This was posted in writing gigs:
Creative Writer
In an need of a creative writer, the item is Area rugs and carpets.Please send quotes
We’ve got some creative people here — even though this ad isn’t very inspirational (or, for that matter, informative), let’s see what we can come up with! Area rugs and carpets — ready, set, write!
[Sent in by fly_girl_5000 -- thanks!]
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Area rugs and
carpets you cover these floors
so neatly and well
It was a dark and stormy night. The area rug was in the midst of a carpet existential crisis, wondering “Why am I just laying here, inviting people to walk all over me?”
I got som Area rugs and carpet s I need to get rid of. Brown with some spots but can clean. Asking $551.35, but paid $25,000 originaly. OBO
-Carl
Handmade rugs from Area, very one-of-a-kind pieces colors are white, red and green. Also some carpet, large pieces. Make me an offer I can’t refuse!
-Susie
It was a rug. It was a good rug. A strong, sturdy rug, a man’s rug. The kind of rug you could roll up in on a craggy mountain top while you wait for the bearer to bring up your guns. It was a good rug.
But I’m moving and it’s too small for my new place. $174 obo. Pick-up only.
i would so buy a rug advertised like that!
You should hear me riff on chicken house lumber.
*nostalgic sigh*
This was my first comment on YSaC.
Area rugs have it tough;
Getting stepped on is so rough
On one’s soul. Yet to lie
In one place, I decry.
Rugs must be free, I say!
There do not make them stay!
Instead, sell them to the highest bidder
So of the world they may see the splendor.
Ah, I love poetry…That was beautiful (sniff) brought a tear to my eye.
carpet, carpets i
choke on musty odor my
heart questions the truth of this
shag piled
cum-stained testimony
to final failure
take it out of my life the
burn on my ass healed the
carpet
is $150, 12 years old, Light blue, 7.6m x 4.0m, Buyer to uplift.
All inspiration and creativity can be found with the haiku – sending the buyer into a susceptible zen state, from the more practical:
Do you need a rug?
Area rugs to sell here,
Also carpets, yes.
or
An area bare?
Buy a rug or carpet now.
Prices on request.
to the more poignant:
Beauty is carpet,
Mystery discoveries,
Found underneath it.
Hmmm… one could totally take ‘area rugs and carpets’ into an adult category… is this someone who can’t write their own cheesy ‘I need to hook up’ ad?
“Imagination is the true magic carpet.”
-Norman Vincent Peale
“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet”
-Woody Allen
Pay me.
Will I get paid by the word or by the letter?
omg…you all just made my entire day!
Arial rugs are my favorit kind of car pets. Aureole rugs and car pits are both good for fete. Aria drugs and tar pits, I lik them for a flor. Aryan bugs and bar tips are made out off feathrs??? or fluf. Barium mugs and spar . . strips . . . <> <>
= hic!! *falls off barstool*
Jorge knew the rug all to well at this point..that seemingly innocent carpet just laying there waiting like an old adversary- plotting for Jorges next step.
It wasn’t always this way.
As a young boy Jorge and the rug would play together, that is, until that fatefull day…..
Through all the years of their life together, she would never forget that moment. The way he’d looked at her next to the fireplace. The nervous excitement with which he’d descended to one knee on the area rug or carpet. Before he’d even asked, she’d wanted to shout, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Behind every great man, there is a great area rug or carpet. Be great today.
…but the “made in china” hidden beneath her pined “No!, No!”
Would she hold up to such man-handling?
Now though, in the *throws of passion, she dare not let him know she was in fact not a Persian…
@sumguy:
Orientional? Or French Preventional?
I’ve been working on some samples that are too long to post.
One of them, I call The Not-a-Lion, the Which, and the Area Rug.
The other is a musical called simply Rug Doctor!