Tag: no accounting for taste

  • YSaC, Vol. 243: Burning crosses are not warm and fuzzy.

    Warm your heart and soothe your soul – $25


    243b

    Kira sends this in, saying, “Yikes, because nothing says heartwarming like the KKK riding off into the sunset….”

    Is it just me, or does it look like they’re riding alpacas? Or maybe tauntauns?

    I’ve blurred the phone number and link to the artist’s home page, because after looking at the other works displayed there, I honestly don’t think that “Early Racist Art” was quite the genre s/he was going for — although I can’t figure out what it would be otherwise! Any ideas?

  • YSaC, Vol. 226: Don’t cry, emo boy.

    Happy HOUSE is Coolest Place! Handyman Hippie or Party Animal WELCOME!


    House has basement, fenced yard, half bath in basement and full bath upstairs, possibility of making two apartments in the house if done right, with shared kitchen. WOW! WHERE ELSE can you be yourself? Most “landlords” or roomrenters require you to be well behaved, no noise, no pets, no parties, no fun, right? NOT ME! I’m sick of the bullsh*t, aren’t you? Read carefully, and I’ll explain. I’m a liberal libertarian type. I fix up places and HELP people who are likeminded, who have been abused by the SYSTEM for just being a social outcast, rude crude and socially unacceptable! YOU ARE WELCOME here! You must be HONE$T, a HANDY person (because house needs fixed up) and able to pay your share MOSTLY on time ( I am understanding when SH*T happens ). Just DON’T try to play me for a fool! YOU will agree to fix the place up, paint the insides ANY COLOR you like (except black or dark, no Goths accepted, sorry!), put up sheet rock or paneling or whatever you like, but FIX IT UP nicely, (use cheap or surplus materials to save) and you will also pay at least $300 to $450 a month, depending on HOW MUCH WORK and MATERIALS you have put into the place. I HOPE it’s fixed up enough where you only pay $300 a month, because I HATE high “rents”! I don’t want someone who pays $500 a month and does nothing to improve the place. Nice big fenced yard, basement, and NO NEIGHBORS to the right or left for a LONG WAY, and COOL neighbors across the street! SO this means Privacy, Parties, and FUN to the right FRIEND who wants to start something COOL! WANT to plant a veggie garden this spring? COOL! (I want some!) Want to throw a party (and sometimes invite Me?) COOL! Want to play music LOUD? Go ahead, sometimes the neighbors and I do! Have a dozen of your friends over for a BBQ! Have two dogs in the backyard, or in the house! I don’t care, as long as you clean up your (and your pet’s) messes! NO Rednecks, or Crybabies or if you didn’t vote for Obama, DON’T apply! All other COOL people can write me, the coolest person with the coolest ideas and best written reply AND you have at least $500-$600 cash to throw in (first/last months), may win! House is for sale as well, ($10K cash asis) but I don’t know when it will sell, and I may decide to keep it if you’re cool enough and you may be able to lease to own or something after 6 months of good sharing!
    I ALSO have another LARGE building to rehab with at least 6 apartments in it, so I am taking replies for that as well. (Same kind of deal per apartment).
    The apt. building is for sale too, but at least $50-75K is needed on that place. (open to offers and possibilities). Email me and tell me what you wish an owner would LET you do, and something about who you are, and who knows, you just might win! Peace Out, brothers and sisters!

    You know what amuses me the most about this? That this guy will consider “renting” his house to people who are social outcasts, rude, crude, and socially unacceptable, but won’t consider renting to Goths. In fact, Goths get thrown into the same “uncool” category as rednecks, crybabies and conservatives.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXCVI

    Wanted Raccoon meat


    I want to buy a couple of dressed raccoon carcasses for a outdoors banquet. call Don xxx.xxx.xxxx

    I’ve never been so happy to not be invited to something in my entire life. You see, this ad comes from a state that has recently been (and was currently, at the time this was posted) experiencing high temperatures of something like minus eleventy. An “outdoor banquet” doesn’t sound particularly appealing, much less one involving raccoon carcasses. In the meantime, there’s always this. Sure, you can’t eat it, but it would look nice and fluufy on the table!

    Submitted by MF — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXVII

    Tahiti Sam Parrot Statue – $200


    Tahiti Sam is about 2 feet tall and looks like he belongs in the enchanted Tiki room at Disneyland. He’s very authentic looking and in very good shape. He would be great to set up in your Tahitian style bar or patio. Very tropical looking. He weighs around 20lbs.

    Sorry, I just redecorated in early tropical monkey, and this would just clash. Unless it sings Jimmy Buffett songs on an endless loop, in which case it would be really, really cool.* Like the Billy Big Mouth Bass.

    *By “cool”, I mean “annoying”.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXV

    FREE PIGGY BANKS


    free handmade piggy banks made by [name].

    if you would like to pick them up, call me and ill give you directions.
    my phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.

    175

    In related news, there was an incident at the Make-Your-Own-Pottery place yesterday, in which twenty second graders on a school field trip had to leave before they had finished making spoon holders for their mothers. Authorities said something about a “creepy old guy” who was scaring the children.

    (Is it wrong that the more I look at these, I kind of like them?)

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLIX (no, really, that’s what 149 is!)

    ELEGANT FURNITURE 🙂 MUST SEE – $550


    MOVING SALE, BEAUTIFUL FURNITURE EXCELENT NEW CONDITION.

    LIVING ROOM SET $450.00 OBO
    DINNING ROOM SET INCLUDES 4 CHAIRS AND 2 BAR STOOLS $600.00 OBO

    CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, SERIOUS INQUIRES PLEASE. THANKS

    This one has it all … misspellings (including my beloved “dinningroom!), a price in the title that doesn’t correspond to anything in the listing … and for a bonus, a random baby picture in the listing. (Maybe the baby is actually going for $550?)

    And don’t get me started on the “beautiful” and “elegant” descriptors applied to the furniture. The people who buy those kinds of sofas are also the ones who worry about whether the art on their walls matches the sofas and the carpet, and then the whole room ends up very, very beige. These photos are Exhibit A. There isn’t a single real color in there. That poor child is going to grow up thinking that he’s profoundly colorblind.

    That’s not beautiful OR elegant. It makes me want to run amok armed with paint rollers in multiple bright, saturated colors.

    In the meantime, folks, don’t sell your baby on Craigslist, mmmkay?