You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: maybe it’s just me

  • YSaC, Vol. 911: Honey, I nuked the baby.

    Baby/Toddler toys

    We have a 2 year old boy, and have amassed a pile of his toys to give away. Most are in good shape, some need new batteries.

    We are on the westside of [location]. I also have cloth diapers to give away (separate posting)

    203

    Parent #1: Honey, where’s the baby?

    Parent #2: In the other room, playing with his new toy.

    Parent #1: That was a great find. Who knew that Playskool makes toys that teach toddlers about dielectric heating?

    Parent #2: Playskool? I thought it said Kenmore on the door.

    Parent #1: Hmm, must be some knockoff company. Well, I’m sure it will be fine. It is a baby toy, after all. The Craigslist post said so.

    [from other room]: Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep. <<<ZAP>>> … sizzle

    Parent #1: What happened to the lights?

    Parent #2: What’s that burning smell?

    Parent #1: Where’s Fluffy?

    Okay, okay, that’s morbid. I was initially hoping this would be an instance of reflectoporn, but no such luck.

    [edited by drmk: oops, I set this to publish in 2009, so it showed up way back in the archive. D’oh.]

  • YSaC, Vol. 515: Wanna grow up to be a De Acer.

    I’m sure there are great deals to be found in the Computer section of Craigslist. These, however, are not two of them.

    Sony Vaio laptop,windows xp, wireless,dvd/cdrw,office – $275

    fabulous sony vaio laptop, with windows xp, wireless built in, dvd/cdrw, has office programs, antivirus
    works great , battery lasts close to 3 hours too !!!

    344

    Sony Vaio laptop, you say? Does Sony frequently advertise their products with their competitor’s name emblazoned across the screen? That wouldn’t happen to be a random screenshot you yoinked from a website, would it? No, of course not.

    Or how about this:

    HP 2Ghz Tower & Flat Panel System – $150

    2.0 Ghz Pentium 4, 1GB RAM, 80GB Hard Drive, DVD read, CD read-write drives, matching keyboard and mouse, 15″ LCD flat panel monitor, Windows XP Pro.

    344a

    Michael sent this one in, saying, “Ok, I’m all for trying to make your posting look good, but… when the headline says “Flat Panel System” I expect a flat panel monitor. I don’t even see a flat SCREEN there. It’s not an LCD, it’s a CRT, with a curved surface. I’m not sure if I should flag it for false advertising.. but anyone who will see that picture and think “flat panel” deserves it, I suppose.

    Also, that’s not an HP. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not an HP. If it IS, it’s FAR older than a 2ghz model, more like 200mhz model. And for $150? I can go to walmart and buy a laptop with a dual core Athlon and 3gb of RAM, double the hard drive size, and an actual FLAT PANEL (it’s a laptop after all) for $250. Why…

    My head hurts. Remind me to never look for computer parts on Craigslist again :(”

    I’m going to have to trust Michael’s commentary here, since I’m a Mac girl myself. (Dan is a PC, which means we’re a mixed marriage. We’re raising the cat platform-independently. She can make her mind up by herself when she’s ready.)

  • YSaC, Vol. 503: I see a red pew and I want it painted black.

    In my delirious stream-of-consciousness holiday survival mode, these things go together:

    Free pain! Lots of it!

    Now I know some folks are into that kind of thing, and that’s fine. I just want to point out what a difference a “t” makes. It seems like something you might want to include in your title.

    FREE OIL-BASED PAIN

    @ [Name of] Church.

    No thanks, I’m not Pomponio Algerio. It’s nice to see that religion is sticking to its traditions, though.

    And while we’re on the topic of churches …

    Free Church pews…please them.

    Amanda sends this one in, saying, “The church pews are not pleased by your offering. The church pews demand a tribute of bedazzled Jesus belt buckles.”

    Make it so, or you know what will happen!

    Thanks to Kevin, Jen, and Amanda!

  • YSaC, Vol. 477: Giggety giggety.

    4.2 Lbs Quagmire – $18000

    I have 4.2 lbs of quagmire selling for 1/2 price. Be the first to have your own to mount over your fireplace. One of a kind, never before offered.

    This is perfect! I’ve been looking for 4.2 pounds worth of soft, spongy wetlands to hang over my fireplace. And it’s on sale for half price!

    It will complement the mange I’m using as curtains and the sofa I just got:

    BEAUTIFUL VIBRANT orange sofa and loveseat

    I am moving from my house to a small pop up camper and must sell my beloved sofa and loveseat. Brand is Cashley. The fabric is textured , feels similar to sandpaper, and the color is a rich bright orange. This set was $2,000 approx 8 years ago. Now asking $1000. Kept in kid/smoke free environment, yet was a cozy napping place for my 5 long haired cats and 1 sheepdog with a skin condition. I will include the 4 hot pink throw pillows. No email scams please.
    477

    My living room is complete.

    Thanks, sara and renabean!

  • YSaC, Vol. 474: Pam and Tommy ain’t got nothin’ on this one.

    To the person who donated the camcorder to the thrift store.

    It came with a few tapes and one of the tapes is a homemade sex tape. I am wondering if you want it back. the person in the video’s also has a video of a classic musle car in the garage. and videos at the beach. a video showing everything in the house even themself in a mirror and the wife. video of the kids. I didn’t watch the full sex tape but i could see the wife laying with nothing on touching herself and I hit stop. you are lucky someone nice got this. I know some people would put the video online.

    Implied subtext: That’s a really nice sex tape you’ve got there. I’d hate for anything to happen to that sex tape of yours. Sure, some people would put that sex video online. But I never would. Unless you offer me money not to. That’s just how nice I am.

    The moral of today’s story: don’t donate videos to the thrift store! And if you do … well, don’t.

    Thanks for this listing, Rebecca!

  • YSaC, Vol. 468: I would have quoted something off of Version 2.0.

    This is behind a cut because it’s long. And eye-gougingly painful to read. If you are of delicate sensibilities and are offended by inappropriate capitalization and run-on sentences, then — well, then, what the hell are you doing on this blog? But if you are of strong of mind, and think you can withstand the slings and arrows of outrageous grammar, then carry on.
    (more…)