YSaC, Vol. 339: Science!

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Pretty girl, Wheres her nice guy


well im a big beautiful lack women. i attend school at BCC studing science. I work part-time to pay for school. i just moved here about a week ago and im currently living with my aunt. i love to go out and have fun when i have the time. im a really kool person to meet and get along with. Imm looking for someone who knows how to treat a real women wit respect and kindness and is willing to be able to give me what i need. He must have a job and some education. Im looking for a real women not a boy.

Vanessa sends this one in, saying, “Is this poster supposed to be a big, beautiful black woman? Is the person in the picture supposed to be be black? Is this person looking for women or a man? I’m confused. Is this some new Craigslist scam that I don’t know about? Surely it can’t be a bot – they make more sense than this. On the other hand, I hope it is a bot, because then that means there isn’t someone out there who actually wrote this. Maybe someone can translate this one for me.”

I’ll try: The poster is currently attending school and working part-time nearby, which is why she just moved there a week ago, because she studs science. She is a big beautiful black women, which explains why she is white in the picture — she’s multiple women! All of her is looking for someone who can treat multiple women (like all of her) with respect — they want a man who is a real women, not a boy.

Does that help?

No? I didn’t think so. Science is doomed.

Comments

32 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 339: Science!”

  1. flaco Avatar
    flaco

    Where does the dog fit in? Is it another one of her personalities?

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Clearly it’s a representation of the racial elements of her different personalities.

      1. Victoria Avatar
        Victoria

        It’s a Chihuahua, so maybe it’s her Mexican side.

        1. R Avatar
          R

          I thought that was a cat.

        2. ghostcat Avatar

          It appears to be both. Perhaps the pet has multiple personalities as well.

  2. zombieBlanco Avatar

    I like that the writer only needs the real women not a boy to be “willing to be able to give me what i need“. At least one of her has really lowered expectations .

  3. Martha Avatar

    Uh. She’s a big beautiful LACK women, not black (the photos should have cleared that up for all of you).

    I think that means she came from IKEA. Maybe this will help http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/40104270

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Oh, Lack! So she requires assembly. And is probably missing a few screws. It all makes sense now.

    2. Maureen Avatar
      Maureen

      Oh gods, yes. Lack! So she’s vaguely Swedish (looks it, too!), cheap and simple (yup, probably!) and comes flat-packed for easy transportation (hmmmm).

      Just please don’t tell me she’s Swedish for common sense.

  4. Spizzlefish Avatar

    She also appears to be gnawing on that cat’s ear…

    1. Count Snarkula Avatar
      Count Snarkula

      “No, Mini-Me, we do not gnaw on our kitty, we just stroke him and love him.”

  5. Julia Avatar
    Julia

    Clearly, she is a big and lacking another woman, which is why she wants a woman, not a boy.

    1. Selurnis Avatar
      Selurnis

      I think she wants a real “women.” Kinda greedy, don’t you think? XP

  6. Charlene Avatar
    Charlene

    Exactly how is Skinny Mini there big?

    The woman in those photos would be lucky to weigh 110 lb. wringing wet.

  7. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar

    There is no genius free from some tincture of madness.

  8. Canaduck Avatar

    This has got to be some kind of bot. Has to. She’s neither big, nor black, and partway through the ad she switches from looking for “her nice guy” to looking for “a real women.” Also she seems to be some kind of chihuahua.

  9. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    I always feel bad for the people in the bot pictures.
    Somewhere is some poor animal-friendly young lady that has no idea that her pictures are being used in a laughably bad, gender-confusing dating ad.

    I like that the bot tries to throw in slang words (wit, kool) to seem more authentic and it just stands out more.

  10. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    Also, you know what they say, once you go lack you never go back.

  11. Lola Avatar
    Lola

    *scratches head*
    For the sake of humanity, I really hope this is a bot. Poor unsuspecting woman in the photos if it is, though.

  12. Pademelon Avatar
    Pademelon

    Ok clearly I’m a nerd. BUT my favorite part is that she’s “studing” science. Perhaps THAT’S why she’s looking for “a real women not a boy.”

  13. TheBookLover Avatar
    TheBookLover

    It doesn’t necessarily say big BLACK woman, right? I think the “lack” is something like.. you know, her life is lacking some meaningful and deep relationship.

    Haha.. I don’t think the word “black” fits in at all!

    But still. A loser-ish person, nevertheless.

  14. ??? Avatar
    ???

    But what about the kitty? Why is she biting it?

  15. dh Avatar
    dh

    It makes perfect sense! She wants a man who’s really a woman!

  16. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar

    I’m every woman. It’s in this ad.

    1. Windrose Avatar

      Me, too, Dave! 8) I used to be a lack woman, too, but I got better..

  17. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    Let’s analize this.
    This person may be from Kentuky. Her use of lack may be a giveaway. Lack toadally, fer shore, lack ya know? Also by the use of “kool” (Kentucky Online Offender Listing).
    The first sentence should read: Well I’m big, beautiful, and like women. That is why she wants a nice guy as well. One who will go along with her affinity for women.
    As for the pictures, these tell us more about what she lacks…um likes.
    1. She likes doggie.
    2. She likes blondes.
    3. She likes to eat pu***.
    This person seems to be a tri-sixual. She’ll try anything sixual.*
    But KOOL is probably why she is no longer looking for a boy.

    * I used sixual so’s this site wouldn’t be flagged as a pr0n site, you’re welcome.

    1. Brer Fox Avatar
      Brer Fox

      “Let’s analize this.”

      *snort* anal eyes

  18. P-rex Avatar
    P-rex

    She blonded me with science!

  19. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
    Demon Duck of Doom

    At first it seemed odd that the cat and dog have very similar markings, until I realized that the women is a shape shifter. Just as her animal manifestations are both black and white, so is the human one, it’s just that the part shown in the photos is mostly white. If you look at the photo on the right, however, you can just make out the top edge of the big beautiful black part.

    “If that’s true”, I hear you ask, “then how can both the human and cat forms be in the same picture?” Well folks, that’s just a red herring (what’s black and white and red all over?). Your ordinary woman shifter can only be one thing at a time, but a real women can be all that and a bag of chips (to go with the herring). If you don’t believe me, ask the science studs.

    Either that or it’s the most inept bait-and-switch ever.

  20. DigitalAxis Avatar
    DigitalAxis

    Yes, truly science is domed.

    1. Windrose Avatar

      Is there an angel on top of the dome? 8)

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