This was posted in m4w.
Seeking smart woman for mahogany desk job LTR? – 38
Career dreamer seeks icy snapper to sharpen my pencils in.
I would like a partner to plug into my desk.
I came upon this beauty a few months ago doing a cash side job on the West Side.
Me and this guy named Sky were moving a prickly little poodle past her orifice,
when divine intervention manifested destiny!
We dropped her custom made Italian Mahogany partners desk down a manhole.
She was married to this classical fellow who built a fortune from an erector set,
but his eyes fell out and her cats ate them.
She had to move on. So she’s trained in some kinda cerebella palsy… (powerful stuff),
and she picks up this desk off Ruby Lane for a couple O G. Well this desk must have had some magic dust in it or something cause she started sucking up more clients then her little cube could handle.
That’s where me and Sky came in. You tell us “where” and we ask you “why”. Sky came up with that one. Boss wouldn’t paint it on the truck though.
So we were moving this tricky sweet pony uptown when she goes into a caramel latte slide and completely upsets our feng sway. Down goes the partners desk and the manhole is burping like an alcoholic barber.
There was crap all over the place, and she wanted our heads. I looked up at Sky and said
“The custom Italian Mahogany desk has fallin.”
He just passed over man, like it didn’t even matter. I looked down at that beaded old purse and she was flapping like a wind sock on Mount Washington.
Took me close to a month to find work again, (due exclusively too the mostly unkind ways in which she remembered us in the police report) but 30 days later I’m under the street sucking sludge for a guy named Demillo- and BOOM, its that desk!
I hauled my prize back to the storage unit/apartment I rent- and there she sits.
Its got two holes in it, I just need a partner to fill the other side. If you have a chair that adjusts it would be perfect as she lost a little height in the fall.
Also- please be a highly educated professional gainfully employed white collar type,
Cause I cant get the drawers open. There is magic dust in there!
Well, there you go then. I wish I could say this was an April Fools joke of some kind, but I think this guy really brought the crazy out for this one.
For the record, there’s actually a lot that’s GOOD about this post, too — the imagery is vivid, he has a good sense of cadence, and for the most part his spelling is accurate. And after about the fourth or fifth time reading through the post, you can start to get a general sense of the narrative. But there’s a lot that’s wrong with it, too.
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