This was posted in the personals section of the Osaka Craigslist:
Hi – 28
Im a single guy looking for a japanese women whos single and willing to relocate. I work full time for [name] hight school its good pay but great benifits. Im also an auto painter by trade so i like to stay buesy. I got a little shop ware i do my paint work when needed or when i want alittle extra cash. But the school is my maine job and is a state job and will get a pesion when i retier and i do invest into a 403k. Im doing ok for my age. that my work life.
I enjoy movies and walks and going out for a bite to eat. I love all music as long as i can understand what thare trying say. I realy enjoy the import car seen i love imports so i need an import wife in my life lol (^V^) that will top me off i think. At this moment i share a home with my mother her and my father are going threw a brake up or devorces if u like. So im liveing with her to help her on some of her payments untile shes clear of them. I do drink but im not an every dayer and i smok i stoped for six months and just started agin. What was i thinking? I also enjoy sports indy car raceing and amrican foot ball and hockey. I played hockey all most my hole life.
Im only going to reply to pic with photos and no site links. Im looking for some one real. If you know some english thats a pluse but i do not juge people my thare lingo.
Other than that i to meet someone from japyland.
Please write some stuff about your self so i know your real and seroues to.
If you are a japanese women who is (are?) willing to relocate to a relatively small town in upstate NY to be with someone who works for a high school, you might want answers to the following questions:
What is his “maine” job at the high school? And what is a 403k? I’ve heard of 401(k)s, and 403(b)s, but this appears to be some combination of the two.
Import car = import wife. Nice. Do you expect to be able to trade her in after she’s got a few thousand miles on her?
I really hope he’s not a teacher. He doesn’t “juge people my thare lingo.” Too bad I do.
And … really? japyland? If he’s lucky, maybe she can teach him the Asian language.
well im a big beautiful lack women. i attend school at BCC studing science. I work part-time to pay for school. i just moved here about a week ago and im currently living with my aunt. i love to go out and have fun when i have the time. im a really kool person to meet and get along with. Imm looking for someone who knows how to treat a real women wit respect and kindness and is willing to be able to give me what i need. He must have a job and some education. Im looking for a real women not a boy.
Vanessa sends this one in, saying, “Is this poster supposed to be a big, beautiful black woman? Is the person in the picture supposed to be be black? Is this person looking for women or a man? I’m confused. Is this some new Craigslist scam that I don’t know about? Surely it can’t be a bot – they make more sense than this. On the other hand, I hope it is a bot, because then that means there isn’t someone out there who actually wrote this. Maybe someone can translate this one for me.”
I’ll try: The poster is currently attending school and working part-time nearby, which is why she just moved there a week ago, because she studs science. She is a big beautiful black women, which explains why she is white in the picture — she’s multiple women! All of her is looking for someone who can treat multiple women (like all of her) with respect — they want a man who is a real women, not a boy.
Possablly free please since its for school and work. I need old photos for a project and i would take care of them. I mean old letters and photos from before 1980’s. I am hoping i can get for free and possablly keep if that be ok. If not i would give back. Please tell me in an email what you got and how many. and if you want them back or not. P.S.
If you dont let me use them and possablly keep them for free i cant work with it sorry i dont have money to spend thats why i hope free please.
P.S.
Photos of the items in an email first so i see if it is usable. I need these so bad. My HS grade depends on them plus my college grade.
A couple of things here:
Since when did pre-1980s become OLD? [Now get the hell off my lawn, you damned kids.]
How can both a high school grade AND a college grade depend on whether or not you can find someone to give you/loan you old photographs and letters? How can it be for school and work? What kind of project is this?
How can someone possibly spell possibly as possablly? And possibly more important, how can that person possibly go to college?
I can just see someone thinking to themselves, “You know, we don’t actually USE those letters that Grandpa wrote to Grandma while he was in the Army during the war … let’s let this nice kid have them for his project so he can pass high school and college.”
Thanks to Martha — seriously, Martha, WHAT is wrong with people where you live?
Im still living at Home, and dont have a Car, so I will understand if no girl wants to answer me back,
but Im a very nice guy, not to nice, and loves Animals, Im realy into 80’s Hardcore Punk and Punk Rock,
not todays Bands, Im also a Musician, I like going out to Dinners to eat, renting Movies love Horror,
um I dont know wha else to say, I love my 2 Cats more then Life, and hate People who abuse Animals,
anyway if your interested in talking more and are not black, then contact me, and no my hair isnt long
anymore I have a Skater hair cut.
Wow! I like going out to dinners to eat too! What are the odds? Most people I know like to go out to dinners to bowl.
I’m also a big Fan of capitalizing random Nouns and of writing what looks like the Word “SUICIDE” at the Top of old Pictures of Myself.
But causing that needle-going-off-the-record sound by saying things like “… if your interested in talking more and are not black …”? Yeah, um, I’m not such a big fan of that. (Or of Skater hair cuts.)
Way to break in that “still single?” tag, there, buddy.
What’s even more strange is that this was originally posted on May 9th; as I’m writing this, it is May 29th. Once you’ve figured out how to post things on Craigslist, wouldn’t you maybe think about going back and deleting your test post? Maybe?
Oh you didn’t know? (your ass better call somebody)
Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.
… and just like fingerprints, there’s a gigantic nationwide database of tongue prints. That’s what the doctors are doing when they press on your tongue with that wooden stick — it’s taking your tongue print, and they are required by law to file those with the federal authorities. You don’t ever see anyone on CSI: Omaha getting identified that way because it’s a SECRET nationwide database, and they don’t want anyone to know it exists. You know, THEY. THEM. THE MAN, who has been keeping everyone down. Except James Brown. He gets up, get on up! Get up, get on up! Get on the scene, yeah, like a sex machine, yeah.
Oh, erm, sorry. Just got done playing that song on Rock Band 2. CAN WE TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE? (Yeah!) TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE? (Yeah!) HIT ME!! (Da DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM!)
Anyway, I’m terribly amused at trying to figure out the backstory behind this post. I think that the culprit got into the poster’s stash of Fun Dip, and left a grape tongue print on the Lik-a-Stik.
