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YSaC, Vol. 363: The rooster is a man, baby.

Written by

drmk

in

Love To Read True Books About Animals! Then This Is The Book For You! – $36

Displayed At The Bottom Of This Page You Will See The Book’s Front Cover.

View the first 15 pages of this book? Click this link provided to view and order this amazing book. Delivery is 5 – 10 days. >> [link deleted]

$1.00 of every book sold will be donated to the FeatherFoot farm.

Enjoy reading true stories of pets and animals, then you will enjoy reading the true life story about these twin brothers, two rooster who grew-up together as brothers, who’s love only got stronger for each other, this love and devotion would take the brothers on a incredible journey, a journey that would test the brothers love, bravery and strength within as they come to face the days ahead. Find out what happens. It will touch your heart.

Title of book: The True Life Story Of FeatherFoot
The Tail Of An Unforgettable Brother’s Bond, Bravery And Death.

A heart-warming story that will take you on an incredible journey, a look into the lives of two amazing roosters, twin brothers that will make you see chickens in a different light. Read the incredible life journey that these two amazing roosters had.

Enjoy reading or please pass this book on to a friend and share the story about Cleo and Leo FeatherFoot (free-range chickens) who developed such an incredible strong bond for each other. Their bond gave them courage to stand together face to face against nature’s worst predators no matter what their fate would be. Learn what happen to each brother. It just may shock you.

Discover what happened to the brothers when one of the hardest hit rainstorms hit Maple Ridge. Is their bond strong enough to keep them together, will they survive or perish?

Book contains over 20 actual photographs of the FeatherFoot brother’s life on the farm. The owners of Cleo and Leo FeatherFoot have provided all photographs.

Price
Hardcover, Dust Jacket $35.95
Hardcover, ImageWrap $38.95

363

I’d just like to point out that this person has a book out. I don’t have a book out. How come this person has a book deal and I don’t? I know how to use apostrophes. That should be worth something, right? More importantly, I’m not writing about roosters. Is there really a big market out there for poorly written and punctuated books about roosters? Because if I’m missing that lucrative market, I can certainly come up with something. I’ll just flail randomly at the keyboard and I’ll have a craptacular book about roosters written in no time.

On a more serious note — how can roosters be twin brothers? Were they both hatched from the same egg? I’m pretty sure that’s scientifically impossible. As is the fact that this person has a published book out and that anyone will be willing to spend $36 for it. Not that I’m bitter or obsessing over that or anything.

BTW, Cleo dies. He was trampled by sheep or something. It’s not quite the same order of spoiler as “Soylent green is people” or “He was dead all along”, is it? But I saved you $36. You can thank me later.

Thanks for the submission, Lesley!

Comments

89 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 363: The rooster is a man, baby.”

  1. Kitten Avatar
    Kitten

    I’d just like to point out that this person has a book out. I don’t have a book out. How come this person has a book deal and I don’t?

    Because you haven’t decided to use a vanity press. Although I’m pretty sure you already know that; I can’t imagine anyone believing that this Dawn Harris really has a book deal. You can have books printed on demand, too, if you want to pay Blurb for it.

    1. IvoryGirl Avatar
      IvoryGirl

      You’d be amazed at the volume of books in the marketplace that are the result of self-publishing. Most of these folks don’t have editors, and those that do are using “Spell Check” as their editor.

    2. Mental Mouse Avatar
      Mental Mouse

      The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with vanity presses — modern Print-On-Demand technology has actually made them affordable for normal people. But they shouldn’t represent themselves as a “real” publisher who can get your books into bookstores. (“Blurb.com”, described below, doesn’t make any such claim — Lulu.com is also well-known.)

      PublishAmerica, however, is such a scammer. Here’s an insider account of the “Atlanta Nights” sting that proved the point. Others to watch out for: Robert Fletcher’s stable (Writer’s Literary Agency, Strategic Book Publishing, and many other names — article has more links) and Author Solutions, Inc..

      The group Writer’s Beware has a lot of information about these and other scams.

      1. Moira Avatar
        Moira

        Writer is Beware?

        1. Addicted Reader Avatar
          Addicted Reader

          No, it’s a Beware belonging to the Writer.

  2. Spizzlefish Avatar
    Spizzlefish

    Okay, I should preface this by saying that I’m an editor, so perhaps egregious errors in print bug me way more than they should, but ohmydearsweetlord, the subtitle. Really? The TAIL? I want to believe it’s a play on words–I really, really do–but I used up all my suspension of disbelief in buying into “Dawn Harris” being FeatherFoot’s secret identity. You know, ’cause she’s the author of his autobiography and all.

  3. kt Avatar
    kt

    HUH?!?! The “autobiography”??? its a miracle that chicken can write, i don’t know if we should knock on him for lack of grammatical cohesion!

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      A friend of mine told me a story recently about her days as a substitute teacher. She once met another substitute teacher who was frustrated because she couldn’t get the students in her class to understand the difference between a biography and an autobiography.

      That being, of course, that “an autobiography is written by one person” and a biography is written by more than one person.

      Probably two. Hence the prefix “bi-.”

      Now don’t you feel silly?

      1. Maureen Avatar
        Maureen

        I fear for the world. Hopefully this idiot never subbed for the same class long enough to be much of an influence.

      2. araispoetry Avatar
        araispoetry

        I thought an autobiography you wrote about yourself, hence the prefix auto- ? Autobiography has bi- in it as well…

        1. D / DM Avatar
          D / DM

          Correct, correct. Now read again, and look for the “funny ’cause it’s true” effect.

      3. HazelBitten Avatar
        HazelBitten

        I was mostly impressed that it was an “Autobiography of Featherfoot by Dawn Harris“.
        As clearly and unambiguously stated below that stirring picture of a creature that can be knocked unconscious by holding it upside down for 90 seconds.

  4. Ren Avatar
    Ren

    I’m more amazed that this is an autobiography. An autobiography about the “tail” of an unforgettable rooster.

    You can get away with bad grammar and spelling if you’re a rooster with a typewriter.

    1. Spizzlefish Avatar
      Spizzlefish

      That’s true–it must be hard to hold down the shift key when you’re typing with your beak…I withdraw my criticism. Rock on with your bad chicken self, FeatherFoot!

      1. Lola Avatar
        Lola

        Excuse me for a moment …
        *wipes laugh-projected coffee from computer screen*
        Thank you.

      2. Hiyame Avatar
        Hiyame

        “Rock on with your bad chicken self, FeatherFoot” is now on my list of all time favorite things I’ve read on the internet, along with someone else’s “I laughed so hard my cat left the room”. I love this blog!

      3. Mesila Avatar
        Mesila

        FeatherFoot. The chicken’s name is Feather Foot. Something seems off here…You’ d think that in spite of the bad English and the ridiculous anthropomorphics, at least this particular budding writer would know something about chickens…right?

        Now I am not a farm girl–I’ve lived a third of my life in the burbs and the rest in a Major Metropolitan Area, so maybe my familiarity with farm fowl is a tad bit limited. But I do seem to recall that chickens’ feet DO NOT HAVE ANY FEATHERS. It’s the rest of a chicken that has the feathers on it. The feet of a rooster are bare hard claws.
        Somehow, this incongruency is the funniest part of the whole thing for me.

        1. Holly Avatar
          Holly

          There are actually some breeds of chicken that have feathers on their feet. Sorry to ruin what you thought was the funniest part. And not to nit-pick, but the farm is Feather Foot Farm. The roosters are Cleo and Leo. Also- it is possible to get two chicks from one egg- double yolked eggs will have twins in them. Hence the expression “Don’t count your eggs before they are hatched.” If you’re going to make fun of someone else’s post at least do some research first.

        2. arallyn Avatar
          arallyn

          Holly-Sure, some chickens have feathered feet, but that rooster clearly does NOT. Look at the picture. And the “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched” has nothing to do with egg yolks. It’s a tale by Aesop. Go look it up. If you’re going to make fun of someone else, at least do some research first.

    2. jackie31337 Avatar
      jackie31337

      “You can get away with bad grammar and spelling if you’re a rooster with a typewriter.”

      OMG, I need this on a tee shirt!

      1. Colleen in MA Avatar
        Colleen in MA

        Me too! drmk, perhaps you should start a CafePress store with some of the weird and wacky phrases on this site!

        Also, I work in publishing and can attest to the fact that you do not need good punctuation and spelling skills to get a book deal. That’s what underpaid associate editors are for.

        This was probably published using a vanity press, as suggested by Kitten above. Anyone can publish using a vanity press, but then they have to be their own copy editor, proofreader, designer, marketer, publicist, production manager, and distributor. Good luck with all that!

        1. drmk Avatar
          drmk

          In the works — and I’ll add this to the list.

        2. Kitten Avatar
          Kitten

          Oh, it was definitely published with a vanity press. I checked to make sure that it was before I posted my original comment. You can find the page for this book here on the Blurb site.

          I think “Rock on with your bad chicken self” would also be rather awesome on a T-shirt.

        3. Spizzlefish Avatar
          Spizzlefish

          Now all we need is some clip-art of a chicken with a guitar, and we’re good to go!

        4. Buster Poindexter Avatar
          Buster Poindexter

          Don’t forget the typewriter, too, in that clipart.

        5. antoinette jeanine Avatar
          antoinette jeanine

          “That’s what underpaid associate editors are for.”

          That’s me! That’s me!
          I work at a University press, and I can fully attest that even the smartest people in the humanities are usually incapable of self-editing. So to expect the same of a creature only a few evolutionary rungs up from a velociraptor can only result in disappointment.

        6. Mesila Avatar
          Mesila

          Somehow, this ad and the one from the Foodpeeple guy (with the “CHICKENWATER” cans that he’ll fill up) could end up on the same T-shirt design…with possibly amusing results.

        7. Nicole Avatar
          Nicole

          Now, it would only be awesome if the chicken was rocking out with his black guitar. And only if it was SO BLACK it faded into the shirt and couldn’t be seen.

  5. Nicole Avatar
    Nicole

    Autobiography?! Must be difficult to type with those chicken feet…

    On a side note, I cracked an egg just last week that had twin (unfertilized) yolks … so it must be possible to have twin chickens/roosters… right?

    1. jackie31337 Avatar
      jackie31337

      Most chickens type using the hunt-and-peck method.

      1. Buster Poindexter Avatar
        Buster Poindexter

        Win!

      2. Pianodan Avatar
        Pianodan

        Off with your head.

      3. drmk Avatar
        drmk

        Oh god, why didn’t I think of that???

  6. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    I had a autobyography–
    but I eated it.

  7. anon Avatar
    anon

    You can get double yolked eggs, but the egg’s not big enough for both of them and they’ll die around day 10 or so.

    Kudos to the “hunt and peck” comment… FTW

  8. Galadriel Avatar
    Galadriel

    Since when is Cleo a boy’s name?

    1. PrincessLuceval Avatar
      PrincessLuceval

      Since it rhymed with Leo? Maybe that will be the spellbinding sequel: “Cleo The Rooster: I’m Actually A Hen.”

    2. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      Maybe since Cleo Fields.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleo_Fields

  9. Kay Avatar
    Kay

    If it’s an autobiography, don’t you think the “rooster” would know that a “rooster” and a “chicken” are different, and thusly the terms cannot be accurately used interchangeably?

    1. Buster Poindexter Avatar
      Buster Poindexter

      A rooster is always a chicken, but a chicken isn’t always a rooster. Tautology on craigslist, them’s lernin’!

  10. dogfacee Avatar
    dogfacee

    Soooo, does this person expect to donate a grand total of $1 to this Featherfoot farm? ‘Cuz I don’t see anyone but Dawn Harris’ mom actually buying a copy.

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      Not true. Her best (strictly platonic) friend Glenn will buy one too, instead of the two bottles of whiskey he would have drunk alone in a dark room next weekend.

      And when he is finished with the book and still alone in a dark room next weekend, he will regret it.

      1. friend Avatar
        friend

        Lisa is this you??? from friend

        1. D / DM Avatar
          D / DM

          No, sorry. My name is Glenn.

  11. dogfacee Avatar
    dogfacee

    P.S.

    I Googled the title, and it seems that the author has posted this ad in about a thousand different cities’ Craigslists.

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Yup.

      1. dogface Avatar
        dogface

        P.P.S.

        I can’t spell my own pseudonym correctly. 😛

  12. Chicken Little Avatar
    Chicken Little

    A search on Google has a few sites where people claim to have hatched “double-yolkers.” They appear to be quite rare, as there often isn’t enough room in the shell (as mentioned above.) Anyway, the whole thing is just ridiculous. With a description written so poorly that I just want to poke out my eyes, why would I think the book would be any better? Even if it were well-written, it’s a bromance about chickens. Gah! People are nuts.

    1. Amaia Avatar
      Amaia

      I’m so glad we’ve cleared that up. Perhaps we can do the same with the punctuation issues. For example, the missing/misplaced apostrophes are intentional (it’s only a singular “brother” because the shocking twist is that he has dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder? “who” is a character in the book?), and the exclamation points are just really straight question marks. Yes? No? Okay, I tried to help, but I give up.

  13. Olson Avatar
    Olson

    If the brothers stood “face to face against nature’s worst predators” it would not surprise me at all to find them dead by the end of the book. You can’t defend yourself standing face to face…..gah! lol

    1. Maureen Avatar
      Maureen

      I now want to invent a martial art in which a team of two fighters takes on opponents while staring into each other’s eyes in a zen-like fashion.

      1. araispoetry Avatar
        araispoetry

        sounds erotic…

    2. isaac Avatar
      isaac

      I want to see these two roosters take on a great white shark, a kodiak bear, and a Bengal tiger. Maybe also a velociraptor or two.

  14. Jill Avatar
    Jill

    Can someone with an extra $36 and a lot of time buy this book, edit it, and send it back to Dawn?

  15. horriblelicenseplates Avatar
    horriblelicenseplates

    cock fight?

  16. suedoenyhm Avatar
    suedoenyhm

    I’m glad I’m not the only person who looked this stuff up on the internet!

  17. bonni Avatar
    bonni

    Bookstore employees receive many, many [unsolicited] self-publishing promotional email messages. The messages are all horrible. Some are more horrible than others. I have a file somewhere of five years’ worth of the worst. (Sample book title: “Justice Is Blind — AND HER DOG JUST PEED IN MY CORNFLAKES.”) Oh god, and the closer it was to Christmas, the worse the books were. drmk, I hereby threaten to dig out the file someday and mail it to you.

    1. Leigh Avatar
      Leigh

      I can only imagine. You have to send it!

    2. hab Avatar
      hab

      Ummm, “Justice is Blind – and her dog just peed in my Cornflakes” was a commercial (Habour Publishing) humour release. You can find it here:
      http://www.harbourpublishing.com/title/JusticeisBlindandHerDogJustPeedinMyCornflakes

  18. christina Avatar
    christina

    You know there is also Publish America who pays you ($1 retainer) and they will publish just about anything. You have the option of having their staff edit the work or doing it youself to get the book out quicker. I published a book of poetry through them in 2005. I’ve made about $18 so far. But then again, I did absolutely no promotion for it.

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      PA will publish ABSOLUTELY anything.

      Those of you who don’t know about PublishAmerica, google “Atlanta Nights.” If you’re lazy, read this:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlanta_Nights

      …but to see how truly wonderful it is, you need excerpts.

      This is not to say that everything PA has printed has been rubbish–some good (but naive) writers have gone to them. They just have no standards at all.

      1. christina Avatar
        christina

        I agree, I never said my poetry was good 🙂
        But honestly, it beats a vanity press if you just want to publish something that you really don’t think is going to propel you to literary stardom.

        1. D / DM Avatar
          D / DM

          Well, I didn’t say your poetry WASN’T any good. I haven’t read any of it. I’ve written some poems myself, most of which are crap, but I’m proud of some. But my tastes in poetry are probably different from most people’s. So I wouldn’t presume I could be a fair judge of the quality of your work even if I did read it.

          All I meant was that for PublishAmerica, it makes no difference if you are the next Mark Twain or the next Jim Theis.

    2. bonni Avatar
      bonni

      No judgments passed on christina’s poetry. (I can gar-on-TEE you that whatever it is, it’s better than my poetry.) And, really, there’s enough material done through them that SOME of it has got to be OK or semidecent. So I have no issues with christina, especially since she is nice and actually literate!!

      But I will say that our bookshop’s affectionate nickname for the company was “Punish America.” 😀 (I had almost forgotten about that one . . . thank you . . .)

  19. kristen55 Avatar
    kristen55

    Since we raise chickens, I got a particular laugh out of this one. My rooster also had an exciting and adventurous life, until it came to a dramatic end. He was delicious 😉 That’s it, I’m writing a book too!

  20. LauraB. Avatar
    LauraB.

    If this is the story of “twin brothers,” why is there only one rooster on the cover? If their bond is so strong, you’d think they’d insist they both be pictured!

    1. PrincessLuceval Avatar
      PrincessLuceval

      Well, since they’re twins, they figure you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the other.

      1. Equa Yona Avatar
        Equa Yona

        “If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amahl”.

  21. Alexander K. Avatar
    Alexander K.

    Hmm, I actually kind of want to read this book. But I have a rather strange sentimental attitude towards chickens and turkeys. That said, I’m certainly not going to shell out 35 bucks.

    1. araispoetry Avatar
      araispoetry

      I hope the “shell” was an intentional pun 🙂

  22. candace Avatar
    candace

    Just from the title, I don’t need to read the book to know what happens…
    “The Tail Of An Unforgettable Brother’s Bond, Bravery And Death” = They were born, they cuddled or something, and then they got eaten by a coyote.

    Well that was fun!

  23. RequiredName Avatar
    RequiredName

    If I buy a copy of this book, will all the commenters on this site get together and annotate it for me? It would then be pretty much the funniest book ever.

    1. jackie31337 Avatar
      jackie31337

      Yes! We should do that. That way we all get to read it (along with the previous reader’s snarky comments).

    2. Nicole Avatar
      Nicole

      Oh, goodness. We could just mail it from household to household and once we’d all had out turn to smack the crap out of the “author,” we could send it back to her…or frame it and allow her to put it on the wall in her psychiatric ward.

  24. Nicholas Avatar
    Nicholas

    I like how spiritual these roosters are. Although predators and storms are mentioned, it seems the roosters are on a Zen-like quest as much as a physical one: their love sends them on a journey that tests their love and strength within. My question, does a powerful love always have to test itself? Do these tests lead to rooster enlightenment?

  25. Adelle Avatar
    Adelle

    First, I really really REALLY want to read this book (even though the ad alone hurts me to read) because I collect chickens, and I want to read what happens to the rooster brother’s (sic) and that is a very pretty chicken on the front cover of the book.

    second, I WILL find a way to get a t-shirt that says “Rock on with your bad chicken self” I will do this thing. And I will take a picture, and I will post it here.

    amen, praise the Lord, and Hallelujah. A bad chicken t-shirt. yes.

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      We’re working on the t-shirt, I promise!

  26. Jessica Avatar
    Jessica

    My favourite part is that this is an autobiography.

  27. It makes me feel intelligent « spontaneity|anonymous

    […] the person who is selling a new kind of surf-training tool (a.k.a. an ironing board?). Or maybe a touching true story about twin roosters is more your thing. Acrobatic midgets, maybe? Oh, how about non-creepy men looking to pay models in […]

  28. Interestingly_Average Avatar
    Interestingly_Average

    Just had to mention this since it appears no one else did. There are two types of twins, fraternal and identical. Identical twins occur when a single egg splits into two embryos after fertilization (the apparently extremely rare double-yoke situation) and fraternal twins occur when two eggs are fertilized at the same time – all chickens from a single clutch could be considered fraternal twins.

    1. eeyore19 Avatar
      eeyore19

      What about conjoined and parasitic twins? That makes four types of twins.

  29. Sara Avatar
    Sara

    Two chickens can be born from the same egg! You’ve never gotten an egg with two yolks? That would have turned into two baby chickens. If you buy the xxl eggs, your chances of getting a double-yolk are way higher than with the large eggs (eggs have sizes if you didn’t know lol).

  30. Meredith Avatar
    Meredith

    This person totally donates to PETA.

  31. Mesila Avatar
    Mesila

    Anthropomorphic much?

    Can anyone honestly imagine anyone paying a dollar, much less thirty six of them, for a heart-rending, emotionally-overwrought love story about farm fowl?

    The title really should’ve been “Caca-Doodle-Doo”.

  32. Ali Avatar
    Ali

    Um… excuse me, but isn’t the fact that this book contains “over 20 actual photographs” worth mentioning? Awesome.

  33. Chelsea Avatar
    Chelsea

    Sorry if somebody already pointed this out, but my favorite part is at the bottom of the cover, where it says that it’s the AUTOBIOGRAPHY of a rooster, written by (I’m assuming) a human. I believe that would be called a “biography,” no?

  34. bradlea Avatar
    bradlea

    this is, grammatically speaking, one of the best posts on here. i can’t believe the one person on craigslist with a basic command of the english language is using to to write about roosters.
    oh, wait, yes i can.

  35. SweetMissDaisy Avatar
    SweetMissDaisy

    For those of you wondering if it’s possible to have twin chickens — two chickens hatched from the same egg — check this out!

    http://sweetmissdaisy.typepad.com/sassy_sweet_notes/2008/11/twin-chickens.html

    🙂

  36. loopygrrl8 Avatar
    loopygrrl8

    Does this mean that “Click. Clack, Moo: Cows that Type” could be a true story?

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