YSaC, Vol. 466: Seemed like a good idea at the time.
lets smoke and see where it goes 420 – m4w – 26
looking for a laid back chick to smoke with, im 26, white, 6 foot 3, good looking, and ready to get high and hang out with a cool chick. Im d and d free, you be too. Open to age and race and looking for tonight. open for pretty much anything, im an oral expert if it goes there, also good at giving messages. bbws and shaved a plus.
You’re d and d free, you say? I’m going to assume that means that you’ve never played Dungeons & Dragons, because otherwise you’re really unclear on what “d and d free” means.
Oh sure, there’s the “marijuana isn’t really a drug” argument, which I’m sure this guy will be happy to make at great length until you distract him with a shiny object and a bag of Cheetos, but for all intents and purposes, “d and d” free implies something that the rest of this ad refutes rather overtly.
But he’s good at giving messages. Can you take a message for yourself, dude? It’s from you in the future. That’s right, it’s a message from Future Sparky. Future Sparky would like to tell himself that it’s a bad idea to advertise marijuana on Craigslist. He would have told himself himself, but he’s doing six to ten and lost his internet privileges when he got into that fight with the guy named Bubba.
The second part of the message is to avoid guys named Bubba.
Thanks for the posting, Mark!
Since you’re open to anything, how about doing my laundry and cleaning my room? I’m willing to bake brownies and cookies since I’m sure you’ll have the munchies.
It is pretty standard practice that D&D free does not refer pot. When advertising for hook ups on craigslist there is a really big difference between the pot heads (like this guy) and the people looking for PNP.
Sorry to advertise my idiocy, but what is PNP?
Party & Play. Google directed me to Urban Dictionary, and I did take a look at the definition of D&D free, and sure enough, it doesn’t say anything about pot being exempt.
Also, if he’s in Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, California, Vermont, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, or Washington he could feasibly be a medical marijuana user, and thus has nothing to worry about from the cops for personal use, though I’m not sure how legal it is to share or how smart it is to advertise sharing. I guess it would be alright if said laid back chick also had a card…
It’s a type of transistor.
And since this guy says he’s good at oral, I guess he’s looking for a BJT.
He only rolled a 3 on his d20 and thus he had this epic fail
He also fails his saving roll, receiving full damage. The Gelatinous Cube envelops him, and then gets the munchies and consumes the invading kobold army. His party is victorious, but he is left a drying streak of slime.
hahaha
I’ve got it now, he means he’s free for D&D, and his character is a level 26 Stoner who specializes in White magic and is 6’3″ (no dwarves, please!). If only he had used his Smokeswath’s Roor Bong (+7 vs. blobs… and pizza) and his Sunglasses of Stealth (+3 evade police), I’m sure he would have been successful had he not been mesmerized by the fearsome Dark Side of Oz (“It really does sync up!” he gurgled, as the blob engulfed him).
I am in love with this comment.
I don’t know whether to be proud or sad, that I understand the DnD terminology..
Embrace thy inner geek, TigerShark!
Awesome post! I can just feel the paradox swirling around! D and d free, except for the 420, but that’s a drug in the real world! So many women will be disappointed when they try to answer this invitation to a good time, and find out the authorities got there first. It’s rather sad, isn’t it? Sniff.
He doesn’t mention whether he has the pot, or if his “date” is supposed to provide. At least he’s willing to provide “services” in return.
Also, what’s “bbws”? And what on Earth is that in the picture??
bbws is big beautiful women smokers I’m guessing, since bbw is already plural and would have no need for a s
It’s CLEARLY “Big Beautiful Women’S” Duh! The plural of “woman” is “womens”, right?
That would be the weed in question in the photo. (Why I know that, since I don’t smoke pot, I do not know.)
Looks like a pile of green lint up close, doesn’t it?
Oooh! He’s an oral expert. I’d love to hear him recite the “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.”
The “Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner”? Maybe something like this:
There was an old sailor from Nantucket
Who carried his joints in a bucket
But his daughter named Nan
Ran off with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
(Not to nitpick (oh, well, yes, to nitpick), but it’s “Rime” not “Rhyme.”)
I realized the Rime bit after about an hour or so…I am a poor excuse for someone with a Lit degree.
I know a game dev named rhyme of the ancient mariner…Rhyme for short
th
It is a doped-up Sparky,
And he’s D & D free.
By his lopsided grin and bloodshot eyes,
It seems he’s full of glee.
The holding cell door is open wide,
And he is ushered in;
The cell is full, his lips drip drool:
They eagerly welcome him in.
Sparky holds me with his skinny hand,
“There was some pot,” quoth he.
‘I have no messages for you, Sparky!’
Eftsoons his hand dropped he.
He stares into the vastness of space –
Possibly pondering his advert,
He seems so like a three years’ child:
Despite being an oral expert.
Sparky sits down on a bench:
He feels a little sick;
He looks around but he can’t find
The nameless laid back chick.
“The pot was great, the brownies baked,
Merrily did we smoke
Until the lights, from the dark night,
Filtered through the window.
The cars came up upon the lawn,
To the front door came they!
And shone bright lights into my eyes
And then took me away.
Farther and farther by the minute,
I think I forgot my crackers –”
Sparky here blinked his eyes and startled
For his high was fading faster.
The cop hath retreated down the hall,
Sparky’s mother’s kitchen is sorely missed,
With a clearer head, he deliberates
The disadvantages of advertising 420 on craigslist.
Holy Shit. Sorry, but that deserves an expletive. Nice.
Where would we be now, if only pot had been STC’s drug of choice instead of laudanum?
(By the way, I want to give sfaye’s Rime at least 420 points.)
This can’t possibly end badly.
Nice bud.
I’m excited about the “messages.” He could help out the Best of Craigslist poster who needed a full-time texting assistant…heheh!
I’m thinking ‘d and d’ here might mean ‘death and dismemberment’. Which has probably been a bit of a struggle for him.
Disease- and drama-free.
Man, the ladies who respond to this ad are going to be awfully disappointed when it turns out that he just wanted to smoke some cigarettes and get high on life. As a consolation, he does have a nice collection of moss clumps for you to gaze upon thoughtfully.
My thought exactly!! That does *not* look like 420 to me….not that I would know…or remember… 😉
My thought was that it looks like florists’ moss, of the sort used in arrangements. I confess to having much more acquaintance with that than The Other Plant Usually Referred to as 420 (more of a martini girl, myself), so it’s entirely possible I’m wrong, and that it really is TOPURta420.
Also, is anyone else wondering what the background on this is? There’s the metallic braided bit on the bigger metallic bit, and then there’s something that may be fabric, or dryer sheets, or … I dunno. I can’t figure it out. And I’m sober.
I’m pretty sure it’s someone’s hand holding out the…florists’ moss to the camera. The braided thing is a ring on the second finger.
Oh wait, I see it now. It’s a hand in b/w and the “moss” is in green. Got it.
What an annoyingly cutesy graphic.
I see it now! I thought the braided bit was a bracelet, encircling the wrist of a silver hand, so it was holding a giant clump of moss/dead grass. Sort of like the picture of “Do you see an ugly hag, or a lovely young lady?” now I can see both. And I’m not even smoking anything!
Sorry about being so innocent, but what is the clump in the picture? Also, what is 420? The super-extra secret formula for the 409 successor?
The answer to both of your questions: Marijuana.
Thanks. I have since educated myself on Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary. I expect a call from our IT department any moment now.
Awwwwww….you are so CUTE. I like innocence.
Me too. Especially on the internet.
It’s a very attractive quality in a commenter.
“It’s a very attractive quality in a commenter.”
What, is it not attractive in guys, Sarajean?
Cause if it is I’ll have to learn NOT to make random innuendo jokes around my friends…
@ Igor – unexpected innocence can be endearing, though well-done doubles entendres can be effective as well, don’t worry …
That clump is a nugget of some pretty decent looking pot. 420 is a code word referring to getting high, it came from a group of kids in the 70s who would get together at 4:20pm after school to smoke up.
And, before that, it was the local police code for marijuana smoking in progress. The kids adopted it. For some reason, I find that endearing.
“giving messages” is just £337$p34|{ for sexting
I never knew marijuana looked so much like a moldy sea-sponge. Huh.
This ad is HIGH-larious!
I am concerned however, because it appears that this guy has a real bad case of moldy palms. Most likely he contracted it while playing Dungeons and Dragons all by himself (Father O’Brian said this would happen).
Break out the fast-actin’-Tinactin for crying out loud Sparky! Although apparently, according to the ad, he prefers to shave it off so bring your Shick ladies. Looks like you’ll have your work cut out for you around 4:21.
He’s D & D free, which means he’s cooler than “geeks who play that” either that or he’s a ****ing moron who doesn’t realize that marijuana is a DRUG and has no idea of what d & d free means…
Maybe this itself is a sting?
“I’m just here to make sure this guy knows the DANGER of placing CL ads for drugs. Drugs are BAD. I just wanted to make sure he knew that…REALLY.”
And as a public service, you could confiscate his dangerous, not-a-drug pot and destroy it. In a series of small fires.
“Drugs are bad, Mmm’kay.”
I think he means the drugs and diseases are free (as in “I’m a ‘free drugs and diseases kind of guy'”).
He’s so messed up, he can’t find tonight. It’s at the end of the day, where it usually is, guy.
Do cold baby chickens really respond to spoken messages?
bbws = baby bird with shivers?
“I’m a ‘free drugs and diseases’ kind of guy”
Whatever happened to the edit button?
Maybe this’ll be the guy’s first time smoking… therefore he’s D & D free SO FAR… He’s looking for someone to do his first drugs with, and they’ll see where it goes…maybe they’ll get their first diseases too!
Am I the only one who thinks the clump of weed is photoshopped into the picture? I’m not sure what that says, but it might be dedication.
When women fantasize about ideal sex, it always involves a really stoned dude going down on them.
It’s right there in Kinsey’s report.
I just crossed my legs thinking about that … horrifying moment when someone performing oral favors suddenly gets the munchies.
OW!
Thanks, Monica!
Thanks for ruining potheads for Igor. 😛
@Lola Horrifying! But Buddy getting the giggles would be pretty uncomfortable too.
@Igor Sorry! 🙂
Monica – giggles would be pretty bad, too, although less painful than the other possibility.
Is that a wedding ring?!
It’s on the wrong finger to be a traditional wedding ring. Of course,Free D&D Sparky may not be a traditionalist.
I really, really want this to be a police sting operation. The guy seems to have the necessary height credentials and his partiality to Donuts can be explained away as the munchies. Also – he is good at giving messages – walkie talkies obviously (420 is just the next logical step after ’10-4′)…..we’re throught the looking glass here people.
Curse my inferior spelling……my mother would be so disappointed.
I was brought up better than that – sorry everyone.
Yeah besides the “wtf” aspect the whole approach is pretty skincrawl. I have to wonder if the guy knows any actual women.
You mean apart from his mom?
If you’re a bbw but not shaved, will he just scorn you and laugh? Withhold his pot?
It’s a very specific combination. Oo, maybe that’s what the extra ‘s’ is for: ‘big beautiful women shaved and shaved’. That makes sense now.
Wait. Isn’t one of those “d” supposed to stand for drugs?
How is smoking pot being drug-free?
I’m confused. Is that a wedding ring?
I have to say, that’s an attractive use of the iPhone’s “selectively colorize your black-and-white photo” ap.
Nice photo shopping abilities Sparky. This has to be some sort of secret sting operation. Guess it’s slightly better than watching Titanic.
Hey, that’s Titanics buddy! But only if you have a big condom.
as a former pot head, i kinda admire him for thinking of putting out an invite on craig’s list. as a stoner in the ’80’s and ’90’s i had to put in more of an effort to find someone to get high with and watch James Bond movies.
so, does anyone here want to get stoned and watch james bond movies with me? just thought i’d throw that out there? :>
Any females seriously responding to that ad have to be smoking something quite a bit stronger than just marijuana.
I realize that marijuana is, in fact, a drug, but when someone says they’re drug and disease free, my mind usually turns to harder drugs like crack and heroin. Just like my mind turns to AIDS at the mention of “disease” and not diabetes. I mean, if you get technical, caffeine is a drug, and we all know that 95% of American adults have a serious addiction to black tar coffee in the morning!