You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: unclear on the concept

  • YSaC, Vol. 338: Then again, my baby pictures ARE kind of embarrassing …

    Old photos and letters (home)

    Possablly free please since its for school and work. I need old photos for a project and i would take care of them. I mean old letters and photos from before 1980’s. I am hoping i can get for free and possablly keep if that be ok. If not i would give back. Please tell me in an email what you got and how many. and if you want them back or not. P.S.
    If you dont let me use them and possablly keep them for free i cant work with it sorry i dont have money to spend thats why i hope free please.
    P.S.
    Photos of the items in an email first so i see if it is usable. I need these so bad. My HS grade depends on them plus my college grade.

    A couple of things here:

    1. Since when did pre-1980s become OLD? [Now get the hell off my lawn, you damned kids.]
    2. How can both a high school grade AND a college grade depend on whether or not you can find someone to give you/loan you old photographs and letters? How can it be for school and work? What kind of project is this?
    3. How can someone possibly spell possibly as possablly? And possibly more important, how can that person possibly go to college?

    I can just see someone thinking to themselves, “You know, we don’t actually USE those letters that Grandpa wrote to Grandma while he was in the Army during the war … let’s let this nice kid have them for his project so he can pass high school and college.”

    Thanks to Martha — seriously, Martha, WHAT is wrong with people where you live?

  • YSaC, Vol. 336: Pay no attention to the pointsettia behind the curtain.

    My first test posting do not reply – $100

    This is only a test from me to me.

    333

    Um.

    Okay, then. Move along, nothing to see here.

    What’s even more strange is that this was originally posted on May 9th; as I’m writing this, it is May 29th. Once you’ve figured out how to post things on Craigslist, wouldn’t you maybe think about going back and deleting your test post? Maybe?

    Thanks for the submission, Krisha!

  • YSaC, Vol. 333: Database fail, parts 2 and 3.

    Get me hot and satisfied – w4m

    I’LL BE AT HOME ALONE TONIGHT AND WANT TO MEET YOU! I AM A VERY ATTRACTIVE YO LOOKING FOR SOME FUN. PLEASE, BE AT LEAST . MY YAHOO ID IS HZEYES.

    I love when Craigslist spam bots go horribly, hilariously wrong. Like this:

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 332: … in the octopus’s garden, on her leg …

    realscumbag rontatooman – $160

    im writing about aman ron who lives at 172lampman ave he took my money and left my tatoo undone on my back right leg my son had a tatoo don saturday he had to go to the hospital because he got a bad staph infection from it the docter had to put him on antibotic pill and a antibotic cream all so this man is a real scumbag and areal asshole to take advantage of a woman who lives on a fixed income if some one could call me at xxx xxx xxxx an make arrangemts to com tomy houseand finish it forme iwould liketo get acall all i have is theout lineof the octoupuss head and the tresserchest and astar fish inthe front he was goingto make it look like it was a underwater ocean seen i have the dolphin onthe in side of the rightleg and on theouterside there is a seen with asunset water palmtrees and ocean water and two dolphins one jumping over the other one i just need the octoupuss finished and all the tentekils puton colored with megenta and pink colors and the treasurechestdon and the scubadiver putonn so maby someone will call me but i would not recomend no to go to 172lampman ave and have eney work don by ron

    Ow. My brain hurts. Octoupuss? Tentekils? What is with the random lack of spaces between some words [theouterside], extra spaces within things that should be words [all so], and random spaces WITHIN words [theout lineof]?

    How many right legs does she have? Doesn’t saying you have a back right leg sort of imply that there’s a front right leg as well?

    And here’s a thought: Call me crazy, but maybe if you’re on a fixed income, you and your son shouldn’t be getting elaborate tattoos?

    [Edited to add: with spizzlefish’s prompting in the comments below, I realized that “rontatooman” anagrams to “or an ottoman“. Yes, I’m easily amused, why do you ask?]

    DW, thanks for the submission!

  • YSaC, Vol. 326: You should see her follicles.

    WANTED LIVE PORE TAPE – m4w – 40

    I AM LOOKING FOR LIVE PORE TAPES REAL WOMAN

    Katey sends this in, saying, “I knew my large pores would be appreciated someday!”

    Dude. You are On. The. Internet. You managed to press the right buttons (well, most of them) to post an ad on Craigslist. HOW CAN YOU NOT FIND YOUR OWN PORN? I mean, maybe spelling “porn” right would help, but still … I manage to find porn even when I’m NOT looking for it, and an hour or so later I have to close the window.

    Plus, this was in men seeking women. If he’s looking for a real woman in there, he’s screwed — they’re all bots and ads.

  • YSaC, Vol. 322: I think I’m turning Asianese, I really think so …

    asian or oriental tutor needed today

    This evening asap i need a asian or oreintal person to teach me the asian language. I pay $10 an hour. Send me your contact information and i will call you.

    Kaitlin says, “I can’t pick a favorite part: The poster’s need to clarify a difference between Asian and Oriental (or oreintal, I don’t know, maybe he pronounces it differently), needing to know THE asian language, needing to learn the language in ONE night, or pondering over what the poster could possibly need it for.”

    Chris also sent this one in, with a theory: he says, “Anything to book that Flower Drum Song audition, right?”

    I’m sure it will only take a few hours to master Asian. After all, something like eight billion people speak it — how hard could it be?