You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: wtf?

  • YSaC, Vol. 292: It doesn’t stop everyone else!

    $250 i need a room (agri center)

    seeking a room around $250/month near Agricenter. i guess i wouldn’t want to say more than that or, craigslist informs, one will be legally persecuted, lose their job, and be fined 10,000 dollars. yet, maybe i am doomed by saying that i am “seeking” a room, or that it is “$250”, or that it is “near Agricenter”. i can but pray that the FBI doesn’t pick up on this one.

    Here’s craigslist’s policy on discriminatory preference in a housing post — this is what you see when you begin to create a housing wanted or housing available posting:

    Stating a discriminatory preference in a housing post is illegal, is prohibited on craigslist, and can be expensive:

    • you can be fined more than $10,000 for each discriminatory ad, plus damages in court, plus loss of license if you are a professional
    • avoid phrases which could be interpreted as discriminating by race/color/origin (e.g. ‘hispanic area‘), religion (e.g. ‘christian home‘), age / familial status (e.g. ‘no kids‘), disability, or sexual orientation
    • the words you choose can cost you – get the facts and avoid being prosecuted under fair housing law

    This one makes me wonder if “seeking a room” is a euphemism for “I won’t live with minorities or homosexuals” and “near Agricenter” means “I’ll only live in a white neighborhood”. The fact that he has to bring up the policy says to me that he does have some preferences but doesn’t feel as though he can list them for fear of being ‘persecuted’.

    Otherwise, it just seems like this guy is either a smartass or a little too paranoid.

    Thanks, Lesley!

  • YSaC, Vol. 291: No, seriously. What. The. Hell.

    This post contains eight incredibly bizarre pictures of a NSFW coffee table. No, really. You have been warned.
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  • YSaC, Vol. 290: It gets a 6.5 from the Romanian judge.

    These two entries are both from the same metropolitan area:

    student wants to learn doggi style

    I want to learn to do doggies with style…..and perhaps photography

    My desperate hope that this was someone asking for instruction on pet grooming were dashed when I realized that this post came from the “Adult Gigs” section.

    As does this:

    private lap dancers wanted

    big breast and boobs a plus no exp. nessacary

    This guy’s demanding — he wants a big breast AND boobs. I’m no slouch in the boobs department, but I don’t also have a big breast, so I guess I’m out. If the boobs don’t have to be big, we could set him up with these boobs. That might teach him to be a little more specific.

    Thanks, oliveees, for ruining my faith in humanity just a little bit more.

  • YSaC, Vol. 279: I can has vampire?

    Searching for a vampire – m4m

    So I’m in desperate search of a vampire. Its been 19 long years and through all my effort to find one, you all still seem to evade me. Though I’m truly not surprised at all. I mean I know that you guys generally don’t associate with humans and view us rather as prey, but I had hoped that I would have ran into at least one of you by now. Guess, If you guys don’t want to be found you wont. I’m particularly sure that my search was unsuccessful because I manly searched in the day and lord knows you guys hate the sun. I would have searched at night but I have to sleep and I think I would like rather suspicious roaming dark alleys,tunnel ways,and god knows what other sources that hold the dark well at 3am. So I think this is my last resort. If your a vampire please,please contact me! Male or female is fine.
    I no longer wish to be a pathetic human. I want to become a child of the night. I know the transition of going from human to vampire can be rather difficult. From being bite, dying, reawakening as a child of the darkness,getting used to your fangs, so on and so fourth. But I’m very willing to go through it all to shed this pathetic existence as a mortal. I’m willing to leave my family,friends,and old life behind to become one of you. I’m thinking that perhaps you can bite me in my house, and while I’m passed out, put my body in the shower and turn it on. Maybe that way it will look like I slipped,fell,and died. Then call 911 and alert the police.(Your a vampire so its not like any human will be able to trace the call back to you,let alone find you). They take my body to the morgue,put me in the fridge,have my funeral a few days later and you come that night and dig me back up. Hopefully I should be awake by then.(How long does it take for the whole vampire process to be complete. Is it instantaneous?) I figure a proper funeral will give my family some closure,rather than me just disappearing.
    I also don’t have a lot of money,so I’m probably going to have to take my coffin with me, so I’ll have somewhere to sleep in the day(unless we just wonder from place to place). I figure a good source of payment for having to go through all of this will be you biting me and having a free meal of my blood. I really would like to follow you for a few months so I can get the do’s and dont’s of our lifestyle. I’ve heard its hard out there for a new vampire on his own. So If you think you are able to help me out please contact me. I’m sure you can find me no problem.

    P.S- If you turn into a bat to get into my house,please fly upstairs and into the room on the left and just hang on the wall till I get home. Nobody goes in there and MAKE SURE ITS THE ROOM ON THE LEFT! If my aunt sees you, she will literally have a heart attack and hit you with a broom.

    Yep, the whole “having to sleep” thing really puts a crimp in your vampire-searching style, doesn’t it?

    I think the worst part about becoming a vampire would be the “getting used to your fangs” part. I mean, you’d be biting your own lip all the time, and you’d have to wait for the calluses to build up on your cheeks like when you get braces for the third time because you never wore your retainer.

    I wonder if vampires ever have to get braces to keep their fangs straight? There must be vampire orthodontists. Nothing would be worse than a vampire with an overbite.

    Unless it’s being a vampire and being hit with a broom. Thank goodness our poster thought of that contingency and warned against it. It’s the ROOM ON THE LEFT, for heaven’s sake!

    I think someone’s been reading a little too much of the Twilight series. Here’s something I don’t get — how come Buffy never shows up in the Twilight series? I mean, she’s a vampire slayer, right? SHE’S SUPPOSED TO SLAY VAMPIRES. What, just because Willow has a new gig, she’s not fighting evil anymore? … Or maybe Neil Patrick Harris is really a vampire, and Willow is just biding her time until she can slay him. Okay, that makes sense.

    Well, about as much sense as this Craigslist post, anyway.

    Sent in by “Nuclear Mosquito” (speaking of vampires …) — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. 274: Plagiarism FTW.

    This is behind a cut because it’s long. Very long. Remember the last time I said that? Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

    another year older today URRRGG!! read on if you dare to laugh!! – 37

    i have posted here a few times before just having fun, please read below and tell me what you think ? ohhh and drinks on me loljust your dorky/nerdy/goober next door neighbor washing his truck in the drive way waving at you as you walk down the street…lol ( and thinking…”yummy” ) lol
    and the next day in the row ahead of you in church farting and blaming the next guy laughing….

    really, i do work hard, yet play hard..own a business that keeps me hoping yet am flexible being the owner…love to meet new people and know no stangers…all walks of life may contact me , im here to meet people, just like you !!!!! so hit me up…

    can you answr my riddles ? for brownie points !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Q.What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
    answer :”??

    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    anser ??????

    Q –What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

    Answer?

    ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okkokooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………ok

    hope you like my below list i cam up with to show you a lil about who i am and also in hopes to make you laugh a lil bit…you should be open minded

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  • YSaC, Vol. 269: Why can’t I sell my car? (Parts A and B) …

    You gotta work for this one a little bit, like the covergirl you are …

    89 honda civix – $1000

    good running car call 682-53-xxxx

    Okay, the x is right next to the c on the keyboard. That’s a small mistake. There were, as far as I can tell from the Kelley Blue Book, eleven models of Civics manufactured in 1989 (and no models of Civix), so the lack of detail about which one is for sale here is somewhat of a problem. Not to mention that there’s no mention of trim packages, transmission, air conditioning, mileage, accident history, etc. Again, somewhat of an impediment to selling the car.

    But the biggest problem is that this person appears to have posted his social security number instead of his phone number. I re-checked the ad a couple of days later, and it was still like that. Sigh.

    [Yes, I’m aware they probably just missed a digit of the phone number. It still doesn’t help people who want to call about the car, does it? I can type those nine numbers into my Team Mobile phone all I want to, but it’s not going to accomplish anything other than irritating Catherine Zeta-Jones. On second thought, that might be worth it.]

    Even when people DO post the right details, there can still be problems:
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