You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: punctuationally challenged

  • YSaC, Vol. 1767: Tear me down

    Demo guys needed commercial

    Demo guys
    I’m looking for demo guys that kill themselves no posers I’m only looking for the 1% 0f guys that give you 10 hrs work in a 8 hr day this is what I need .Do not bullshit me you will be fired the first day
    I am looking for the guys that want to work not feed a habit if you cannot lift at least 80 lbs on a regular basis beat it I’m sick of guys that say they can work and bitch and moan fuck you my team works hard and is a close nit bunch If you talk to much this crew is not for you we don’t speak we work no fat guys no drugs no bullshit drama with I don’t have a ride don’t have a hard hat don’t have boots fuck off this is real world if you want it work for it good … it will not be handed to you this is the military type job if you think you got what it takes reply

    I think I see why you have such a high turnover problem here, Sparky McBossypants. If you keep hiring guys that kill themselves, that may be why they don’t last too long in your “close nit bunch.” Or they may just not like all the nits. Plus, you have to spend so much time picking the nits. Do I want the lime nit, or the grape nit? Picking is hard. I prefer military type jobs, where I just get told which nits I want to pick.

    Thanks for the ad, some guy!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1762: Fifteen miles on the Sparky canal

    Are you named Sal? Then we’ve got a snake for you!

    Snake for sall.!!!

    Hello I am selling my boa because I’m wanting to add more room for my ball python collection my snake is in very good health and eat every two weeks like a camp.!!!! He is a 7ft male “he is a proven breeder that’s is one of his hatchlings ” and Very Nice he has never struck or hissed at me or anyone else he was a class pet to show how gentle and nice he is.!!! Can come with a 75g or 30g tank. You can reach by texting ###-###-####

    “With offers or trades ”


    He eats every two weeks, like, a camp! A whole camp! Not just the kids, but the cabins, the canoes, and even those stupid plastic braided lanyard things! Sadly, he does not appear to eat extraneous quotation marks.

    Thanks for the post, Julie!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1760: Magic Bust

    kenmore. Elite Matching washer and dryer – $250


    They r brand new and need to sell girl Friends mom got Got one that she’s more room cuz the house is small a top on in the bottom one saw these ones are up for grabs 250. Ob offer thanks

    So you’re selling your girlfriend’s mom? Is that legal? Also, I’m not sure sawing a washer is really good for it. Or is this some sort of magic trick? Wait, I think I’ve seen that one: You push the washer/dryer together, put your girlfriend’s mom in so she’s sticking out of both sides, and then saw it in half. Yeah, that was pretty good. Not as good as making the Statue of Liberty disappear while it was inside a refrigerator, but waay better than escaping from the dishwasher while handcuffed.

    Thanks for the magic, sd!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1758: Like whining for chocolate

    Since Mackenzie sent our first two posts this week, let’s go for a trifecta: (That’s Latin for “three fectas”!)

    Searching For A Job Needing Help Without A Boss That…… (All Over)

    IM LOOKING FOR A JOB THAT IS IN NEED OF HELP. BUT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR WORK THAT HAS A BOSS WHO IS A TOTAL JACK-ASS HIPACRITE!!!!!!! A BOSS WHO ISNT A WHINER, CRY-BABY, OR A PUSSY BOSS, WHO QUIET FRANKLY ACTS LIKE A LITTLE BITCH, OR NEEDS AND WANTS MORE THAN A KID WANTING CHOCOLATE. IF YOU ARE A BOSS THAT FITS THIS SUBJECT THEN DO NOT REPLY. I DO TALK ON THE PHONE, TEXT, AND SMOKE. BUT I GET MY WORK AND TASKS DONE.

    This person meets ALMOST all of the criteria I have for a potential employee:

    • They smoke.
    • They text and talk on the phone while on the job.
    • They have no idea how to turn off caps lock…
    • …or when to stop using exclamation points.
    • They can’t spell “Hypocrite.”

    That pretty much summarizes my ideal employee right there. Sadly, I also need someone who lives in (everywhere) rather than (All Over), so I guess I’ll be looking elsewhere.

    Thanks for the week, Mackenzie! Next week, you can drive the YSaC backhoe if you like!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1755: Revenge of the Spinach Toothpaste

    eight lap tops cheap – $1

    i have five lap top computers for sale they are Dual cores and work great they just need hard drives and power cords asking $ 20.00 each or $ 15.00 each if you buy two or more $ 100.00 for all eight these are great to put Linux or windows on

    Time to fire up the catulator! (Which, don’t forget, you can get on a mousepad!)

    Eight laptops times five laptops times two cores minus no hard drives plus power cords modulo $20 each to the power $15 each in base eight is…

    *hits catulator*

    Oh dear – I get “Sprunkle.”

    Thanks for the post, Lace!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1754: Put it on! Put it on!

    This one seems normal right until the end…

    97 Nissan Pathfinder

    Moving sale! Great desk full L shape brown wood 3 part desk $150 OBO

    Matching Bed room set two night stands dresser with mirror queen sized bed with mattress dark brown wood 900 OBO

    Nice black leather futon lays flat 75 OBO

    2 small dark brown 3 shelf book shelfs
    25 each OBO

    THE FASTER YOU PICK UP the more I’ll take off

    …when you realize that the poster is a stripper.

    Thanks for the post, Mark!