all that vagina talk?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 March 13
      Anonymous permalink

      Depends on if you are talking about the vehicle or something else 😉

      Adores: 0
  14. 2009 March 12

    I find that when you’ve ended a sentence with a preposition, you could probably stick a “for which” or “for whom” in there somewhere and make it go away.

    For example: I’ve noticed that there are certain models of car for which, I know, for a fact, I will not like the owner.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 March 12
    Simon permalink

    There is no “rule” of English grammar against ending sentences in prepositions. Never was. It’s a “zombie rule” invented by over-fastidious grammar teachers.

    There is a fine tradition of ending sentences in prepositions that is continued by some of the finest authors in English, and you should be proud to count yourself amongst them.

    Language Log has some advice on the issue here:
    http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=1185

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 March 12
      drmk permalink

      Yay! I’m one of the finest authors in English!

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 March 12
        Simon permalink

        “Fine Authors of English” is a group you are a member of!

        Adores: 5
        • 2009 March 12
          drmk permalink

          I’ll take that. 😉

          Adores: 0
  16. 2009 March 12

    You got the Monte Carlo thing nailed. Up here in Redneck, Northern Michigan, we also have a proliferation of rude people (both genders) who wear mullets and drive yellow Ford Rangers.

    Adores: 0
  17. 2009 March 12
    mojo permalink

    Trans Ams and also Corvettes. Never known a driver of one who wasnt’ an extremely sleazy, arrogant and greasy guy. YUCK.

    Adores: 0
  18. 2009 March 12
    Amaia permalink

    I love that he’s so proud of the “factory” tape player and the 21 miles per gallon.

    Adores: 0
  19. 2009 March 13

    I would like to buy a vowel, but all I have is this vaginamoney.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 March 13
      drmk permalink

      I think you can get a “u” with that.

      Adores: 2
  20. 2009 March 16
    Leslie permalink

    I am particularly taken by the “first lucky bastard who comes to see this car will buy this ride” portion of this ad. What if it happens to be Lucky Bastard #2 who purchases the car? Does that make said person a sad and pathetic follower like the second girl who throws her panties on stage at a rock concert?

    Adores: 0
  21. 2009 March 16
    blake permalink

    I just realized that “vaginamoney” was the poster attempt at a witty play on “alimony”.

    Not sure if that makes it more or less pathetic.

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 August 17
    Hiyame permalink

    As a domestic relations attorney, I have to say… I have never heard that term before… Maybe that’s a good thing? I’ve never has a client, though I had some questionable ones, who came into my office and was like “about that vaginamoney…” Though I am fairly they would have received a “Motion and Order for Withdrawal of Attorney” in the mail the next day, stating “personality conflicts” as the reason why we can’t continue… Though I do know some attorneys where these clients are their bread and butter. Those people are frightening…

    Adores: 0
  23. 2009 September 23
    KPod permalink

    Is that car … pink??

    Adores: 0
  24. 2009 October 30
    George permalink

    Just, you know, for the record, I drove a Seville. Parents’ car and whatnot. They’re good people too, though, so let’s give it a bit before we add this one to the list.

    Monte Carlos, though, are right out.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 March 13
      JayP71 permalink

      Old ones are cool. New ones, noooooo. Why in the world would you have that much power going to the wrong set of wheels? Torque steer anyone? Plus they just look odd.

      Adores: 0
  25. 2009 December 2

    I know this is months after the fact, but to avoid the sentence-ending preposition in that sentence might be possible without grammatical acrobatics à la Churchill:

    “…there are certain models of car whose owners, I know for a fact, I will not like.”

    Of course, it would be improved by then changing “I know for a fact” into some adverb with similar connotations, such as “I certainly will not like”.

    I find grammatical challenges just a tad too much fun…

    Adores: 0
  26. 2009 December 15

    The only guy I’ve ever know who drove a Monte Carlo was a complete ass.

    Adores: 0

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