YSaC, Vol. 352: “Born on Memorial Day” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

2009 July 4

do you want to hang somewhere for memorial day? – 40

Date: 2009-07-03, 11:17AM EDT

come and join us for memorial day starts today and tomorrow alot of drinks and food, music all are welcome

Dan sends this one in, saying, “Notice the date. I can understand confusing Labor Day with Memorial Day, maybe. But … it’s the 4th of July! How do you get the date confused?”

Maybe they’re just getting an early start on 2010’s Memorial Day celebration. See, it says it starts today and tomorrow — it doesn’t say when it ends. Besides, this was posted in w4m. They’re obviously looking for men with enough, erm, stamina to keep partying.

Oh come ON, people. It’s the FOURTH OF JULY. It’s right there in the name. It’s not like the Fourth of July takes place on September 23rd or something. Nobody else could make that mistake, right? Right?

Beach Rentals — Perfect for Memorial Day! (Hilton Head)

Date: 2009-07-03, 8:26AM EDT

Plan your long weekend in Hilton Head! Find and book amazing hotels, resorts, activities and more at:

[crappy tourist trap site]

They could just be advertising now to avoid the rush in ten months.

Professional & Fast Web Design. Full Website B4 Memorial Day (We teach how to manage and edit content)

Date: 2009-07-02, 7:33AM PDT

commerce web site,flash design,website design software,graphic design firms,website design company,websi

One thing you can say about this company — they’re not overly optimistic about how fast they can get a project done. “Full website? Hmmmm, well …. I guess we could get that done before Memorial Day.” I’m also amused by the fact that their ad has a news item from Christmas in it. They really don’t know what time of year it is.

*Memorial Day* FURNITURE SALE!….50-80% less than traditional stores

Date: 2009-07-03, 3:17PM EDT

I’m not going to post the whole ad, because if you’ve ever looked at shady furniture dealer ads on Craigslist before you know what this ad looked like.

Anyway, to those readers in the United States, happy Memorial Day Fourth of July. Go forth and celebrate the independence of our nation by having a hamburger and watching qualified people blow things up. Just do me one small favor — as you’re half-listening to the “Stars and Stripes Forever” for the thousandth time, take a moment to really stop and listen to it — and then be grateful to the french horn players, who have the most boring part imaginable in that piece. They’re suffering through endless offbeats for YOUR freedom.

23 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 July 4

    Yes, today I will be Memorializing about our forefathers fight for freedom, and will rest easy knowing that if they could have, they’d probably be drinking a beer watching fireworks too.

    Adores: 0
  2. 2009 July 4
    dogface permalink

    So, drmk, I take it you’re a French horn player? πŸ˜‰ I was lucky. In middle and high school, I was a trumpet player, so I didn’t get stuck with a suck part the one time I played it. πŸ˜€

    Today, I’m gonna be watching the Twilight Zone marathon to Memorialize the day that Santa Claus came down from the heavens to help George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, and JFK defeat the British with the help Colt 1851 Navy Revolver sent straight from the magical land of France, where the unicorns and bries frolic and scamper. And William Shatner was there, too. πŸ˜€

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 July 4
      drmk permalink

      Maybe. πŸ˜‰ Or maybe it’s just friends and loved ones who have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous offbeats, and I’m just trying to be sympathetic.

      Wait, William Shatner is French? Well, that explains everything. πŸ˜‰

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 July 4
        dogface permalink

        Well, I figured if it wasn’t you, it would be a friend or family member or something. πŸ˜€

        William Shatner transcends such petty things as country boundaries and whatnot. He’s like the air; he’s everywhere and is absolutely necessary to the well-being of all humans. X3

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 July 4
        bonni permalink

        to dogface: do NOT tell me I’ve been inhaling William Shatner for all of my time on this earth!!! At least say he’s like freak undersea mold spores or something!!!

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 5
      jackie31337 permalink

      I was thinking the same thing. Playing French horn is not without its dangers, though. In high school, I played Cinderella in a production of Into the Woods. One night when I ran onstage and “lost” my shoe, I accidentally launched it into the orchestra pit. It landed in the French horn player’s lap. She kindly handed it back to the girl playing the baker’s wife.

      Adores: 0
  3. 2009 July 4
    Jen permalink

    I’d much rather have the French horn part than the piccolo part. That thing was fiendish.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 4
      Pianodan permalink

      No, no you wouldn’t.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 July 28
      Jinx permalink

      In college they gave the piccolo part to the Tuba section, because we RAWKED!!!

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 11
      arallyn permalink

      As a viola, I can commiserate fully the pain a french horn player suffers.

      Unfortunately many of my comrades (and french horn players) in the state youth orchestra’s highest tier still had the habit of ONLY practicing their orchestral pieces. So when it came time for a french horn to *star* in a piece (Steppes of Central Asia by Borodin), they totally bungled it.

      Admittedly, I would have, too. I was a really un-dedicated musician. How I got to that level and actually made money playing at some points is beyond me.

      Adores: 0
  4. 2009 July 4
    bonni permalink

    I am tellin’ you . . . (as one of the aforementioned noble hornplayers . . .) I played the S&SF in a summertime orchestra a few summers ago. Our close personal friend Merle J. Isaac arranged this band march for orchestra, and then we were stuck playing it 40 years later, go figure.

    Anyway: we got to the trio, and we didn’t have afterbeats, but half notes. Hunh. And they were like weird chromatic half notes. Whoa. And it took me seven measures to realize . . . HE HAD GIVEN THE HORNS THE MELODY IN THE TRIO. I had never even SEEN the melody written out before! I had no idea that’s what it looked like. So that was kind of exciting, like one small slice of independence for the hornplayers (in sixteen bars or less). But yes, it did go back to sucking, after that.

    Anyway, happy Memorican Day! πŸ™‚

    Adores: 1
  5. 2009 July 5
    Jaime permalink

    I’ve gotta agree with Jen. I played the piccolo part in high school. Of course, it probably wouldn’t have been so bad if the other piccolo player could’ve stayed in tune and in time! Ugh…. she ruined that song for me.

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 July 5
    Mrphysic permalink

    Is the top posting the entire ad? Because if it is – apart from all the other blunders – it doesn’t say WHERE to go. It harrasses you in the title ‘Do you want to hang somewhere…?’ and then gives you no idea of where that somewhere might be……..cruel.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 July 6
      DooeyD permalink

      I was wondering the same thing… where is this party happening? I have this image in my head of the party-throwers getting all excited for their massive holiday bash, buying cartloads of potato chips and hot dogs at Costco — “Nah, man, there’ll be tons of people! We posted it on Craigslist!” — and then no one shows up. And now they have days worth of leftover food…

      Adores: 1
  7. 2009 July 6
    'sme permalink

    Man, I used to play the french horn. Eight years of off-beats. Soooo wrong. x.x I do miss it, though.

    Adores: 0
  8. 2009 July 6
    Lola permalink

    “Wanna come to our Memorial Day party? We won’t tell you where it is and we’ll have it on a different holiday.”

    Adores: 2
  9. 2009 August 7
    ??? permalink

    Is it me, or are there a boatload of horm players on this site? Me, too. Oh, and the mellophone.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 8
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Horn players? Here? Never.
      *shifty look*

      (Shhh… you’ll blow our cover.)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 July 4
        ToBScholarly permalink

        “BLOW cover”… horn players…

        Just wanted you to know I appreciate a good pun.

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 October 23
      Sam permalink

      Me too, best instruments ever. And I’m glad to see we finally get some love for our suffering…

      Adores: 0
  10. 2009 August 19
    Hiyame permalink

    I have to say, the last part of drmk’s commentary made me laugh so hard. I thought of every pundit ever who talks about “we did blank for you freedoms!” It amused me very much. DRMK FOR PRESIDENT!

    Adores: 1
  11. 2009 September 8

    Depends what you’re comemorating for a “Memorial Day” I suppose

    Adores: 0
  12. 2009 September 8

    On second thoughts, you guys are welcome to your independance…

    Adores: 0

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