You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. 207: The horse creeps me out too.

    lots of crap oh and some cool stuff to

    i am hoping to not have to throw this stuff away becaust it can be fun my son just has to much stuff n toys and so do i so keep an eye out there will be lots more stuff for free soon but please if you want any of this stuff please come get it my cat wont use the cat beds (she likes mine) the horse creeps the hell out of me but it still works yes it has damage but it hase never hurt my son it even makes noises the chair needs a little tlc or saw to turn it in to fire wood the basket would be good for a plant or something on a porch the computer moniter works just fine i got a better one the sponge bob tent is indoor out door not waer proof but if you had a little one then they will love it no damage we just have like 10 of thees thingsthe sit n spin very self explanatory except to my 4 year old who just cant grasp the concept yes that is a frog back pack with wheels and exstendable handle hidable back pack straps n all dont get to excited in all its about a foot tall the basketball hoop is ment for the pool but being as we dont have a pool where i live we just used it in doors inflates and folds up flat and twists up small some how no holes on ball and if it gets a hole it can easly be replaced by a beach ball just put it in the fabric cover the pirats of the carribean sleep over sleeping bag was never used he got this one ans a cars one at the same birthday (he likes cars) the pig is a chair along with the spiderman thing but it makes noise that is if you put batries in it i never did the blue dog is just that blue (from blues clues)if you want anything feel free to email me at xxxx_xxx@yahoo.com

    Kirsten sends us this one, saying, “There was no picture with this ad.  I guess this Craigslister was confident that her illustrative writing would give us a mental image of her junk pile.”

    So here’s a contest: In one breath, read the above aloud as quickly as you can and see how far you get through it, and post your results.

  • YSaC, Vol. 206: I hope they cuff his hands in the front.

    Female front desk clerk to help me win nude bet

    Hello, some friends have made a fun bet with me to stay at a hotel and lock myself nude out of my room and then have to go to the front desk that way to ask for a spare key. The bet is worth $200 and I would be glad to give you $100 of it to let me come down to the desk to win the bet. It is just all good, clean fun and hopefully would be a fun/funny story for you to tell afterwards. Please respond to this ad if you would be willing to help me win the bet, get a good laugh (and split the winnings). Thanks, Gary

    If I worked at a hotel, I would agree to this … and then get in touch with Gary’s friends and tell them that for $100 more, I would pretend I didn’t know who he was when he came into the lobby naked, and refuse to give Gary the key to his room, AND let them record it. Wouldn’t that be good, clean fun? I know that would be a funny story for me to tell afterwards.

    All right, hands up — who else thinks there aren’t actually any “friends” involved, and Gary has concocted this friends/bet story to satisfy his own weird fantasy?

    This was found in the Food/Bev/Hosp jobs section by Sara — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. 205: The finest, handcrafted Italian French furniture.

    An update! Qu’elle surprise … for some inexplicable reason, some French Prudential furniture that was listed earlier on Craigslist did not sell (mon Dieu!), so they’ve dropped the price and are trying again.

    french prudential corner china closet – $300

    1 corner china closet ,french prudential

    call any time #xxx-xxx-xxxx

    french prudential furniture set – $4000

    For $4000 or best offer you will be getting 4 piece sofa set ,3 piece table set,a small bar stand,two lamps,1 big mirrow . that’s a 11 piece set .all french prudential al italian made,it could be sold seperately or togethere

    call any time #xxx-xxx-xxxx

    It’s nice to see that some things don’t change, including a complete disregard for common rules of punctuation and spelling, n’est-ce pas? However, we now find out that French Prudential furniture is made by some Italian named Al.

    And I’m kind of liking the word “togethere”. It implies that everyone in a group is all in the same place, and is somewhere else … over there. They are togethere. It is, how the French say, le mot juste.

  • YSaC, Vol. 204: Well, that’s all right then.

    do u need hair extension ? i need a foot massage, pedicure. and fren – $1500

    Hi my name is rene I do hair extensions for model, strippers,porno stars, etc. The best virgin hair w the best techniques. I need u to do my pedicure. Foot massage, frenchtip. These job have to be done at my home. If you do not have the skills to do it , do not try to practice on me, but if you have a talking bird it would be acceptable.

    Of course it would. Talking birds make everything better. Not even remotely qualified to perform surgery? Get a talking bird, and you’ll be doing appendectomies in an hour. No idea how to repair cars? You need yourself a talking bird! Incapable of shooting from the three-point line? Talking bird.

    Too bad I only have Tahiti Sam … I’ll never get to practice my mad pedicure skillz.

    Submitted by Lauren — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. 203: What has been seen cannot be un-seen.

    Some of you may remember this post, which involved someone trying to sell these hideous “Garfield” and “Teddy Bear” costumes.

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    I just wanted to highlight something that “Kelly” pointed out in the comments to that post:

    “Whoa, is it just me or does the guy in the bear suit have his junk hanging out through a hole in the crotch?”

    What think ye, YSaC-ers? Have we been dick-rolled?

  • YSaC, Vol. 202: I’d like you to meet my brother.

    Someone to do my Job

    I have 2 jobs, a day job and a night job, and I need someone to do my night job. My night job sucks cause it cuts into my drinking and jacking around time. I am looking for someone to do my night job whilst I be goin out partying and whatever else…I will pay you half of what I make to do the job. If this works out, I might look around for another job for you too.

    The pursuit of life, liberty, and jacking around time is what made this country great. That, and the spirit of outsourcing.

    Too bad I couldn’t hook him up with this person:

    let’s trade…I need a

    full time permanent job for my brother…he is draining my resourses. I have his resume and will forward it to a person that can help. we can negotiate what we will barter. thanks in advance.

    If you outsource your brother to an outsourcer, does that make you an outsorcerer? (Or a pimp?)

    Thanks to Christine and bmillis for the submissions!