YSaC, Vol. 299: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!

2009 May 12

Beef Jerky that looks like USA map – $50

It is a vacuum sealed package of beef jerky that resembles a map of the USA, without Florida. See picture. 296

Oh, goody! I’ll put it right next to my Sistine Chapel ceiling tile.

If you turn it on its side, it sort of looks like an obscene SpongeBob Squarepants, too.

Sent in by Becci — thanks!

18 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 May 12
    corn flakes permalink

    This type of stuff is pretty much like looking at the clouds or a Rorschach test.

    If it doesn’t have Florida, it doesnt look like a US map.

    Even with Florida, it would be coincidental, but not worth $50 …..unless it came packaged with 49 dollars in cash.

    Adores: 5
  2. 2009 May 12
    corn flakes permalink

    And to me, it looks like a Bull with one horn missing sitting like Buddha.

    Adores: 0
  3. 2009 May 12
    Colleen in MA permalink

    I spent (wasted?) all of my twenties living in Florida. That map looks about right to me.

    Adores: 0
  4. 2009 May 12
    sumguy permalink

    OOH! this is the rarer post Bush era one.

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 May 12
    Caffeinated Katie permalink

    I guess the seller doesn’t know that the only food worth shelling out the big bucks for is food that looks like religious figures.

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 May 12
    D / DM permalink

    I would buy this if it looked like the U.S. without California…

    Adores: 0
  7. 2009 May 12
    Jane permalink

    Oddly, it’s a near-perfect Ohio.

    If the seller could just find somebody with a jerky Pennsylvania, Kentucky, and Indiana, he’d probably have a sale.

    Adores: 1
  8. 2009 May 12
    Amy H. permalink

    Wow. Some folks have gotten pretty desperate haven’t they? Maybe it’s SpongeBob’s creepy uncle SpongBill. (I’m hoping people remember the spong holder post.) Looking forward to Vol. 300 tomorrow, keep up the great work!

    Adores: 2
  9. 2009 May 12
    Becci permalink

    Yay, thanks for posting my beef jerky! Well, not MY beef jerky, but…er…

    …what makes it even weirder than someone trying to sell a chunk of beef jerky shaped like the U.S. (without Florida) for fifty bucks is that s/he is selling it on the Vancouver, Canada Craigslist.

    I guess it’s as likely to sell here as it is in the U.S…i.e., not at all likely.

    Adores: 1
  10. 2009 May 12

    If someone pays $50 for that I’m going to hunt him down and stab him in the face.

    Adores: 1
  11. 2009 May 12

    I would have guessed it looked liked 3 frogs pleasuring a snake. Damn, I’m terrible at these things.

    Adores: 0
  12. 2009 May 12
    Mrphysic permalink

    I have a slice of cheese that is in the perfect shape of Wyoming – $60……….

    Adores: 2
  13. 2009 May 13
    Laura permalink

    OMG! ive always wanted a piece of jerky shaped like the US minus FL!!!! *breaks open piggy bank filled with life savings*


    Adores: 0
  14. 2009 May 14
    bonni permalink

    Again quoting the line from the Simpsons: “Florida??? But that’s the wang of the nation!!!”

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 2
      Julia permalink

      Actually it’s “Florida?? But that’s America’s wang!”

      Adores: 1
  15. 2009 May 15
    El Kev permalink

    Actually, it looks like a smushed up piece of fecal matter.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2009 May 17
    T-Bone permalink

    How do I know this is really beef jerky and not some dried piece of human innards? This is CL, after all!

    Adores: 0
  17. 2009 November 18

    We shall bless him/her for him/her to offer us the holy grail of Beef Jerky.

    The one and only Beef Jerky looking like a U.S. map. Without Florida. and Alaska. and Hawaii. and Puerto Rico. and Guam. and the Virgin Islands. and the Northern Mariana Islands. and American Samoa. and the Midway Islands. and some other hideously small and farfaraway islands nobody really cares about anyway.

    Thank you, Sir/Lady. After all the Jesus and Mary Chain alike toasts, potato chips, tacos, leader beans and so on, my set of things that look like other things is now complete. Thank you for offering it at the allmighty Craigslist. Thank you for not just realising that your Beef Jerky looks like a map of the USA – although without Florida. and Alaska. and Hawaii. and… – and then unwrapping it and eating it. Eating it, just like every other normal, mentally healthy person would do. No, oh No! You resisted! You waisted your time and ours with your ability of remembering the shape of your home country (without Florida. and Alaska. and Hawaii. and…). Although you might struggle to find it on a world map.

    Adores: 1

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