You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 206: I hope they cuff his hands in the front.

Written by

drmk

in

Female front desk clerk to help me win nude bet

Hello, some friends have made a fun bet with me to stay at a hotel and lock myself nude out of my room and then have to go to the front desk that way to ask for a spare key. The bet is worth $200 and I would be glad to give you $100 of it to let me come down to the desk to win the bet. It is just all good, clean fun and hopefully would be a fun/funny story for you to tell afterwards. Please respond to this ad if you would be willing to help me win the bet, get a good laugh (and split the winnings). Thanks, Gary

If I worked at a hotel, I would agree to this … and then get in touch with Gary’s friends and tell them that for $100 more, I would pretend I didn’t know who he was when he came into the lobby naked, and refuse to give Gary the key to his room, AND let them record it. Wouldn’t that be good, clean fun? I know that would be a funny story for me to tell afterwards.

All right, hands up — who else thinks there aren’t actually any “friends” involved, and Gary has concocted this friends/bet story to satisfy his own weird fantasy?

This was found in the Food/Bev/Hosp jobs section by Sara — thanks!

Comments

47 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 206: I hope they cuff his hands in the front.”

  1. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    His friends want him to lock HIMSELF out of the room?

    They’re inviting cheating.

    If I were him, I’d hide a key in my rectum and just wait outside the door for a bit. Well, I probably wouldn’t, but this guy could probably handle it.

  2. candace Avatar
    candace

    (Raises hand) – yeah, what kind of friends go through this much planning for a bet?! This kind of thing would come about when the guys are already AT the hotel (most likely drunk)!

  3. Mandee Avatar
    Mandee

    I worked at a hotel. Several, actually. Sadly, this doesn’t surprise me. FDCs get all sorts of odd requests.

  4. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    D / DM – your rectum scares me. Have you seen hotel ‘keys’ in the last decade? If you can shove a 3 1/2 inch wide card in your rectum, I have someone you should meet.

    1. Tankerbell Avatar
      Tankerbell

      D/DM – your rectum scares me.

      Diet Coke, ladies and gents, hurts when forcefully expelled through one’s nose.

  5. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    That’s why I said I probably wouldn’t do it, but the guy who posted this ad should. Because I really have no sympathy for his ass.

  6. Manda Avatar
    Manda

    This post is all shades of bizarre! If this is true then these have to be the most unimaginative group of individuals ever. Basically his friends are willing to pay him $200 hundred dollare to RENT a room in a hotel and then pretend to be locked out of his room naked? How much does he have to pay for the room because that’s going to have to cut into his profits….and then by the time he pays his would be accomplice how much money is he really getting???

    1. Fraulein N Avatar
      Fraulein N

      I *think* he wants the clerk to be in on it so he doesn’t have to pay for the hotel room. Or so he can keep the money his friends give him for the hotel room? Allegedly, I mean, because neither scenario makes any sense, so basically this whole thing screams: creeper.

      An unimaginative creeper at that, because if this is some kind of fetish, why doesn’t he just check in to a hotel for real, make sure there’s a woman at the front desk and then go for it? Why am I better at planning this than he is? Jeez.

  7. SilvorMoon Avatar
    SilvorMoon

    If there isn’t some weird fantasy involved, then why does he specifically ask for a FEMALE front desk clerk? It doesn’t say anywhere that this is part of the bet….

  8. Scott Avatar
    Scott

    When I worked at a hotel we had a fat, drunk, naked, Scottish guy lock himself out of his room. That was a special night.

    1. tigprincess Avatar
      tigprincess

      Some guys get all the luck! Or maybe not?

  9. Metis Avatar
    Metis

    Came in to say what SilvorMoon already pointed out: has to be some fetish, or what would it matter if the front desk clerk was female or not? Creeper!

  10. El Kev Avatar
    El Kev

    I’ve worked in several hotels and motels, and I had a drunk chick try to offer me a “bj” once. You know, when someone does that stereotype of moving their hand in an up and down motion while moving their tongue in their mouth? Well, she was so liquored up that she got it wrong. Had her hand near her waist.

    Oh, and if I had read this, I’d have responded and talked him into it. Only I would have called the cops on him.

  11. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Word. Front desk clerk here, enjoying the website behind the front desk. I once had a guest ask me to photocopy the face of the television remote. Honestly. The bet could be real, kids are not that smart these days….

  12. SJ Avatar
    SJ

    I saw this over and over on craigslist. I wonder if I happen to live in the same area as the submitter, or if it’s spam.

  13. sarajean80 Avatar
    sarajean80

    Just when I thought fetishes could not get more strangely specific, along comes Naked Hotel Sparky.*

    Way to lower the bar for the rest of humanity!

    *There’s one action figure I have no earthly desire to see.

    1. Lara Avatar
      Lara

      I would buy it, snap off a key part of Naked Hotel Sparky’s anatomy, and then mail it to Sparky/Gary in a box.

  14. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    Could it be, Sparky is compensating for something?

    Tiny brain, maybe?

  15. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    I think it would be fun to call the police so the happen to be there when Sparky comes to the desk naked.

    1. Lara Avatar
      Lara

      aww, someone from the past said this. wait, I’ve confused myself with that sentence.

  16. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    I kind of thought Sparky was looking for a woman named Gary to do this. If he is, Craigslist is the way to find her.

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      “Hey,baby – wanna play Gary the Front Desk Clerk and Sparky the Naked Man?”

      We have seen weirder things on CraigsList.

    2. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      I was hoping, maybe, just maybe, that Spark’ was just picking on the last town in Indiana before you hit the Chicagoland area.

      But, it also occurs that Spark’ may be banned from all hospitality venues in Illinois, and thus IN is now on the list . . .

  17. Addicted Reader Avatar
    Addicted Reader

    I bet Gary thinks the clerk will be so impressed by seeing his nude body that she’ll take a key and let herself into his room after her shift.

    NEWS FLASH: If you’re limp, you’ll look silly and unimpressive. If you’re not limp, AHH PERVERT RUN AWAY!!!!!

  18. Mindfield Avatar
    Mindfield

    So the question remains, does the bet allow him to cup, or does he have to approach the front desk dangling? And does he have to take the elevator down or can he take the less travelled stairs? Inquiring minds don’t want to know.

  19. TypoMagic Avatar
    TypoMagic

    It’s rare, but when you roll nude in craps, everybody wins.

    For those who missed the “s” in craps, that’s the other situation where everybody loses.

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      I read that as, “Roll nude in caps.”

      I wondered if that was like skinny dipping in alphabet soup?

      1. Astrognash Avatar
        Astrognash

        Don’t you mean “ROLL NUDE IN CAPS.”?

      2. CapnMac Avatar
        CapnMac

        Hmm, paper caps; black-powder percussion caps; or rifle/pistol primer caps . . .

        Nope. the inquiring mind Does Not Want to Know (unless clubs for blunt-force-trauma correction of Spark’ are offered).

  20. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan


    The Hilton lady seen his dong,
    Doo-da, Doo-da
    The Hilton staff said it’s one inch long
    Oh, de doo-da day

    Goin’ to run all night
    Goin’ to run all day
    I bet my money that Bob failed showin’ bag
    Somebody bet he would stay

    Oh, along came Billy with super glue, of course
    Doo-da, doo-da
    Some to the key hole and they double crossed,
    Oh, de doo-da day

    Goin’ to run all night
    Goin’ to run all day
    I bet my money on high bail price tag
    Somebody bet on the jail stay

  21. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Why does Gary have trouble meeting women?

    a. He wants to be naked when they first see him.

    b. He has a lot of juvenile buddies.

    c. He doesn’t mind paying for an evening with a woman.

    d. All of the above.

    1. Astrognash Avatar
      Astrognash

      What is Elebenty-Four, Alex?

      1. Laurelhach Avatar
        Laurelhach

        What is Toronto?

        1. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan

          The Lone Ranger’s side kick in Canada?

    2. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      e. The misogynistic tattoo on his sagging beer belly.

  22. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Hammy, because you are such a special part of YSaC, here’s a full frontal Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Hot L Baltimore!

    1. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      *Makes a squeaky toy sound*

      *PECIL, PECIL, PECIL*

  23. Corey Avatar
    Corey

    Planned spontaneity is silly. Especially when its hastily planned. Is it just me, or does this appear to be a transparent scheme to implicate his nakedness in a hotel room and desk clerk? Act like a professional for once. If there’s one thing questionable women don’t like, it’s waffling. Either go all in with your buddies basically paying for an evening kind of lady, or talk them down to $125 and forget about the room. Your margin increases with less overhead if you just strip in the second floor hallway. Not that hard. Sheesh, it’s like you slept through hooker acquisition/prurient bartering in Junior college.

  24. SisterTaco Avatar
    SisterTaco

    Holy hell, is that the real Corey?! Can I have an autograph?

    1. mudslicker Avatar
      mudslicker

      The “real” minty corey used a lower-case “c”.

    2. Corey Avatar
      Corey

      Fake Corey.

      1. SisterTaco Avatar
        SisterTaco

        Ah, poo.

    3. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      That’s a different one; a better, non-asshat Corey.

      1. LimeLolly Avatar
        LimeLolly

        Yeah, I like him. Can we keep him?

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Have you read his blog? How could we not keep him?

        2. SisterTaco Avatar
          SisterTaco

          He has a blog? Where have I been? Oh, right… under that rock.

      2. Corey Avatar
        Corey

        Uhh. If you are gonna trek over the the portrait of a life in free fall and not snark…Then we’ll have problems SJ. Apart from that, I’ll have a slight commenter crush. But including that…Problems!

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