YSaC, Vol. 363: The rooster is a man, baby.

2009 July 15

Love To Read True Books About Animals! Then This Is The Book For You! – $36


Displayed At The Bottom Of This Page You Will See The Book’s Front Cover.

View the first 15 pages of this book? Click this link provided to view and order this amazing book. Delivery is 5 – 10 days. >> [link deleted]

$1.00 of every book sold will be donated to the FeatherFoot farm.

Enjoy reading true stories of pets and animals, then you will enjoy reading the true life story about these twin brothers, two rooster who grew-up together as brothers, who’s love only got stronger for each other, this love and devotion would take the brothers on a incredible journey, a journey that would test the brothers love, bravery and strength within as they come to face the days ahead. Find out what happens. It will touch your heart.

Title of book: The True Life Story Of FeatherFoot
The Tail Of An Unforgettable Brother’s Bond, Bravery And Death.

A heart-warming story that will take you on an incredible journey, a look into the lives of two amazing roosters, twin brothers that will make you see chickens in a different light. Read the incredible life journey that these two amazing roosters had.

Enjoy reading or please pass this book on to a friend and share the story about Cleo and Leo FeatherFoot (free-range chickens) who developed such an incredible strong bond for each other. Their bond gave them courage to stand together face to face against nature’s worst predators no matter what their fate would be. Learn what happen to each brother. It just may shock you.

Discover what happened to the brothers when one of the hardest hit rainstorms hit Maple Ridge. Is their bond strong enough to keep them together, will they survive or perish?

Book contains over 20 actual photographs of the FeatherFoot brother’s life on the farm. The owners of Cleo and Leo FeatherFoot have provided all photographs.

Price
Hardcover, Dust Jacket $35.95
Hardcover, ImageWrap $38.95

363

I’d just like to point out that this person has a book out. I don’t have a book out. How come this person has a book deal and I don’t? I know how to use apostrophes. That should be worth something, right? More importantly, I’m not writing about roosters. Is there really a big market out there for poorly written and punctuated books about roosters? Because if I’m missing that lucrative market, I can certainly come up with something. I’ll just flail randomly at the keyboard and I’ll have a craptacular book about roosters written in no time.

On a more serious note — how can roosters be twin brothers? Were they both hatched from the same egg? I’m pretty sure that’s scientifically impossible. As is the fact that this person has a published book out and that anyone will be willing to spend $36 for it. Not that I’m bitter or obsessing over that or anything.

BTW, Cleo dies. He was trampled by sheep or something. It’s not quite the same order of spoiler as “Soylent green is people” or “He was dead all along”, is it? But I saved you $36. You can thank me later.

Thanks for the submission, Lesley!

89 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 July 15

    I’d just like to point out that this person has a book out. I don’t have a book out. How come this person has a book deal and I don’t?

    Because you haven’t decided to use a vanity press. Although I’m pretty sure you already know that; I can’t imagine anyone believing that this Dawn Harris really has a book deal. You can have books printed on demand, too, if you want to pay Blurb for it.

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 July 17
      IvoryGirl permalink

      You’d be amazed at the volume of books in the marketplace that are the result of self-publishing. Most of these folks don’t have editors, and those that do are using “Spell Check” as their editor.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 27
      Mental Mouse permalink

      The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with vanity presses — modern Print-On-Demand technology has actually made them affordable for normal people. But they shouldn’t represent themselves as a “real” publisher who can get your books into bookstores. (“Blurb.com”, described below, doesn’t make any such claim — Lulu.com is also well-known.)

      PublishAmerica, however, is such a scammer. Here’s an insider account of the “Atlanta Nights” sting that proved the point. Others to watch out for: Robert Fletcher’s stable (Writer’s Literary Agency, Strategic Book Publishing, and many other names — article has more links) and Author Solutions, Inc..

      The group Writer’s Beware has a lot of information about these and other scams.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 July 15
        Moira permalink

        Writer is Beware?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 July 15
          Addicted Reader permalink

          No, it’s a Beware belonging to the Writer.

          Adores: 0
  2. 2009 July 15

    Okay, I should preface this by saying that I’m an editor, so perhaps egregious errors in print bug me way more than they should, but ohmydearsweetlord, the subtitle. Really? The TAIL? I want to believe it’s a play on words–I really, really do–but I used up all my suspension of disbelief in buying into “Dawn Harris” being FeatherFoot’s secret identity. You know, ’cause she’s the author of his autobiography and all.

    Adores: 5
  3. 2009 July 15

    HUH?!?! The “autobiography”??? its a miracle that chicken can write, i don’t know if we should knock on him for lack of grammatical cohesion!

    Adores: 10
    • 2009 July 15
      D / DM permalink

      A friend of mine told me a story recently about her days as a substitute teacher. She once met another substitute teacher who was frustrated because she couldn’t get the students in her class to understand the difference between a biography and an autobiography.

      That being, of course, that “an autobiography is written by one person” and a biography is written by more than one person.

      Probably two. Hence the prefix “bi-.”

      Now don’t you feel silly?

      Adores: 19
      • 2009 July 16
        Maureen permalink

        I fear for the world. Hopefully this idiot never subbed for the same class long enough to be much of an influence.

        Adores: 5
      • 2009 July 24
        araispoetry permalink

        I thought an autobiography you wrote about yourself, hence the prefix auto- ? Autobiography has bi- in it as well…

        Adores: 4
        • 2009 July 26
          D / DM permalink

          Correct, correct. Now read again, and look for the “funny ’cause it’s true” effect.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 February 28
        HazelBitten permalink

        I was mostly impressed that it was an “Autobiography of Featherfoot by Dawn Harris“.
        As clearly and unambiguously stated below that stirring picture of a creature that can be knocked unconscious by holding it upside down for 90 seconds.

        Adores: 4
  4. 2009 July 15
    Ren permalink

    I’m more amazed that this is an autobiography. An autobiography about the “tail” of an unforgettable rooster.

    You can get away with bad grammar and spelling if you’re a rooster with a typewriter.

    Adores: 23
    • 2009 July 15

      That’s true–it must be hard to hold down the shift key when you’re typing with your beak…I withdraw my criticism. Rock on with your bad chicken self, FeatherFoot!

      Adores: 22
      • 2009 July 15
        Lola permalink

        Excuse me for a moment …
        *wipes laugh-projected coffee from computer screen*
        Thank you.

        Adores: 2
      • 2009 August 19
        Hiyame permalink

        “Rock on with your bad chicken self, FeatherFoot” is now on my list of all time favorite things I’ve read on the internet, along with someone else’s “I laughed so hard my cat left the room”. I love this blog!

        Adores: 5
      • 2009 September 21
        Mesila permalink

        FeatherFoot. The chicken’s name is Feather Foot. Something seems off here…You’ d think that in spite of the bad English and the ridiculous anthropomorphics, at least this particular budding writer would know something about chickens…right?

        Now I am not a farm girl–I’ve lived a third of my life in the burbs and the rest in a Major Metropolitan Area, so maybe my familiarity with farm fowl is a tad bit limited. But I do seem to recall that chickens’ feet DO NOT HAVE ANY FEATHERS. It’s the rest of a chicken that has the feathers on it. The feet of a rooster are bare hard claws.
        Somehow, this incongruency is the funniest part of the whole thing for me.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 13
          Holly permalink

          There are actually some breeds of chicken that have feathers on their feet. Sorry to ruin what you thought was the funniest part. And not to nit-pick, but the farm is Feather Foot Farm. The roosters are Cleo and Leo. Also- it is possible to get two chicks from one egg- double yolked eggs will have twins in them. Hence the expression “Don’t count your eggs before they are hatched.” If you’re going to make fun of someone else’s post at least do some research first.

          Adores: 4
        • 2009 November 13
          arallyn permalink

          Holly-Sure, some chickens have feathered feet, but that rooster clearly does NOT. Look at the picture. And the “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched” has nothing to do with egg yolks. It’s a tale by Aesop. Go look it up. If you’re going to make fun of someone else, at least do some research first.

          Adores: 9
    • 2009 July 15
      jackie31337 permalink

      “You can get away with bad grammar and spelling if you’re a rooster with a typewriter.”

      OMG, I need this on a tee shirt!

      Adores: 7
      • 2009 July 15
        Colleen in MA permalink

        Me too! drmk, perhaps you should start a CafePress store with some of the weird and wacky phrases on this site!

        Also, I work in publishing and can attest to the fact that you do not need good punctuation and spelling skills to get a book deal. That’s what underpaid associate editors are for.

        This was probably published using a vanity press, as suggested by Kitten above. Anyone can publish using a vanity press, but then they have to be their own copy editor, proofreader, designer, marketer, publicist, production manager, and distributor. Good luck with all that!

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 July 15
          drmk permalink

          In the works — and I’ll add this to the list.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 July 15

          Oh, it was definitely published with a vanity press. I checked to make sure that it was before I posted my original comment. You can find the page for this book here on the Blurb site.

          I think “Rock on with your bad chicken self” would also be rather awesome on a T-shirt.

          Adores: 5
        • 2009 July 15

          Now all we need is some clip-art of a chicken with a guitar, and we’re good to go!

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 July 15
          Buster Poindexter permalink

          Don’t forget the typewriter, too, in that clipart.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 July 15
          antoinette jeanine permalink

          “That’s what underpaid associate editors are for.”

          That’s me! That’s me!
          I work at a University press, and I can fully attest that even the smartest people in the humanities are usually incapable of self-editing. So to expect the same of a creature only a few evolutionary rungs up from a velociraptor can only result in disappointment.

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 September 21
          Mesila permalink

          Somehow, this ad and the one from the Foodpeeple guy (with the “CHICKENWATER” cans that he’ll fill up) could end up on the same T-shirt design…with possibly amusing results.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 September 21
          Nicole permalink

          Now, it would only be awesome if the chicken was rocking out with his black guitar. And only if it was SO BLACK it faded into the shirt and couldn’t be seen.

          Adores: 0
  5. 2009 July 15
    Nicole permalink

    Autobiography?! Must be difficult to type with those chicken feet…

    On a side note, I cracked an egg just last week that had twin (unfertilized) yolks … so it must be possible to have twin chickens/roosters… right?

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 15
      jackie31337 permalink

      Most chickens type using the hunt-and-peck method.

      Adores: 26
      • 2009 July 15
        Buster Poindexter permalink

        Win!

        Adores: 1
      • 2009 July 15
        Pianodan permalink

        Off with your head.

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 July 15
        drmk permalink

        Oh god, why didn’t I think of that???

        Adores: 2
  6. 2009 July 15

    I had a autobyography–
    but I eated it.

    Adores: 2
  7. 2009 July 15
    anon permalink

    You can get double yolked eggs, but the egg’s not big enough for both of them and they’ll die around day 10 or so.

    Kudos to the “hunt and peck” comment… FTW

    Adores: 1
  8. 2009 July 15
    Galadriel permalink

    Since when is Cleo a boy’s name?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 15
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      Since it rhymed with Leo? Maybe that will be the spellbinding sequel: “Cleo The Rooster: I’m Actually A Hen.”

      Adores: 9
    • 2009 July 16
      D / DM permalink

      Maybe since Cleo Fields.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleo_Fields

      Adores: 0
  9. 2009 July 15
    Kay permalink

    If it’s an autobiography, don’t you think the “rooster” would know that a “rooster” and a “chicken” are different, and thusly the terms cannot be accurately used interchangeably?

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 July 15
      Buster Poindexter permalink

      A rooster is always a chicken, but a chicken isn’t always a rooster. Tautology on craigslist, them’s lernin’!

      Adores: 7
  10. 2009 July 15
    dogfacee permalink

    Soooo, does this person expect to donate a grand total of $1 to this Featherfoot farm? ‘Cuz I don’t see anyone but Dawn Harris’ mom actually buying a copy.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 July 16
      D / DM permalink

      Not true. Her best (strictly platonic) friend Glenn will buy one too, instead of the two bottles of whiskey he would have drunk alone in a dark room next weekend.

      And when he is finished with the book and still alone in a dark room next weekend, he will regret it.

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 August 1
        friend permalink

        Lisa is this you??? from friend

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 August 3
          D / DM permalink

          No, sorry. My name is Glenn.

          Adores: 4
  11. 2009 July 15
    dogfacee permalink

    P.S.

    I Googled the title, and it seems that the author has posted this ad in about a thousand different cities’ Craigslists.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 July 15
      drmk permalink

      Yup.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 July 16
        dogface permalink

        P.P.S.

        I can’t spell my own pseudonym correctly. :P

        Adores: 3
  12. 2009 July 15
    Chicken Little permalink

    A search on Google has a few sites where people claim to have hatched “double-yolkers.” They appear to be quite rare, as there often isn’t enough room in the shell (as mentioned above.) Anyway, the whole thing is just ridiculous. With a description written so poorly that I just want to poke out my eyes, why would I think the book would be any better? Even if it were well-written, it’s a bromance about chickens. Gah! People are nuts.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 July 15
      Amaia permalink

      I’m so glad we’ve cleared that up. Perhaps we can do the same with the punctuation issues. For example, the missing/misplaced apostrophes are intentional (it’s only a singular “brother” because the shocking twist is that he has dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder? “who” is a character in the book?), and the exclamation points are just really straight question marks. Yes? No? Okay, I tried to help, but I give up.

      Adores: 4
  13. 2009 July 15
    Olson permalink

    If the brothers stood “face to face against nature’s worst predators” it would not surprise me at all to find them dead by the end of the book. You can’t defend yourself standing face to face…..gah! lol

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 July 16
      Maureen permalink

      I now want to invent a martial art in which a team of two fighters takes on opponents while staring into each other’s eyes in a zen-like fashion.

      Adores: 11
      • 2009 July 24
        araispoetry permalink

        sounds erotic…

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 13

      I want to see these two roosters take on a great white shark, a kodiak bear, and a Bengal tiger. Maybe also a velociraptor or two.

      Adores: 3
  14. 2009 July 15
    Jill permalink

    Can someone with an extra $36 and a lot of time buy this book, edit it, and send it back to Dawn?

    Adores: 3
  15. 2009 July 15

    cock fight?

    Adores: 0
  16. 2009 July 15
    suedoenyhm permalink

    I’m glad I’m not the only person who looked this stuff up on the internet!

    Adores: 0
  17. 2009 July 15
    bonni permalink

    Bookstore employees receive many, many [unsolicited] self-publishing promotional email messages. The messages are all horrible. Some are more horrible than others. I have a file somewhere of five years’ worth of the worst. (Sample book title: “Justice Is Blind — AND HER DOG JUST PEED IN MY CORNFLAKES.”) Oh god, and the closer it was to Christmas, the worse the books were. drmk, I hereby threaten to dig out the file someday and mail it to you.

    Adores: 4
  18. 2009 July 15
    christina permalink

    You know there is also Publish America who pays you ($1 retainer) and they will publish just about anything. You have the option of having their staff edit the work or doing it youself to get the book out quicker. I published a book of poetry through them in 2005. I’ve made about $18 so far. But then again, I did absolutely no promotion for it.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 16
      D / DM permalink

      PA will publish ABSOLUTELY anything.

      Those of you who don’t know about PublishAmerica, google “Atlanta Nights.” If you’re lazy, read this:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlanta_Nights

      …but to see how truly wonderful it is, you need excerpts.

      This is not to say that everything PA has printed has been rubbish–some good (but naive) writers have gone to them. They just have no standards at all.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 July 16
        christina permalink

        I agree, I never said my poetry was good :)
        But honestly, it beats a vanity press if you just want to publish something that you really don’t think is going to propel you to literary stardom.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 July 16
          D / DM permalink

          Well, I didn’t say your poetry WASN’T any good. I haven’t read any of it. I’ve written some poems myself, most of which are crap, but I’m proud of some. But my tastes in poetry are probably different from most people’s. So I wouldn’t presume I could be a fair judge of the quality of your work even if I did read it.

          All I meant was that for PublishAmerica, it makes no difference if you are the next Mark Twain or the next Jim Theis.

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 16
      bonni permalink

      No judgments passed on christina’s poetry. (I can gar-on-TEE you that whatever it is, it’s better than my poetry.) And, really, there’s enough material done through them that SOME of it has got to be OK or semidecent. So I have no issues with christina, especially since she is nice and actually literate!!

      But I will say that our bookshop’s affectionate nickname for the company was “Punish America.” :D (I had almost forgotten about that one . . . thank you . . .)

      Adores: 0
  19. 2009 July 16
    kristen55 permalink

    Since we raise chickens, I got a particular laugh out of this one. My rooster also had an exciting and adventurous life, until it came to a dramatic end. He was delicious ;-) That’s it, I’m writing a book too!

    Adores: 10
  20. 2009 July 16
    LauraB. permalink

    If this is the story of “twin brothers,” why is there only one rooster on the cover? If their bond is so strong, you’d think they’d insist they both be pictured!

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 July 16
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      Well, since they’re twins, they figure you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the other.

      Adores: 12
      • 2009 August 27

        “If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amahl”.

        Adores: 11
  21. 2009 July 16
    Alexander K. permalink

    Hmm, I actually kind of want to read this book. But I have a rather strange sentimental attitude towards chickens and turkeys. That said, I’m certainly not going to shell out 35 bucks.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 24
      araispoetry permalink

      I hope the “shell” was an intentional pun :-)

      Adores: 1
  22. 2009 July 16

    Just from the title, I don’t need to read the book to know what happens…
    “The Tail Of An Unforgettable Brother’s Bond, Bravery And Death” = They were born, they cuddled or something, and then they got eaten by a coyote.

    Well that was fun!

    Adores: 5
  23. 2009 July 16
    RequiredName permalink

    If I buy a copy of this book, will all the commenters on this site get together and annotate it for me? It would then be pretty much the funniest book ever.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 17
      jackie31337 permalink

      Yes! We should do that. That way we all get to read it (along with the previous reader’s snarky comments).

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 September 21
      Nicole permalink

      Oh, goodness. We could just mail it from household to household and once we’d all had out turn to smack the crap out of the “author,” we could send it back to her…or frame it and allow her to put it on the wall in her psychiatric ward.

      Adores: 0
  24. 2009 July 17
    Nicholas permalink

    I like how spiritual these roosters are. Although predators and storms are mentioned, it seems the roosters are on a Zen-like quest as much as a physical one: their love sends them on a journey that tests their love and strength within. My question, does a powerful love always have to test itself? Do these tests lead to rooster enlightenment?

    Adores: 0
  25. 2009 July 30
    Adelle permalink

    First, I really really REALLY want to read this book (even though the ad alone hurts me to read) because I collect chickens, and I want to read what happens to the rooster brother’s (sic) and that is a very pretty chicken on the front cover of the book.

    second, I WILL find a way to get a t-shirt that says “Rock on with your bad chicken self” I will do this thing. And I will take a picture, and I will post it here.

    amen, praise the Lord, and Hallelujah. A bad chicken t-shirt. yes.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 30
      drmk permalink

      We’re working on the t-shirt, I promise!

      Adores: 0
  26. 2009 July 31
    Jessica permalink

    My favourite part is that this is an autobiography.

    Adores: 1
  27. 2009 September 11
    Interestingly_Average permalink

    Just had to mention this since it appears no one else did. There are two types of twins, fraternal and identical. Identical twins occur when a single egg splits into two embryos after fertilization (the apparently extremely rare double-yoke situation) and fraternal twins occur when two eggs are fertilized at the same time – all chickens from a single clutch could be considered fraternal twins.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 January 29
      eeyore19 permalink

      What about conjoined and parasitic twins? That makes four types of twins.

      Adores: 0
  28. 2009 September 17
    Sara permalink

    Two chickens can be born from the same egg! You’ve never gotten an egg with two yolks? That would have turned into two baby chickens. If you buy the xxl eggs, your chances of getting a double-yolk are way higher than with the large eggs (eggs have sizes if you didn’t know lol).

    Adores: 0
  29. 2009 September 19

    This person totally donates to PETA.

    Adores: 0
  30. 2009 September 21
    Mesila permalink

    Anthropomorphic much?

    Can anyone honestly imagine anyone paying a dollar, much less thirty six of them, for a heart-rending, emotionally-overwrought love story about farm fowl?

    The title really should’ve been “Caca-Doodle-Doo”.

    Adores: 3
  31. 2009 October 1
    Ali permalink

    Um… excuse me, but isn’t the fact that this book contains “over 20 actual photographs” worth mentioning? Awesome.

    Adores: 1
  32. 2010 January 11
    Chelsea permalink

    Sorry if somebody already pointed this out, but my favorite part is at the bottom of the cover, where it says that it’s the AUTOBIOGRAPHY of a rooster, written by (I’m assuming) a human. I believe that would be called a “biography,” no?

    Adores: 1
  33. 2010 January 17
    bradlea permalink

    this is, grammatically speaking, one of the best posts on here. i can’t believe the one person on craigslist with a basic command of the english language is using to to write about roosters.
    oh, wait, yes i can.

    Adores: 0
  34. 2010 October 20

    For those of you wondering if it’s possible to have twin chickens — two chickens hatched from the same egg — check this out!

    http://sweetmissdaisy.typepad.com/sassy_sweet_notes/2008/11/twin-chickens.html

    :)

    Adores: 0
  35. 2010 November 21
    loopygrrl8 permalink

    Does this mean that “Click. Clack, Moo: Cows that Type” could be a true story?

    Adores: 2

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