YSaC, Vol. 344: We represent …

2009 June 26

Attractive Couple Looking for Acrobactial Midget – mw4w – 25


Smart, young sucessful couple is looking for a attractive, short female who is under 4 feet tall.
We enjoy being active and like to do things out doors. Boating, BBQing, camping, and anything fun.
Must be athletic or at least willing to do atheletic things like gymnastics and poses.
This will not be a sexual relationship, unless it leads to that in future.
No major health problems, 420 friendly is a plus. Must like dogs and mexican hats

Please respond with pictures to get pictures!
Hope to hear from your shortness soon!

My brain can’t parse the word “acrobactial”. I keep seeing antibacterial. “The Antibacterial Midgets” would be a terrible name for a band, though.

I think this came out of a conversation in which the couple sat down and said, “Are our friends diverse enough? Let’s see, we’ve got Mike — he’s gay AND African-American, so that covers two. Mindy is half-Asian — does that count? We’ll have to look for more Asian friends. Rafael is Hispanic, Sandeep is from India, and Björn is from Sweden. You know what we’re missing? A midget. Let’s put an ad on Craigslist looking for a midget friend/sex partner. Then we’ll officially be diverse and hip.”

I mean, let’s be honest here: who doesn’t need an athletic, weed-friendly, mexican-hat wearing midget in their lives? I know I do.

48 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 26
    Colleen in MA permalink

    Hmmm … seems to me they posted in the wrong forum. They’re looking for a pet.

    Adores: 8
  2. 2009 June 26
    princessluceval permalink

    “420 friendly”? What’s that? Is that sort of like Formula 409, which is what they’ll use to clean up any midget messes? Or is that like 401k (or 403k, like in a previous ad), where the midget can start putting away her savings?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 June 26
      corn flakes permalink

      4:20. pot…..or so i’ve been told.

      Any surprise the couple that want a sombrero-wearing midget would be potheads?

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 April 7
        morgan permalink

        yes, 4/20 is april 20th.. national pot day! a day when anyone and everyone can smoke as much weed as they want, wherever they want… until they run into a cop.

        Adores: 1
  3. 2009 June 26
    corn flakes permalink

    I can empathize though.
    I would really like partying and camping with a midget in a sombrero.
    I think my friends would too. I think i’m actually jealous of them for thinking of this first.

    And sadly enough “your shortness” keeps making me giggle too.

    Adores: 5
  4. 2009 June 26
    dogface permalink

    So, um, just what kind of sexual athletic posing are they going to be doing with barbecues, dogs, and Mexican hats? O.O

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 June 26
    Chuck permalink

    Coming soon to a town near you.. The Antibacterial Midgets, supporting their forthcoming album “Kleenex”

    Adores: 2
  6. 2009 June 26
    zombieBlanco permalink

    Midget? Isn’t the pc term now ‘little person’?

    And hey, smart, young sucessful couple, way to strike a dagger into the heart of all those lilmidpersons who may not be attractive, healthy or athletic, but are still yearning to do gymanstics and ‘poses’ with complete strangers.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 September 7

      That sounds more like a creature from a children’s cartoon…

      Adores: 1
  7. 2009 June 26

    They must have been hitting the 420 when they wrote this. Either that or some frat had a contest to see who could get their Craigslist ad included in YSaC

    Adores: 2
  8. 2009 June 26
    Ho Ho permalink

    Ha Ha – gotcha!

    Adores: 1
  9. 2009 June 26
    zombieBlanco permalink

    ζβ frat contests;

          ☑ cow tipping

          ☑ beer chugging

          ☑ feats of strength

          ☐ ad writing

    *this non-gigglebrax was brought to you by ysac*

    Adores: 1

    • 2009 June 26
      dogface permalink

      Does it count as gigglebraxing if it’s not on PAN? :O

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 June 26
        Olson permalink

        I’m a big fan of PAN, but still don’t know what gigglebraxing is….care to explain this?
        Thanks!

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 June 26
          zombieBlanco permalink

          gigglebraxing is best explained by its creator, unholyghost2003

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 June 26
          drmk permalink

          Can we just be happy that we have threaded comments and not bring that term over here, please?

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 June 27
          zombieBlanco permalink

          yes

          Adores: 0
  10. 2009 June 26

    To me the best (most scary?) part is their denial that this will be a sexual relationship. Why else specify an attractive (with pictures) female who does poses? Unless of course Barnum and Bailey are advertising job openings on CL…

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 June 26
      Count Blah permalink

      My friend responded to an ad from a guy simply looking for someone to ride with him to Montreal and split gas costs. He got back to her asking for a photo. :P I’m sure this midget thing IS meant to be sexual (unless it’s just a complete joke) but I think a lot of people posting for non-sex things secretly hope to get sex as a side benefit.

      Adores: 1
  11. 2009 June 26

    OMG I am laughing hysterically. The image you conjured up is too much! Are these people for real or what!?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 June 28
      Canaduck permalink

      Nope, I’m pretty sure they’re not.

      Adores: 0
  12. 2009 June 26
    zombieBlanco permalink

    Gigglebraxing!!! it’s not just for PAN anymore!

    *knows she’s going to be in so much trouble when she gets home. Secretly hopes RB is the one to adminsiter punishment.*

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 June 26
      corn flakes permalink

      I dunno. Gigglebraxing has seen some debate and conflict at PAN. I dont know if it should spread.

      And there’s a difference between a lack of nesting features and being unable to use them properly.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 June 26
        zombieBlanco permalink

        *resists juvenile urge to make jokes using the word ‘spread’*

        I think gigglebraxing is making a slow, but inexorable, foray into teh interwebs vernacular, we might not be able to stop it now.

        As for : “And there’s a difference between a lack of nesting features and being unable to use them properly.” cornflakes, you can just say I’m an idiot, you wouldn’t be the first. :wink:

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 June 26
          corn flakes permalink

          Well like most internet trends, i’ll accept the term if i have to, but i dont know if i’ll promote it’s expansion.
          And i’d never call you an idiot, i heart you zombieBlanco……and i prefer my PA way :)

          Adores: 0
  13. 2009 June 26
    zombieBlanco permalink

    *stomps off in a huff to complain about nesting features, or lack thereof, on ysac*

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 June 26
      drmk permalink

      Um. So the nesting comments that you nested above aren’t actually nesting?

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 June 26
        zombieBlanco permalink

        *tries to draw attention away from ↑ nested comments by juggling midgetslittlepeople*

        sigh. First I huffed, then corn flakes made fun of me, then I figured out the correct ‘reply’ button to make the gigglebrax happen. Now everything is hunky-dory.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 June 26
          drmk permalink

          I’m at a conference in NYC right now. When I get back at the beginning of next week I WILL fix the “too many reply buttons” problem.

          I promise.

          Adores: 1
  14. 2009 June 26
    Colleen in MA permalink

    You techies have my head spinning. I don’t know what you’re taking about. Pass the 420, will ya? It’s Friday.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 June 26
    Olson permalink

    I was holding on pretty well until “Must love dogs and mexican hats”….then I spit on my computer.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 June 26
      Roland of Gilead permalink

      Yep, the add is reasonably well written, and understandable. If you’re a pot head who travels with your dogs, I can see that you would want your new ‘friends’ to be comfortable with that aspect or your life. But Mexican hats? I just can’t get my head around why that would be important.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 June 28
        Sarah permalink

        They keep dogs and Mexican hats as pets. It’s simple.

        Adores: 2
    • 2009 June 28
      kristen55 permalink

      I agree, this was just a typical ad until they hit the mexican hats. That’s the cherry on top!

      Adores: 1
  16. 2009 June 26

    Real or fake I admire the advertiser for coming up with something kinkier than I ever imagined.

    Unless they’re willing to watch something really simple, a balance beam routine while wearing nothing but a sombrero isn’t going to happen.

    Adores: 0
  17. 2009 June 26
    Victoria permalink

    Perhaps they mean this kind of Mexican Hat?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mexican+hat

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 June 28
      kristen55 permalink

      Is there anything in the ‘urban dictionary’ that wasn’t invented by the horny minds of 12 year olds (or drunken frat boys)? I mean really, who thinks up this stuff?

      Adores: 1
  18. 2009 June 27
    Maureen permalink

    My favourite bits:

    looking for a attractive, short female who is under 4 feet tall.

    As opposed to what, an attractive TALL female who is under 4 feet tall?!

    This will not be a sexual relationship, unless it leads to that in future.

    Er, OK, so what you’re saying is, the relationship will not be sexual until it is.

    No major health problems, 420 friendly is a plus.

    You can use pot, as long as you’re not one of those people who has an actual reason to use it.

    Must like dogs and mexican hats.

    What, together? I’m now thinking about a certain chihuahua. Given the ad, that’s the safest thing to think about here.

    Adores: 2
  19. 2009 June 27
    Pademelon permalink

    This ad is SO specific between the height, athletic ability, mexican hats (seriously, wtf?!), dogs, etc…and then smack in the middle, they like to do “anything fun” as opposed to all those people who are 420 friendly, dog-loving, mexican-hat-loving, athletic, etc. that just hate doing anything fun. You say you smoke pot? Really? Never would have guessed.

    (I’m just really amused they have such a long list of demands yet thought it would be sufficient to describe themselves as smart, young and professional (clearly!) people who like to do outdoor things but really anything fun.)

    Adores: 2
  20. 2009 June 28
    jackie31337 permalink

    Erik? Daeley? Is that you? If this came from Oregon, I know the people who wrote it. They’re every bit as strange as the ad makes them sound.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 5
      cmcnabb314 permalink

      Can’t be EriK or Daeley, as their is no mention of inflatable love sheep.

      Adores: 1
  21. 2009 June 30
    Lola permalink

    I’m told that dwarf is also correct, and that midget is considered derogatory/disparaging/otherwise a poor vocabulary choice.

    Crap, confused by nesting (no blame but my own) – this is supposed to be further up the list. Ta.

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 July 15
    Jessica permalink

    i am amazed at how many people out there don’t know what 420 is lol. IT’S INTERNATIONAL WEED SMOKING TIME!!

    Adores: 0
  23. 2009 August 21
    jeez-louise permalink

    i’ve usually heard dwarfism to define disproportionate dwarfism, where some parts of the body are disproportionate to others.

    but i do live in the south.

    Adores: 0
  24. 2009 October 3
    shaun permalink

    Ok, I believe I can help. Judging by the 420 reference I would assume the ad is real and was posted by a couple that was really high, probably watching Wizard of Oz or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and saw the midgets dancing around and thought it would be awesome if they had one of their own. The mexican hat is not a referance, if anyone has seen Jackass(I’m almost ashamed to say I have), you can see Weeman do a mexican hat dance. They are probably hoping to recreate the event with their hopefully new found friend.

    Adores: 2

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