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YSaC, Vol. 304: Oooh, I’m deail-oieed! Pick me!

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drmk

in

Another listing from kajiji.com:

Development Internship

Job Title: Development Internship
Job Code: 62707
Location: Beverly Hills, CA

Job Description: Awad Wiig Poducio Compay seeks ceaive ad moivaed developme ies, wih good compue skills ad kowledge of PHOTOSHOP, EXCEL,WORD, ad WEB DESiGN. Cadidaes mus be deail-oieed, ad skilled a efficie muliaskig. Mus have a ca ad good phoe maes. Ie mus be self-moivaed wih good ceaive juice ad good disposiio. Mus have a ca, 4-5 hous a day 3 imes a week, we will wok aoud you school schedule. Wa o lea moe abou he ceaive pocess of he TV/FILM Idusy ad ge a lo of oe o oe aeio? Souds like fu?The e-mail a sho message abou youself, you school, you coac ifo, ad aach a esumeResposibiliies iclude assisig wih geeal office duies, help maiai ad impleme ew ideas fo ou websie. Wie coveage, email ad pos o websie, ad blog sie. All of hese duies deal wih coe, compleed episodes , wokig o a movie almos fom scach. Please ell Globalkid Vid & Film Facoy ha you foud he lisig a Coac: PLEASE NO PHONE CALLS VIA- EMAIL IS PREFFERED. Via email: melaie@xxxxxxx.comThis employe will accep you esume as ex i body of emailThis employe will accep you esume as a aachme &bsp; Please ell Globalkid Vid & Film Facoy ha you foud he lisig a View all he lisigs fomGlobalkid Vid & Film Facoy Pie Fiedly VesioEmail his o a fied

Elle sends this one in, saying, “I would think that the “n,” “t,” and “r” keys weren’t working, except the title and one sentence toward the end are spelled perfectly. Maybe this is part of the interview process – you must be proficient at deciphering ridiculous web-speak?”

Well, not exactly perfectly, since they misspelled preferred (I know, I’m a pedant) … but it does seem as though the capital letters work (note the T in PHOTOSHOP, the R in WORD, and the N in DESiGN, and elsewhere). How very odd. Souds like fu, indeed. I’ve heard of disemvoweling, but this is ridiculous.

I was eally emped o wie a log paagaph ad delee he same lees ha wee missig i he pos, jus o make you deciphe he ex some moe, bu I would eve do ha o you lovely people. Uless you sed i moe submissios, of couse!

Comments

73 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 304: Oooh, I’m deail-oieed! Pick me!”

  1. araispoetry Avatar
    araispoetry

    You won’t do it UNLESS we send in submissions? *confused*

  2. Amy H. Avatar
    Amy H.

    I’m such a spazz. I forced my way through that entire post trying to decipher each and every word. I think I felt something rupture in my brain…

  3. Amaia Avatar
    Amaia

    I wonder if this is a way of weeding out people whose first language isn’t English. Unless you have a very intuitive sense of the language, my guess is that you’re not going to get this. Whatever they’re doing, I’m not down with it.

  4. Slager Avatar
    Slager

    Perhaps whoever wrote this was taking dictation from someone without a tongue.

    1. Martha Avatar
      Martha

      I peed my pants a little there…

  5. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    What’s sad is that I read it almost as fast as I would have with all of the letters. I read typo fluently and am a pro at word games. Who knew this would come in handy when looking for the internship of my dreams.

  6. Kerrin Avatar
    Kerrin

    The person who typed this has no index fingers.

  7. Linnee Avatar
    Linnee

    “Cadidaes mus be deail-oieed”

    This is the best example of irony (ioy?)ever!

  8. Regina Avatar
    Regina

    Disemvowelling is one of my upcoming topics for TILfW. OMGZ BAADER-MEINHOFF KIND OF

    This reminds me of The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, where the secretary has two partially working typewriters, but neither of them has a working “h” key. (At least that’s how it is in the series; I’m a philistine who hasn’t read the book.)

  9. oi! Avatar
    oi!

    I gave up. I generally read misspelled words w/o realizing them and grasping only meanings, but this is far beyond my disability to recognize typos. I could not read the whole post, I felt shooting pain in my eyes.help help.

    1. kristen55 Avatar
      kristen55

      Thank God you people see it too, because my first thought was that I’d had a stroke!

  10. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    OK – this is bad – I’ve spotted the spelling mistake WITHIN the spelling mistake (OK the whole thing is pretty much one big long spelling mistake but…). I suggest it should be ‘deail oieaed’ rather than ‘deail oieed’. Now I feel like a nerd.

    1. Martha Avatar
      Martha

      How do you spell ‘oriented’? I don’t see any as in there.

      Nerd.

      1. Mrphysic Avatar
        Mrphysic

        I was thinking orientated

      2. Mrphysic Avatar
        Mrphysic

        I was thinking orientated

        1. Maureen Avatar
          Maureen

          Nope. “Detail oriented” would be correct.

  11. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    Oh – and can anyone really trust that e-mail address? (I guess it probably refers to ‘Melanie’)…….I also reckon that the company name is still up for discussion too. We are meant to assume ‘Award Writing Production Company’ but I’m sure there are some more amusing alternatives………

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      I was guessing “Award Winning”. You don’t seem to speak fluent typonese.

      1. Kerrin Avatar
        Kerrin

        Globalkid Vid & Film Facoy

  12. CE Blog Avatar
    CE Blog

    Broken keyboard cringeathon.

  13. TacocaT Avatar
    TacocaT

    In my opinion this was an obvious attempt to get posted on YSaC.

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      If only the site was so popular.

  14. Stephen Avatar
    Stephen

    It seems to be catching. I found another post with the same disease: I’ve linked to it in my “URL” field. It was not from the same company. At least it helped me to understand the otherwise unintelligible phrase “oe o oe aeio”! Perhaps they think that anyone who can decipher the message is bound to be brighter than average, and it’s a way of filtering out those who aren’t prepared to put in a few minutes of hard work.

    1. Monica Hamburg Avatar
      Monica Hamburg

      OMG Thanks for that! So much good stuff in that ad!

      1) There are numerous circumstances under which they tell you not to apply (as if it wasn’t a forgone conclusion anyhow).

      2) My favorite was “If you CAN NOT self sa…DO NOT APPLY”. Fortunately, I can self satisfy fine.

  15. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    Here’s my two cents worth (I know you were just waiting for me to chime in).

    Melanie was given an assignment. Melanie’s boss sends an email saying,

    “Put an ad on Craigslist. Make sure you include the following

    Development Internship
    Job Title: Development Internship
    Job Code:

    Be sure to include the criteria PHOTOSHOP, EXCEL,WORD, ad WEB DESiGN.

    Melanie, don’t screw this up. I can’t stress enough, PLEASE NO PHONE CALLS VIA- EMAIL IS PREFFERED”.

    Melanie proceeds to cut and paste what bossman says and types the rest. Hilarity ensues.

    Amen.

    1. Jackie Avatar
      Jackie

      That’s my best guess as to how it happened too. Cut and paste would explain why certain words have all their letters, while the rest of the text was presumably written on a faulty keyboard.

      1. Kerrin Avatar
        Kerrin

        Or else Melanie is the one needing to be replaced. It’s not obvious from the ad if this is the cause for her impending dismissal, or if she taped some of her fingers together to ensure nobody would apply.

  16. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    Note to self: Do not read this site anymore until I’ve had my morning coffee.

  17. Fraulein N Avatar
    Fraulein N

    My eyes!

  18. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    I want to think of it as hazing for the new HR person.
    “Melanie, i was you to post a classified ad for the company, but the catch is you can only use roughly 200 consonants. Now go!”

  19. daquina Avatar
    daquina

    Sadly, I think I know what has caused this. Someone used a printed version of a job description, when they couldn’t find the original electronic copy. They then scanned the printed copy, and used an optical character reader to convert it back to text for editing/submission. Unfortunately, the OCR they used sucks, and the person perfoming this task has far too much faith in technology, and didn’t bother to actually proofread before submitting.

  20. DC Avatar
    DC

    Looks more like their r, t, and n keys weren’t working, really.

    In which case, why not get your keyboard fixed/get a new one before you try to put out an ad and make a fool of yourself? Oh, right, that would require common sense.

  21. Monica Hamburg Avatar
    Monica Hamburg

    I have 2 possible theories:

    1) They clearly need someone with good compue skills

    2) The missing letters are a code. When you put them all together they form the place you’ll find the treasure

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Has anyone ever heard of a place called tnnnrrntrrtrntr? (No, I didn’t actually go through and put in the missing letters. I improvised.)

      1. Monica Hamburg Avatar
        Monica Hamburg

        I fear the treasure will never be discovered…

      2. Esponja Avatar
        Esponja

        Sounds like a welsh town to me.

        Ok, very late comment but I’m still backreading the whole site.

  22. miko Avatar
    miko

    Maybe one of those speech-to-text software programs is the culprit here. With a bad microphone, many consonants can go undetected. …Oh, but that would just be too redeeming, wouldn’t it? *sigh* Wishful thinking for the sake of humanity.

  23. Loreli Avatar
    Loreli

    Ok…I totally thought it was in another language at first. Yikes!

  24. Andy Avatar
    Andy

    “Mus have a ca ad good phoe maes” ??

    I get that the end reads “…and good phone manners”, but… what’s a ca?

    A caRT? a caT? I suppose it could be a car, but why put that in the same sentence as good phone manner? Doesn’t make sense. Then again, this *is* YSACL…

  25. blinkingblythe Avatar
    blinkingblythe

    What the hell is “oe o oe aeio”? Is that employer market code talk for “haha! we will screw you over sucker!!!!!”?

    1. ratwoman Avatar
      ratwoman

      I thought it was something to do with singing ‘Old Macdonald’.

    2. eeyore19 Avatar
      eeyore19

      Isn’t that what the guards were chanting in “The Wizard of Oz”?

  26. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    f u cn rd this u cn b n intern n fix r kbrd.

    1. Brer Fox Avatar
      Brer Fox

      “f u cn rd this u cn b n intern n fix r kbrd.”

      fuc*in’ rude, this cane born intern no fixor rookbird.

      So, do I get the job?

  27. PhantomBanker Avatar
    PhantomBanker

    oe o oe aeio
    ting tang walla walla bing bang

    Maybe it’s an ad for a witch doctor?

    1. Tankerbell Avatar
      Tankerbell

      Can a witch doctor help me get back the time I spent trying to read this? Or can only The Doctor do that?

  28. PhantomBanker Avatar
    PhantomBanker

    mmmm….pie fiedly….not as good as pie a la moe, but delicious none-the-less

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      “pie a la moe”

      Is this pie in the face of Moe Howard of the three stooges?
      Is this pie simply adorable and you have a desire to protect it? A cutie pie?

      1. One Moving Violation Avatar
        One Moving Violation

        pie a la moe is on facebook.

        1. PhantomBanker Avatar
          PhantomBanker

          They’re actually located in my hometown. I think I remembered the name subconsciously, and it was encouraged to seep from my brain cortex into cognitive resonance by the nummy “pie fiedly” reference

  29. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    *drinks second cup of coffee*
    *blinks blearily at glowy box*
    *cleans glowy box screen*
    *blinks some more at glowy box*
    *goes for larger, third cup of coffee*

    1. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      : offers Mama Windy a coffee IV:

      1. PhantomBanker Avatar
        PhantomBanker

        That should be coffee 4. YSaC no longer uses Roman numerals.

  30. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    ROOER, ROOER, ROOER, ROOER, ROOER, ROOER, ROOER, ROOER, ROOER, ROOER

  31. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
    Demon Duck of Doom

    In Hawaii we ge a lo of oe o oe aeio, especially in Aiea, Laie and Ka’a’awa.

  32. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    This is exacTly how I Talk while iN The DeNTisT chaiR afTeR The DeNTisT sTicks ThaT NeeDle ThRough The Roof of my mouTh iNTo my bRaiN and iNjecTiNg ThaT miND-NumbiNg sTuff. The bRaiN Does conTRol The fiNgeRs afTeR all.

  33. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    Maybe the poster bit his/her toungue.
    Maybe the poster bit his/her fingers.
    Maybe the poster had a bowl of bees for breakfast.
    Maybe the poster eats bees with his/her fingers.
    Maybe the poster has an irregular keyboard.
    Maybe the poster has irregular fingers.
    Maybe the poster has an irregular brain.
    Maybe the poster is really a poser.
    Maybe the poster is allergic to lowercase d’s, n’s, and r’s.
    Maybe the poster’s co-workers want to get him/her fired so they changed it while he/she was in the restroom.
    Maybe the poster had a keystroke.
    Maybe the poster never learned all of the letters of the alphabet.
    Maybe the poster’s parents only bought irregular Alpha Bits.
    Maybe the poster was given irregular letter blocks.

    Maybe I’m over this.
    Maybe I’m over thinking this.
    Maybe I’m over thinking about this.

  34. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    Souds like fu?
    Soudis like kung- fu?
    fu-bar?
    It took me three days to figure out fu stood for Felix Unger.

  35. limelolly Avatar
    limelolly

    This is not a job I would want. I don’t even know what the industry terms are.

  36. LurkRealClose Avatar
    LurkRealClose

    I am afreid Im overqualiferd. Or not.

  37. P-Rex Avatar
    P-Rex

    Job Description: Award Winning Production Company seeks creative and motivated developmet interns, with good computer skills and knowledge of PHOTOSHOP, EXCEL,WORD, and WEB DESiGN. Candidates must be detail-oriented, and skilled at efficient multitasking. Must have a car and good phone manners. Intern must be self-motivated with good creative juice and good disposition. Must have a car, 4-5 hours a day 3 times a week, we will work around your school schedule. Want to learn more about the creative process of the TV/FILM Industry and get a lot of one on one attention? Sounds like fun? Then e-mail a short message about yourself, your school, your contact info, and attach a resume. Responsibilities include assisting with general office duties, help maintain and implement new ideas for our website. Write coverage, email and post to website, and blog site. All of these duties deal with content, completed episodes , working on a movie almost from scratch. Please tell Globalkid Vid & Film Factory that you found the listing at Contract: PLEASE NO PHONE CALLS VIA- EMAIL IS PREFFERED. Via email: melanie@xxxxxxx.com. This employer will accept your resume as text in body of email. This employer will accept your resume as an attachment &bsp; Please tell Globalkid Vid & Film Factory that you found the listing at View all the listings from Globalkid Vid & Film Factory Printer Friendly Version. Email this to a friend.

    1. P-Rex Avatar
      P-Rex

      I do’ kow wha &bsp meas, so I did’ fix i, if i eve eeded fixig

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        P-Rex, you have an unfair advantage when it comes to web design.

    2. P-Rex Avatar
      P-Rex

      Oopsie! I didn’t fix PREFFERRED

    3. Tankerbell Avatar
      Tankerbell

      Whoa, P-Rex, you need a hobby.

      1. P-Rex Avatar
        P-Rex

        This is my hobby. If I don’t do this, I might wind up with another holly hobby and I don’t want to end up with another hobbit..

  38. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Facebook update: If you do friend me, please let me know who you are. 8)

    1. Tankerbell Avatar
      Tankerbell

      I am Tankerbell. I like long walks on the beach, lighthouses, and Barry Manilow.

    2. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      I am ghostcat. I enjoy grilled cheese sammiches, independent films, and mercilessly crushing my enemies into a fine pink paste. I also crochet.

      1. a storm in the form of a girl Avatar
        a storm in the form of a girl

        Grill me a cheese!

    3. Brer Fox Avatar
      Brer Fox

      I’m Brer Fox.
      Maybe you want some BF.
      Maybe you want some BFF.
      Maybe you want some BBFF.
      Maybe you want some BBFFFF.
      Maybe you want some BBFFFFFF*.

      *Beautiful Brer Fox Fur For Free For Friends

  39. DigitalAxis Avatar
    DigitalAxis

    The Globakid Vid&Fim Facory could have viral videos on their hands if their products are as ineptly written, acted, and filmed as this ad was copy-edited.

    The Detective: Now listen here, you two-timing scum! You scum are coming back with me to the station in my policecar to answer to the crime of the murder of who shot Liberty Valance and you’re going to answer the questions now, or my name isn’t Brock Beefcake, top lawman of the Pecos.
    Tumbleweed: Lawman of the Pecos? More like Lawman of the Pec-oh-no-she-di’int!
    Dave: Hi. I’m Dave.
    (They are all crushed by a 16-ton weight)

  40. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Hammy and Ducky and Dave, oh my! Punchity Punchity Punch, oh my!

    Good Morning, Special Video Unit!

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