YSaC, Vol. 298: Mmmmm, raisins.

2009 May 11
by drmk

Chef Brian says – m4w – 20


It is a fairly common misconception that you cant make windows out of brick.
Most people feel that brick is too soggy. And I can assure you, it is a shoe.
Scientist have discovered that 9 out of 10 shoes are numb. This brings up a disturbing question.

DOES COFFEE BLEED!?

If infact it does then one most consider the possibility that all life is a giant cake mold.
But instead of delicious gooey, cake batter we are filled with raisins.

It’s too well-organized to be a spambot. I’m filing this one under “trying too hard” because it feels as though this person is attempting to be random and quirky. You can’t ATTEMPT to be random and quirky — you either are, or you aren’t. This person isn’t.

[Edited to add: and, as it turns out, this person is plagiarizing from a webcomic. See link in comments!]

Sent in by SD — thanks!

26 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 May 11
    emington permalink

    It’s a character from the webcomic “CTRL ALT DEL”

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 11

      Aww – you beat me to it emington. Yup, that’s an exact plagiarism from one of my favorite cartoons “CTRL+ALT+DEL” by Tim Buckley. Click on my name to see the original comic strip. You can search Tim’s archives for all the “Chef Brian” stuff. I honestly don’t really get Chef Brian and wasn’t sad when Tim stopped using that character.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 11

      Yup, here’s the exact comic it’s from: http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20030705

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 May 11
      drmk permalink

      I’m going to have to initiate a plagiarism tag, aren’t I?

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 May 11
        jackie31337 permalink

        I second the plagiarism tag!

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 May 11
          jackie31337 permalink

          Oh wait, don’t you already have a “write yer own” tag?

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 May 11
          drmk permalink

          “Write yer own” is for when I’m too lazy to come up with something witty. I’ve added the “plagiarism” tag and will go back and tag the other recent posts that involved plagiarism.

          Adores: 0
        • 2014 January 7
          Innana permalink

          I second the plagiarism tag!
          signed, Innana

          Adores: 0
  2. 2009 May 11
    Sam permalink

    This reads out like a madlibs.

    Adores: 1
  3. 2009 May 11
    corn flakes permalink

    It’s actually worse, knowing it was plagiarized. It means two people thought that crap was entertaining.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 11
      Libby permalink

      Thank you for saying what i was thinking!! what does this crap mean?! WHY is it supposed to be funny?

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 May 11
        corn flakes permalink

        It’s like a defense mechanism for people that aren’t funny. If you cant be witty of clever you can:

        a. say something offensive and go for “shock value”
        or
        b. try for random, nonsensical gibberish and hope that people will think “wow that is so odd and entertaining.

        If saying sh*t that doesn’t make sense was comedy, then Chris Rock would be opening for my 4 year old niece’s comedy tour.

        Adores: 3
  4. 2009 May 11
    dandibandit permalink

    I *love* Chef Brian!

    Adores: 1
  5. 2009 May 11

    Ugh, Chef Brian is the worst character ever written. “Oh look how zany and random I am! I are pants! Oh that was clever!” Buckley is the worst.

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 May 11
    Colleen in MA permalink

    I bet Chef Brian is emo.

    Adores: 1
  7. 2009 May 11
    gas station bathroom permalink

    At first I thought it was someone’s piss poor attempt at being a faux-scatterbrain “crazy person”.

    The first person who wrote it sucks more than the Craigslist ad person.

    Adores: 0
  8. 2009 May 11

    I’d argue that gibberbabble can be entertaining, even funny, but it’s difficult to do well. Most people’s attempts will land in the Fail basket along with this one.

    For example, whether you like Python or not, I think you’d have to agree that most of their forays into the tangential and non sequiturious rate seventy-eleven million points higher than this unholy humor abortion.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 May 12
      Miki permalink

      Let us not forget the brilliance that is the random nonsense spewed forth by Happy Noodle Boy. Pure genius there.

      Adores: 1
  9. 2009 May 11
    Oni permalink

    I’ve always found the Chef Brian strips to be some of the funnier ones that Tim does.

    Adores: 0
  10. 2009 May 11
    dogface permalink

    At first, I thought this was some crazy a la the Time Cube ( http://www.timecube.com/ ). But now that I know this was plagiarized (lame) from a dude trying to be quirky, random, and witty (lamer), well, I kinda wish it were some crazy a la the Time Cube. At least crazy people aren’t going out of their way to be an annoying douche. :/

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 May 12
      corn flakes permalink

      Time cube isn’t crazy.
      ..Oh ok. It is pretty crazy.
      I was going to make a joke, but forget it.
      That guy is almost dangerously crazy.

      Adores: 0
  11. 2009 May 12
    Kerrin permalink

    Whether or not it’s trying too hard or being unoriginal, he’s 20. I’d chalk it up to looking for a girl with the same sense of humor he has – she has to recognize the quote and also think it was as funny as he thought it was. If you don’t recognize the quote, it’s totally nonsense, and if you do, but you didn’t think it was funny, you won’t like this guy. I’m not so sure he sucks at craigslist so much as just sucks, but that just means I’m not who he’s looking to date.

    Adores: 1
  12. 2009 May 12
    sumguy permalink

    Yep ..just some labored spontaneity, and failed attempt to rekindle a lifelong attempt at fitting in with that Simpsonesque/Zippy The Pinhead collective mind set….
    As stated above the true tragedy here is that more than 1 person found this tripe, yes, you read correctly, garbage amusing enough to put on the internet. Even more pathetic is that I/we are here looking down our noses at this shit like some responsible holier than thouh *psychic superhighway overlords.

    *”psychic superhighway” term coined by me on or about August 31st, 2006 all rights reserved.

    Adores: 1
  13. 2009 May 18
    D / DM permalink

    Egad. I’ve just read several CTRL + ALT + DEL strips, and there is nothing funny about any of them…

    Adores: 0
  14. 2011 April 18
    Ethne permalink

    i feel like this is this guys idea of a love poem, like “roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you” but to someone who is also missing their sense of humor. but worse than that. like when two people from a mental asylum fall in love. I think that explains this.

    Adores: 1

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.