YSaC, Vol. 233: I’ll take “Things You Shouldn’t Recycle” for $200, Alex.
MUST SALE SOON
GRAMMA PAST AND LEFT HER DENTURES COULDN’T SEE THEM GO TO WASTE. ALITTLE STAINED(GRANDMA WAS A SMOKER) IM SURE THEY CAN BE CLEANED UP SHE ONLY WORE THEM TO DR APPOINTMENTS SO THEY NOT ALMOST LIKE NEW!!! SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY WILLING TO CONSIDER TRADE FOR GOOD LAPTOP
PLEASE EMAIL FOR FITTING APPOINTMENT EVENING TIMES MORE CONVIENENT FOR ME
THANK YOU AND HOPE THAT WE CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT KEEP IN MIND GRANDMA WAS PETITE SO THEY WILL PROBABLY NOT FIT A BIGGER PERSON FREE HALF A TUBE OF FIXODENT AS I HAVE NO USE FOR IT
PLEASE DONT FLAG ME
I think this might be worse than the catheter bag and enema table. These were actually in this woman’s mouth — not to mention that she SMOKED with them in. I’m getting tongue cancer just thinking about it.
Edited to add: Now that I’ve had my caffeine today, I realized we may have solved the problem that this woman and her daughter were going to be facing.
Oh dear God. I was born, randomly, without four of my permanent teeth so when the baby teeth finally couldn’t take it anymore (at 32) so I learned the process to fit something like this. They fit it and re-fit it and fit it again. Then it goes to a technician who molds it. Those dentures will not fit in anyone else’s mouth but “Gramma’s” and should have been buried with her. So on top of being absolutely disgusting, it doesn’t work like that.
Sadly, there is a poor person without teeth who will probably take them, putting them in only to eat. But they’re gonna hurt.
OH, wait a minute! This just got even more disgusting – let’s say they get multiple inquiries and multiple people come to try them out! I think I just threw up a little.
Yikes. First off, people “pass away”, the past tense of which is passed, not “past”. Second, why do they make it sound as if she simply forgot to take her dentures with her when she left? Also, EWW!
Haha I think this person had a little Freudian slip in their ad. “So they NOT almost like new“.
i think the fact that they think they can get a really good laptop to trade for is craziness! who in there right mind would think, “hmmm, i wonder if i could get some gently used dentures in exchange for this perfectly good laptop i just happen to have lying around.” where do they find these people?!?!?
I wonder if they’d fit Gramma Present or Gramma Future? *ducks tomatoes and runs*
I sure would like to know how to duck the runs.
The “please don’t flag me” at the end was my favorite part (mainly because I had stopped retching by that point). It’s such a desperate plea… Like some drunk guy who comes up to you and makes disgusting remarks and then says, “please don’t walk away”…
Holy Francis Dolarhyde Batman!
This sounds like the plot of a low-grade horror flick. You buy them and they try to bite your tongue off when you wear them.
So, on second look (it’s like a car wreck, I just had to!) I wonder why these have to be “saled” soon. It’s not like they take up a lot of space… Too bad the Lyons don’t have a denture program like their eyeglasses program – problem solved and a cheritable tax deduction to boot. 😉
First off, dentures are individually fitted. As somebody already pointed out.
Second… for the price of a decent laptop you could probably pay for dentures of your very own.
Third… the whole concept is just very, very gross. Even without the smoking.
I can just see them thinking ‘these things cost a lot of money when gramma got them, we should be able to sell them for about that much!’
When my uncle passed away and we found his dentures in his stuff, I did briefly wonder if the Lyons took them like they do glasses, then I tossed them anyway. Gave me the heebie jeebies just to touch them. CL never even occurred to me – silly me!
those pics are scary. i think grandma’s still smiling at me.
This almost reads like poetry…
—
MUST SALE SOON
GRAMMA PAST
AND LEFT HER DENTURES
COULDN’T SEE THEM
GO TO WASTE.
ALITTLE STAINED
(GRANDMA WAS A SMOKER)
IM SURE THEY CAN
BE CLEAN-ED UP
SHE ONLY WORE THEM
TO DR APPOINTMENTS
SO THEY NOT
ALMOST LIKE NEW!!!
SERIOUS INQUIRES
ONLY WILLING
TO CONSIDER TRADE
FOR GOOD LAPTOP
PLEASE EMAIL FOR
FITTING APPOINTMENT
EVE-NING TIMES MORE
CONVIENENT FOR ME
THANK YOU AND HOPE THAT
WE CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT
KEEP IN MIND
GRANDMA WAS PETITE
SO THEY WILL PROBABLY
NOT FIT A BIGGER PERSON
FREE HALF A TUBE
OF FIXODENT
AS I HAVE NO USE
FOR IT
PLEASE DONT FLAG ME
*applause*
Gah, all my spacing was taken out…
Do you think its ok if I’m a guy? Cuz I’s only got two front teeth at the bottom and shore wold like to have sum fryed chicken. I miss chewing. My smile measures 4″ wide and I can open my mouth to 5″ tall-its funny that my smile is smaller than my mouth. I wouldn’t figure that. I’m not fat at all on acount that I can’t eat much for not being abel to chew. I don’t gotta laptop but I do have an old playstation I can give you. Call me at 555-307-7344. I work night shift at a lab so it will have to be fore I go to work.
My skin just crawled off and went dancing around the room.
I would like a dollar for every time someone uses “sale” as a verb, or refers to their Grandma as “Gramma” so I can pay off all my student loans (undergrad + 2 grad programs).
Please write you local congressman and let’s have all “Caps lock” keys removed from computers to prevent abuse.
That is all.
Thank you
BUT WHY?
[matt]I can’t believe you people! Some people aren’t blessed enough to be rich and can’t afford proper…
Wait… used dentures?
Ew.
[/matt]
Those of us wiffout teefs do just fine.
I let my blender do all my chewing for me.
OK – true story – honest!
Grampmommy is a teacher also. A few years ago she had a student come in to school on Monday and say that she had gone to Kentucky over the weekend for her Grandma’s wake. She proceeded to tell about it, ” It was kinda sad, but it got real exciting when the police showed up to break up the fight. My Mom and my Aunt got arrested ‘cuz they got into a fistfight over which one of them was gonna get Grandma’s false teeth. Momma said she should get ’em cause they fit her better…”
Personally, I think sisters should learn how to share nicely.
Grampdaddy, it’s always nice to see you here! And to read your wonderful stories that just adds to the whole squicky-ness of the post!
That bites…
Haven’t I seen them teeth in a certain grinning dog around here before?
Please don’t flag me.
Crush those teeth! Break them with a hammer! Otherwise they could be used to identify the body!
Oh wait, no body.
Never mind, no crime has been committed here. Go about your business.
*[censored] big mouth!*
Gramma Past
Gramma Past passed yesterday. Gramma was very active in the local Historical Society. She is survived by her son, Grant Past Jr. and his family. The funeral will be held on tuesday at the Present Funeral Home in Grants Pass, Or. She will be laid to rest at the Future Cemetary at the Past family plot next to her husband, Grant Past Sr.. There will be a reception at the Past home after the funeral. Refreshments will be served, bring your own glass, because, you know, Gramma’s teeth.
I’m sure the refreshments will include (or be limited to) jello and pudding.
Every time I see something happening in abbreviated Oregon I initially read it as providing an alternative:
I always assume it’s Heisenberg… dratted meddling theoretical physisisisisists!
Is he the guy that gave the cat to Schrodinger?
It’s hard to say…
Finally! I’ve been looking for some teeth for my styrofoam man head for months!
FLAG, FLAG, FLAG.
I’ll flag who I want, when I want.
I’m a certified flagger.*
*this may not be true.
Yes, he’s the Flag Man!
Yeaaaaah, the Flaaaag Man!
And he’s working for nothing but teeth!
Grandma got mugged by the Tooth Fairy
Walkin’ home to our house on bingo night.
You can say there’s no such thing as Fairies.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She’d been drinkin’ too much “medicine”.
And smokin’ her Marlboro’s.
But she’d forgot her lucky dauber,
So she staggered out the door without Fix O Dent.
When we found her the next mornin,’
At the scene of the attack.
She had wand marks on her forehead,
And incriminatin’ glitter on her back.
Grandma got mugged by the Tooth Fairy
Walkin’ home to our house on bingo night.
You can say there’s no such thing as Fairies.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Keep it up Hammy, and you’ll have Dwayne Johnson spitting teeth.
Rock on. 8)
NO
My thoughts exactly, Kelli. I am now going to proceed to work VERY hard to forget I ever saw this. Pass the brain bleach, please. Steel wool? Oh, don’t mind if I do.
You should have just thrown them away, ick, ick.
You should have just thrown them away, ew, ew.
Ick, ick, ew, ew, in a funky place,
where no one will see them ever again.
Like a garbage can or a sewer drain,
and we’ll all be happy with out all the pain
of seeing this ad, and all the disdain.
And you should have just thrown them away, ew, ew.
You said that gramma smoked, but can be cleaned right in your post.
And even have half a tube of Fixodent. Right?
You should have just thrown them away, ick, ick.
You should have just thrown them away, ew, ew.
Like a dusty old bin, just toss them within.
To try to sell them would just be a sin.
To throw them away would just take a min.
And you should have just thrown them away, ew, ew!
I believe that was originally performed by Naplonene XIV.
*kicks HamCan out of the box* And Stay Out! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Ganjyoji Temple!