YSaC, Vol. 290: It gets a 6.5 from the Romanian judge.

2009 May 3

These two entries are both from the same metropolitan area:

student wants to learn doggi style

I want to learn to do doggies with style…..and perhaps photography

My desperate hope that this was someone asking for instruction on pet grooming were dashed when I realized that this post came from the “Adult Gigs” section.

As does this:

private lap dancers wanted

big breast and boobs a plus no exp. nessacary

This guy’s demanding — he wants a big breast AND boobs. I’m no slouch in the boobs department, but I don’t also have a big breast, so I guess I’m out. If the boobs don’t have to be big, we could set him up with these boobs. That might teach him to be a little more specific.

Thanks, oliveees, for ruining my faith in humanity just a little bit more.

18 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 May 3
    dogface permalink

    Doing doggies with style? I think that’s illegal.

    Adores: 1
  2. 2009 May 3
    kristen55 permalink

    What’s with the photography? Was that just an afterthought? Like, Oh, I’d love to learn to do Judo….I sing to my cat! Damn ADD.

    Adores: 7
  3. 2009 May 3

    I prefer this lovely pair:


    Adores: 1
  4. 2009 May 3
    dogface permalink

    So, he only wants one big breast? And doesn’t specify how many boobs he wants (as long as it’s at least two)? Well, I have two big breasts, but I don’t think I’ll be willing to part with just one if he’s getting boobs also.

    Adores: 0
  5. 2009 May 4
    corn flakes permalink

    Re: doggi style
    1. he’s already on the internet, i’m pretty sure there are already plenty of photos for him already online. doggystyle.

    2. Maybe i’m a phenomenally fast learner, but i feel like that is a pretty simple thing to learn. it’s not the type of thing you really need to take a class for or anything.

    3.Maybe it’s 2 separate thoughts like “I would like to learn doggystyle. I also have an interest in learning photography but i’m too lazy to make 2 posts.

    Adores: 3
  6. 2011 August 20

    In response to ad 1, I don’t know how to do doggies with style, I’ve only met doggies who were slobs and I didn’t do them. In response to ad 2, I am sorry but I only do public lap dances.

    Adores: 4
  7. 2011 August 20

    Just a private dancer, a dancer for doggies, and any old camera will do.

    (It’s going to be a crowded Saturday in the corner.)

    Adores: 11
  8. 2011 August 20
    Windrose permalink

    I hate to correct the Llama-nun (MBBUH) but I proffer the theory that these sorts of ads come from those who have devolved back at least two steps from homo sapiens. I also think this is where David Brin got his idea for the Uplift books. From now on, I will think of Sparkies as glavers.

    On a more to the point note, these two need to get together. There’s so much Sparky II can teach Sparky I.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2011 August 20
    Windrose permalink

    *psst* I put the Llama-nun (MBBUH) in the box! Don’t tell anyone! Manda B, you are in there too. You can tell that part, though.

    Adores: 4
  10. 2011 August 20
    Lara permalink

    If Sparky 2 is not going to specify experience in lap dancing, perhaps we could send in a tap dancer to dance in his lap.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 20
      Is.A.Manx permalink

      probably too little too late, given sparki fecundity.

      Adores: 1
  11. 2011 August 20

    [Matt]This is discrimination against all the other reindeer!

    I demand he also allow Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph in his lap.

    Such games they play.[/Matt]

    Adores: 5
  12. 2011 August 20
    Is.A.Manx permalink

    We are not Amused by other cats.
    [get up; turn around; wash; turn the other way; wash; sit]

    We find doggi are Not! Right!
    [plops down; wash foot; flicks ear; bristles whiskers; sulks]

    Adores: 1
  13. 2011 August 20
    CoffDrop permalink

    I love surprise endings:

    Lap dancing

    You come into the room
    I’m sitting in the chair
    You’re up on me so quickly
    And we start this brief affair
    You twist and turn around
    In a contorted kind of way
    I really want to feel you
    But I can’t to my dismay
    You rub yourself against me
    I get a face full of your bum
    I’m not sure I can take this
    I think I may succumb
    I know I must not touch
    I know you aim to please
    But I’m allergic to bloody cats
    And you’ll make me flippin sneeze

    Adores: 5
  14. 2011 August 20

    Sex and a photograph?

    Bondage and a painting?

    Watersports and an etching?

    Orgy and a sculpture?

    Naw, nothing looks good.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2011 August 21
    Windrose permalink

    Would anyone like to take over punching just for tonight? *whistles nonchalantly*

    Adores: 0
  16. 2011 August 21
    CoffDrop permalink

    May I try?

    Llamanun (BBUH) – MandaB, this is gonna hurt you more than it will me.

    Punchity Punch Punch! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Oh crap! I had the die in upside down. Sorry…….

    G’Night Truth or Consequences, NM

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 21
      Windrose permalink

      Great job, Coffy! 8) Thanks

      Adores: 2

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