You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 244: Also available in … ew.

Written by

drmk

in

Free couch Cream

Must pick up TODAY.

Jennie sends this one, saying, “I can understand their urgency. Couch Cream expires so fast after you open it.”

Hmmm, I wonder why that made me think of this one, sent in by Allison?

Sofa cum bed – $225

We bought a comfortable futon from Ikea about six months back. It is a beige color sofa cum bed and is in very good condition, just like new.

Product Descriptions are given below –
Key features
Easy to keep clean with a removable,machine washable cover.
Choose from three different mattresses and a variety of covers to create a combination that suits you – covers are still available in Ikea.
Easily converts into a bed big enough for two.
Extra covers are available for variation and renewal.
Pliable mattress in high-resilient polyurethane foam and latex molds itself to the shape of your body; has extra long lifespan and is suitable for use every night.
Mattress filled with high resilient polyurethane foam with a top layer of latex; follows the contours of your body and helps keep your backbone straight.
Latex facilitates air circulation in the mattress and helps moisture to evaporate.

We are selling it for $225.00. The same is available in Ikea for $350.00 + taxes = $375.00.

If you are ineterested, please contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx. We can always reconsider the price.

Can you reconsider the use of the word ‘cum‘? Yes, it means “along with” or “in addition to”, but really? Really? Did you not stop to think that if you’re advertising something that could be used as a couch or a bed, that using the word cum might not be the best choice?

Because now I’m imagining … well, never mind what I’m imagining. But it’s sticky.

Comments

10 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 244: Also available in … ew.”

  1. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    ugh. Well, at least it’s “Easy to keep clean.”

  2. Carrie Avatar
    Carrie

    Come on now you guys, don’t you like a sofa cum bed and free couch cream?! Itls my dream come true!

  3. Jackie Avatar
    Jackie

    I’d be willing to bet the second ad came from a speaker of British English. The something-cum-something else construction is quite widely used in British English. It still looks wrong in print, though, especially without the dashes. Why not just call it a sofa bed?

    1. ratwoman Avatar
      ratwoman

      Well, yes, but Brits don’t call them ‘sofa cum beds’, with or without dashes. We do indeed call them ‘sofa beds’. Have done for years. Or ‘bed settees’ sometimes, depending on class. I’d like to think that the advertiser is just very pure-minded…

  4. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    I think i need the sofa cum-bed to accentuate my apartment. I’m already going to look into a website that i found that offers cum baths.

  5. HorribleLicensePlates Avatar
    HorribleLicensePlates

    I’ll have a tall dark roast extra couch cream

  6. Steph Avatar
    Steph

    The sofa cum bed ad mentions that latex facilitates air circulation. As long as is doesn’t facilitate cum from spilling from the condom which might facilitate the buying of a crib and stroller and highchair, all it well.

  7. Fraulein N Avatar
    Fraulein N

    Thank goodness for that “top layer of latex,” which “helps moisture to evaporate.” You’re gonna need it.

  8. Max Avatar
    Max

    well… i guess the couch one could have been better worded even though cum is the Latin word for “with”

  9. NotMyName Avatar
    NotMyName

    You just know the second ad’s…imaginative…wording wasn’t by accident. There were some pretty cumplicated* words in there, including polyurethane.

    *Yes, I know exactly what I said.

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