You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: wtf?

  • YSaC, Vol. 403: Wait, I thought you meant a Volkswagen Thing.

    big golf thing

    it is a huge round thing used to hit balls into golf balls babee base balls and foot balls
    its free come and get it
    call me xxx-xxx-xxxx

    I’ve always wanted a big golf thing. I’ve been looking for one for years! Now my life is complete.

    Wait, what?

    Thanks to val_veeta for sending this one in!

    A bit of administrivia: Some eagle-eyed commenters have already noticed the comment scoring option I added over the weekend. Each comment now has a small +1 symbol inside it, which you can click to indicate your approval of a comment. I thought it might be fun — hope you enjoy it!

  • YSaC, Vol. 400: Birds of paradise?

    looking for a A-bird or two

    I am looking for an Attack Bird or a pair of Attack Birds to watch my home while I am at work. I have bad allergies and cannot have an attack dog or cat so I thought a bird would be my next best choice.
    Maybe an attack snake but I dont think you can train those like a bird? If you can please let me know.

    thanks Thomas

    I’ll get to the bird thing in a minute; I’m kind of stuck on the concept of an attack cat. I mean, I’ve known some mean cats in my time, but short of having a panther in your living room, I’m not entirely sure that a cat will fulfill the function this fellow is looking for. I have two cats — yes, I’m halfway to crazy cat lady — and if someone they didn’t know came into the house, their reaction would be to think, “Are YOU going to feed me?” while they fell on the floor and exposed their soft floofy underbellies to the intruder.

    Okay, the bird thing. An attack bird. That you can train. Hmmm. Well, let’s see what we’ve got out there, shall we?

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  • YSaC, Vol. 388: Tonight, Judas will be played by Miffy.

    I like my little sweet peas..share your pets with me

    I just wanted to share and get word out to everyone, that me and brenda mullins, I am jack mullins have puppet pet shows in our home. You can bring your little snuggle bunny to participate but a $10 fee will apply. We have church related shows that are geared to the well being of the animal for its spiritual side and we even baptitize for $100. We take donations here in our trailer, I live w/ mrs mullins, my mom, and do have stuffed animals for sale ranging from $25 – $550.00.

    Here is a pic of my mee maw and a pic of me making and holding toys for the animals, well I gotta get ready for tonights show, I hope yall can come and help save a animal and keep it on the spiritual path.

    I love you. Jack Mullins

    I love you too, Jack Mullins, but ours is the love that dare not speak its name. You see, our love is forbidden because my life’s mission is to prevent people from dressing their animals up in clothing. You seem to not only be doing that, but charging people for the privilege of doing so, and then subjecting the animals to being participants in strange religiously-based pet puppet shows.

    Is there really a big problem with heathen animals? I mean, other than hermit crabs, because those things are obviously Satan’s minions.

    And am I the only wondering whether the “stuffed animals” they’re offering for sale are fabric animals or taxidermied versions of the animals who kept missing their lines in Lent’s Passion Play? Have you ever tried to teach a Siamese cat Latin? It’s not pretty.

    This was sent in by Allison — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. 376: Does whatever an effigy does …

    Adult Size Spider Man – $30

    This is a nice item to have in your home if you want to sit on the sofa as a decoy when you are not home. Or, you can let your busy kids jump all over him. You can even ride Spider Man in your vehicle when you are traveling alone because he looks so real. He is taking up a lot of space here and we just don’t have a need for him any more. So, take this good old boy home with you. He comes from a pet free and smoke free home. He is in excellent condition. He remains in the sitting position that you see in the below picture.

    376

    Yes, that’s right, you can use Spiderman here as a dummy passenger in your car so you can drive in the HOV lanes because he looks so realistic. The first thing a cop will think is “Oh, that car is fine; it has one person driving and Spiderman in the front seat. That’s totally normal.”

    And who would be stupid enough to rob a house when Spiderman is sitting on the couch watching TV? While wearing mittens and footies? With his head rolled back as though he’s been on a three-day meth and mezcal binge? NOBODY, that’s who. I mean, that would be like robbing a house protected by a lifesized cutout of Bea Arthur. It just isn’t done in civilized society.

    Thanks for the submission, Sara!

  • YSaC, Vol. 375: The starch helps you stay up.

    Not sure what these are

    Not sure what these are, they are too heavy to float, but they look like surf boards. They have legs under them like a very tall table. I think they are some sort of surf training tool. If you would like one or both of them, please let me know if you would like them.

    375

    This was posted in Boise, Idaho, which is well-known as the second surf capital of the USA. (Second only, of course, to Casper, Wyoming.)

    My mother — who to this day still irons her sheets — would have an apoplectic fit if she saw this.

  • YSaC, Vol. 372: Excuse me, stewardess? I speak jive.

    Heather sent in this first post, saying, “I don’t understand this at all. Is this code for something? Just trying to read it makes me a little dizzy.”

    Hasings a Wanting: Varg Doll

    Here is foodpeeple
    Has wants of these here mans:
    A ONE Varg doll from the Burzum. BUT and here and exclusive to here is CATCH: must have approvings for the from Varg himselfed.Tragedy happen: last Varg doll purchse?//? MOUNTAIN DUDE BOTTLE EXTRAED WITH DOGHAIRED STAPLED ONAND ALSO THIS VARGHEAD TAPE ON IT!11!!

    Serioused reply to thanks

    thanksed to you mans
    – foodpeeple

    A little digging on Craigslist turned up a few more “foodpeeple” posts, which were all made around the same time:

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