YSaC, Vol. 296: The line forms to the right.

2009 May 9

looking for the perfect woman – 28


im a single dad looking for a well off woman with a career, and a nice house. You must not have a problem being the primary breadwinner. I enjoy traveling so earning enough to do that frequently is a must. Im a nice guy love to hang out and just relax. Im 28, i cant cook, clean, or do laundry. Perhaps i could learn. I’m very efficient on a computer, and xbox. I have no formal education, and I enjoy to drink. Dont do any drugs, so dont worry about that. If you are interested we could set up and interview, and see if your right for the job.

Translation: I’m looking for someone who can support me in the manner in which I wish to become accustomed.

Thank goodness he doesn’t do drugs, so that won’t get in the way of his not doing anything else around the house but drinking and playing xbox games.

Also, maybe it’s just me, but it seems to me that if you’re looking to become a kept man, shouldn’t you be the one being interviewed?

32 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 May 9

    At least he can spell and form a sentence. After some of the ‘LULZ!!!!!!’ entries on cl, it was almost refreshing reading that one.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 9

      Proper sentence forming and mad xbox skillz- setting the bar lower every day!

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 May 9
        Amaia permalink

        Lord, between YSAC and Date Wrecks, I’d better watch myself or I’m going to settle for someone just because they know how to use spell-check.

        Adores: 3
  2. 2009 May 9
    Amy H. permalink

    The title of the ad needs to be “looking for a new mommy.” Just in time for Mother’s Day!

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 May 9

      Ha, I came here to make a similar comment but you beat me to it. I agree– it sounds like he just wants a mama.

      Adores: 1
  3. 2009 May 9

    How can you be 28 years old and not know how to do laundry? Is it really that hard to do?
    Must have been too busy xboxing to ask mommy how to.

    Adores: 1
  4. 2009 May 9
    misstephani permalink

    Wow! I wonder if this is my ex! He was a worthless POS too…

    Adores: 1
  5. 2009 May 9
    Mandee permalink

    “. . .very efficient on a computer and xbox.”

    Like that is an accomplishment! And it’s possible that he can’t cook, but it should have read, “I can’t cook, and don’t want to clean or do laundry” because my 2 year old can do laundry.

    Adores: 1
  6. 2009 May 9
    Courtney permalink

    What I think is funny is that he doesn’t even sell himself – he’s like “I can’t do anything – and what I can do, I don’t do.” Not “I’m a handsome man, an amazing lover, will cater to your every whim.” Just that he’s a “nice guy.” Of course, we all know that translates directly to “jackass.”

    Adores: 5
  7. 2009 May 9

    Efficient at computer and Xbox, huh? Not proficient, but efficient. I guess that means he can use them both at the same time, just not very well.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2009 May 9
    Jill permalink

    I have the sneaking suspicion that this was written by my ex …

    Adores: 1
  9. 2009 May 9
    Ellen permalink

    I’m so glad he loves “to hang out and just relax.” For a moment there, I was afraid he would overexert himself with the computer and Xbox.

    So let me guess: he and his kid live at his mom’s house & she’s asking him to move out?

    Or maybe this is an experiment to see how low women are willing to go? Man, I hope no one answers his ad.

    Adores: 1
  10. 2009 May 9
    kristen55 permalink

    “I enjoy traveling so earning enough to do that frequently is a must.” Taht’s the BEST part šŸ™‚ If earning enough to do that is a must, I’m afraid I would invite him to get off his ass and start earning it.

    Beyond ‘single dad’ there was no mention of the kid whatsoever.

    Adores: 1
  11. 2009 May 10
    manz permalink

    I think everyone’s missing the joke. There is no way that anyone would write that thinking someone would apply. The tone is way too tongue-in-cheek for that. He wrote it on a lark, or an ex-girlfriend wrote it for him in anger.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 10

      Or he’s seen this site….

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 10
      Canaduck permalink

      Boy do I hope you’re right.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 10
      Amy H. permalink

      I agree that it’s probably just a jest. However, becuase this sounds exactly like an ex of mine (and several other posters as well) we know that there are some guys out there that could easily stoop this low.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 May 10
        kristen55 permalink

        I wouldn’t put it past a guy to just be hopeful and say ‘hey, maybe I’ll put it out there and get lucky’. I’ve seen enough weird stuff on CL, I would believe anything…

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 11
      Count Blah permalink

      I agree…it’s probably a total joke. Either that or the guy is being totally honest about who he is and what he wants on the off chance that some idiot will actually take him up on it.

      Adores: 1
  12. 2009 May 11
    corn flakes permalink

    Isn’t being Xbox efficient like being talented at watching tv or a professional-level napper?

    Adores: 5
  13. 2009 May 11
    Miki permalink

    I think we need a new tag… Something along the lines of, “How are you still single?”

    Adores: 1
  14. 2009 May 12
    NevelC permalink

    Hey. I give the guy credit for not having any other requirements for his woman other than that she make a lot of money. She doesn’t have be under 28 or a total hottie, or even height weight proportionate. As long as she has some dough, he’s ready to let her support him.

    What a guy.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2009 May 12
    Tonya permalink

    He enjoys drinking, huh? You don’t say……

    Adores: 1
  16. 2009 May 12

    I really think this is a play on most of the W4M adds out there. If I saw this posting in the W4M I wouldn’t think anything of it. Minus the xbox part of course.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 May 12
      K.T. permalink

      There is many a woman who is proficient (or, as he says, “efficient”) with the Xbox and more.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 May 12
        K.T. permalink

        “Is many”? Maybe that should be “are many”. I actually don’t know. Huh.

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 May 13

        I agree, you just don’t normally see it listed in her add. Most of the the other things he states are hinted at in many W4M adds.

        Adores: 0
  17. 2009 May 12
    sumguy permalink

    I’d say he’s pretty spot-on in describing the perfect woman šŸ™‚

    Adores: 0
  18. 2009 May 12

    “Im 28, i cant cook, clean, or do laundry.”

    Or use apostrophes.

    “Iā€™m very efficient on a computer, and xbox.”

    = I exert the minimum amount of energy possible.

    If anyone does reply to him, I sure hope he’s either incredibly handsome and hunky or least a multiskilled lover. Why do I doubt both, though?

    Adores: 1
  19. 2009 May 14
    Champerz permalink

    Wait, is this my ex-bf??!

    Adores: 1
  20. 2009 July 24
    Lisahhh permalink

    I once divorced a 28 year old man who spent his days drinking while playing video games. By the time I’d get home at 6:00 from my professional job in the City, he’d be sloshed, but oh-so-proud that he’d reached Level 10 in Mario Brothers.

    To top it off, HE was the one with a humongous trust fund. At 23, I just couldn’t see myself living the rest of my life like that, much less having children… Poor & happy trumps rich and fucked up.

    Adores: 2
  21. 2009 September 21
    Mesila permalink

    That does it. I’m going to go post a Craigslist ad just so I can say “Must be a head, no clean/sober types, please.” (And realistically speaking, no drunken louts or crackheads, either. “Drugs” means a wide range of things, not all of which entail the same sorts of behaviors.)

    This dude seems like the textbook definition of what the average person believes a pothead spends his or her life doing. I just realized something: these idiots proudly trumpet that they ‘don’t do drugs’ because they’ve got so many other black marks against them, they think that their non-use of drugs is somehow going to make up for it all, just on general principle!

    Adores: 1

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