Decorator Redecorating!!!!! This is a one of a kind sideboard. Very ornate! It is hand carved with guilted gold, solid marble top is 60″long, 24″wide, 32″ high
I know exactly what you’re thinking — how does one achieve the decorating nirvana of “guilted gold”?
Well, we here at YSaC are all about education*, so I’ve done years worth of research into this particular phenomenon and am happy to share it with you.
The process of guilting something in gold is very laborious. It involves my mother standing over it and saying things like, “Don’t worry about calling me, I know you’re busy” and “No, really, it’s okay that you got married without me there; you’re just my only daughter.”
Eventually, the guilt builds up in layers. Done properly, the guilted gold shines so brightly that it reflects all of the disappointment on her face. (“All my friends have grandchildren.”) Once it’s completed, the sealing layer is applied (“Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here in the retirement home in the dark”).
So you can see what an intensive and soul-crushingly painstaking process guilting gold is. Really, would it kill you to pay $3,000 to keep your mother’s love intact? After all she’s done for you? Selfish ingrates.
BED BUGS ARE BACK!…everything needs to be gone in 2 weeks!! – $1
I’m moving out of state in a few weeks due to hygienic difficulties…I need to sell everything!!!
couch $200
white bookcase $70
bedframe/mattress and side table $250 (not until last week of June)
oak bookshelf $15
wicker chair from Pier1 $60
EVERYTHING IS IN GREAT CONDITION!!
I will be having an garage sale through RSVP only- on Sunday June 14 all day!!!
books, clothes, desk w/ file, desk chair, misc kitchens and bathroom treasures!!
You’re moving.
Because of bedbugs.
And so you’re selling … your couch and your bed.
*scratches*
No thanks. I think I’ll try to find another bed on Craigslist. There must be other ads for beds on Craigslist, right?
free bike it wokes nice
giving out to any1
cant ride no more
This is, disappointingly, one syllable (and one profound meaning) short of a haiku.
I think more people should write their Craigslist ads in poetic meters. Imagine reading ads in iambic tetrameter:
The dainty water fountain and
The graceful neck of swans aloft
Conceal the greater truth since it’s
A lamp with dolphins, damn it all.
And speaking of the rare dolphin-swan lamp-fountain, Althea sent me an email pointing out that the “swan fountain” had been recently relisted with the exact same text (and same price). Obviously they would have had more success selling it if they used my quatrain above.
i have a confertable set of couches that i give away, this couches are in fear condition. but is free no purchase so come and pick up. bring truck and someone can help you . [address]. call before you come. you can come from 6 p.m to 8 p.m but call firts.
Lindsay sends this one in, saying:
“*ring ring* Yes, hello, Firts? Hi there, Firts, I’m calling about the free set of couch. Is they still available? Ah, wonderful. Now tell me something, Firts, is they indeed as confertable as you say? When you mention fear condition, are we talking Nightmare on Elm Street fear or The Grudge 2 fear? There’s a huge difference, you know. And how is it that I’m able to call you when you don’t list your phone number?”
Thanks, Lindsay, although I think you’re being a little hard on poor Firts. He’s obviously in a fear condition over those ugly couches. And it’s obvious how you’re able to call him — the call is coming from inside the house!
Anyway, since I’m all about philanthropy and doing good deeds here at YSaC, I’ve matched Firts — who has couches he’s clearly afraid of and would like to give away — with the fellow in this next post:
do you want to hang somewhere for memorial day? – 40
Date: 2009-07-03, 11:17AM EDT
come and join us for memorial day starts today and tomorrow alot of drinks and food, music all are welcome
Dan sends this one in, saying, “Notice the date. I can understand confusing Labor Day with Memorial Day, maybe. But … it’s the 4th of July! How do you get the date confused?”
Maybe they’re just getting an early start on 2010’s Memorial Day celebration. See, it says it starts today and tomorrow — it doesn’t say when it ends. Besides, this was posted in w4m. They’re obviously looking for men with enough, erm, stamina to keep partying.
Oh come ON, people. It’s the FOURTH OF JULY. It’s right there in the name. It’s not like the Fourth of July takes place on September 23rd or something. Nobody else could make that mistake, right? Right?
