You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXVI

    “Stuffed” Raccoon Mantle Piece ? Taxidermy – $175

    Having trouble finding the gift for the person that has everything ? Meet Sparky ! He is a large stuffed Raccoon taxidermy, that has been a part of my family for a few years. He’s large, fluufy and oh so cute !! He loves to just lay around on the mantle or hang out on top of a gun cabinet. Great for that country decor and the man that has everything !!! xxxxxxx@yahoo.com xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Yep, there’s no better gift for the person who has everything than a “fluufy” raccoon named Sparky who, according to the poorly placed quotation marks, may or may not be stuffed.

    Actually, doesn’t Sparky look like he’s reaching down for the guns in the gun rack? He may just be pretending to be stuffed, and patiently moving a fraction of an inch a day until he can get his hands on the guns and ammo. Then Sparky will get his revenge.

    I mean, wouldn’t you, if you were a “stuffed” raccoon named Sparky that someone had a tendency to anthropomorphize?

    (Thanks to the submitter!)

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXV

    They just keep coming.

    Bedroom set – French Prudential – $400

    Antique off white with light blue trim includes headboard, huge mens chest, long bureau with two mirrors and nightstand. This set is very heavy and oversized. There is also another long bureau which does not belong to the set which is available for $50 which looks similar. xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Seriously. I’m going to start my own furniture style and call it the Norwegian Allstate style. (That came just after the Belgian Geico style, and just before the Spanish Metropolitan Life style.)

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXIV

    the table

    here is picture of table

    It’s the zen-like brevity that makes this. I hear the resonance of the universe in this post and in this table. I want to be one with the table. I want to drape myself across the table and join the table in its table-bliss.

    After all, it is THE table. It is the UR-table. It is the Platonic ideal of tableness. And all of this comes across in a mere seven words.

    I don’t even think the table is actually for sale. I think the table just wanted to share itself with the world.

    Submitted by CP — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXIII

    Parties Favors

    For Birthdays,Weddings,BABY SHOWERS,Batptism,Bacherlor parties ETC

    If ANY ONE INTERESTING
    CAN REACH :
    ( xxx )xxx – xxxx

    You can only call that number if you are interesting. Everyone who’s interesting, pick up the phone. … Not so fast, you!

    The Batptism ceremony is a little-known ceremony in which a young child is struck in the head by a whiffleball bat, thus signifying their entry into the early childhood torture system popularly known as “Little League”.

    I don’t think I want to know what kind of favors someone would order for a bachelor (or bacherlor) party, but I’m pretty sure it might involve hi dusting.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXII

    Large Brita – $7

    13 ¾ in. length, 7 ¾ in width, 8 ½ in height

    There isn’t really anything wrong with the listing, other than the fact that it was listed under furniture. I’m trying to imagine how one could use this as furniture. Any ideas?

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXI

    ****Nacho Cheese Fountain****

    Okay, wait. Stop right there. Does this really sound like a good idea to anyone? Those three words should NOT be strung together (in any order) under any circumstances I can think of.

    Let’s see how badly this is going to end …

    (more…)