You Suck at Craigslist

Category: furniture

  • YSaC, Vol. 227: Does it come in green?

    Need to sell ASAP

    I will take 200.00
    Price Reduced

    Tan color
    Very sturdy
    3 years old

    Call today xxx xxx xxxx

    Emily sends this one along, saying, “A tan what? This was not accompanied by a photograph or explanation. We figured it was a stocky toddler.”

  • YSaC, Vol. 219: Protected by dirt and junk since 2003.

    HEAD BOARD FOR WATER BED

    IT WILL CLEAN UP

    219

    Well, thank goodness. Tell it to start in the bathroom — it’s a mess in there!

    And if this wasn’t the fantasy bedroom furniture you had in mind while you were searching Craigslist, there’s always this, below the cut:

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  • YSaC, Vol. 216: But not cerise. Nobody uses cerise.

    Just in case you thought the last French Preventional entry was a fluke (which, I have to admit, I did!), here’s evidence to the contrary:

    French prevential 5 Drawer Chest-of-drawers / real wood – $35

    Five drawer,french prevential,real wood,chest-of-drawers.Needs a little TLC. Asking 35.00. If interested, please call [xxx-xxx-xxxx]. Please see piture.

    216

    At least they didn’t put “Chester drawers.” And that is a lovely piture.

    Mauve footstool – $20

    Mauve material, with brass button studs, wood legs. French preventional style.

    Those French Preventionists loved mauve. They weren’t afraid of color, like those French Prudentialists. The Prudentialists were all about being prim and proper and monochromatic — they were prudish with their colors, if you will. The Preventionists? They loved color. Mauve, puce, chartreuse, magenta, burnt umber — they used ’em all.

  • YSaC, Vol. 215: Who is Chester, and what is he doing in my lingerie?

    Variations on a theme:

    Antique Dresser and Chester Drawer – $500

    Moving must sell our antique dresser and chester drawer set. Purchased 20 years ago in an antique shop in very good condition.

    I’m not sure what the condition of the antique store has to do with it, but all right then. Surely this must be an isolated mistake, right?

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  • YSaC, Vol. 209: Shouldn’t we have prevented the Germans, instead?

    4 pcs french preventional dining room set – $275

    China cabinet and serving/buffet table in great condition
    table and 6 chairs.
    the table has a leaf, the chairs all need to be re-apolsterd.
    cash and carry xxx-xxx-xxxx

    That “thud” sound you hear is me banging my head on the desk. Repeatedly.

    As if French Prudential wasn’t bad enough, now we have French Preventional. What, exactly, are they preventing? Whatever it is, they’re French — it won’t work! It will be like the Maginot Line of furniture. The chairs will launch an aerial assault on the china cabinet and the buffet table will surrender immediately.

  • YSaC, Vol. 205: The finest, handcrafted Italian French furniture.

    An update! Qu’elle surprise … for some inexplicable reason, some French Prudential furniture that was listed earlier on Craigslist did not sell (mon Dieu!), so they’ve dropped the price and are trying again.

    french prudential corner china closet – $300

    1 corner china closet ,french prudential

    call any time #xxx-xxx-xxxx

    french prudential furniture set – $4000

    For $4000 or best offer you will be getting 4 piece sofa set ,3 piece table set,a small bar stand,two lamps,1 big mirrow . that’s a 11 piece set .all french prudential al italian made,it could be sold seperately or togethere

    call any time #xxx-xxx-xxxx

    It’s nice to see that some things don’t change, including a complete disregard for common rules of punctuation and spelling, n’est-ce pas? However, we now find out that French Prudential furniture is made by some Italian named Al.

    And I’m kind of liking the word “togethere”. It implies that everyone in a group is all in the same place, and is somewhere else … over there. They are togethere. It is, how the French say, le mot juste.