YSaC, Vol. 396: That would be a strange CSA share.
Giant inflatable banana
I am willing to trade my enormous yellow inflatable banana for something interesting and curious. This banana is as large as a child or small adult and weighs as much as a big balloon or many small balloons. There are two black handles at one end, which make like calm, friendly eyes for the banana if you are looking for a banana companion. There are two green, smaller inflatable compartments to either side of the main banana. You can think of these as leaves or even more imaginatively as young bananas yet to ripen. Interesting trades ONLY. This banana is priceless so I will accept no prices offered. Call (my number backwards is xxxx-xxx-xxx) or email.
Let’s see, what do I have lying around that I could trade for a giant inflatable banana? How about a stuffed raccoon? A dolphin/swan lamp/fountain? A cardboard cutout of Bea Arthur? A stuffed Spiderman?
Wait, I’ve got it!
highly suggestive carrot
This one of a kind, sexually charged vegetable can be yours today! What would I need an extremely phallic carrot for, you ask? Party favor, gag gift, collectible, whatever! Best offer gets this totally unique item. Email me with your best offer!
Who could resist the allure of a anthropomorphically sexualized root vegetable in trade for an inflatable tropical fruit? (I’m pretty sure that sentence has never been uttered before in the history of the English language.)
Thanks to Nicole for the inflatable banana, and to Steve for the pornographic carrot. (“The Pornographic Carrots” would be a great name for a band, wouldn’t it?)
Is it wrong to hate the carrot for having better thighs than I do?
Y’know, I once found a Cheeto that looked like a hand flipping you off. If I had known in sixth grade that ten years later, people could sell odd-shaped food online, I so would’ve saved it.
P.S.
This reminds me of peter peppers, the delightfully phallic spicy pepper.
Um…why would the banana person write the phone number backwards? Oh, I know: it’s a test. If you aren’t smart enough to figure out how to do it right, you aren’t smart enough to adopt the banana.
Probably so it doesn’t get picked up and sold to telemarketers.
Dear Person With Whom I Will Never Go Produce Shopping,
A carrot shaped like the lower half of a naked lady is not “phallic.” A carrot shaped like a CARROT is phallic.
All the best,
S
It’s got a very small penis. Although I agree the legs are very feminine. It could possibly be a hermaphroditic carrot. Now the price is double.
You might want to look closer at the apex of the legs….
Wait, so the carrot’s a drag queen?
I’m so confused.
And when that carrot starts to shrivel it will look like the lower half of a very old naked lady.
The carrot has a penis, if you look closely.
While growing up on a farm, we once dug up a potato that looked like a foot. It had five little potatoes attached to the end of it. To think we could’ve sold it on craigslist to some spud/foot fetishist. But we ate it, instead.
Does the pictured bike helmet come with it? If not, I’m not interested. No helmet, no banana.
YES!!! Exactly what I was thinking. What’s with the helmet anyways?
You wouldn’t want your banana companion to become injured, would you?
It took me a minute to figure out the helmet. It initially looked to me like a plastic ladybug humping the banana. *scratches head and scowls fretfully on the way to the corner*
I’m almost positive the banana is a beach/pool float.
It’s actually something you tow behind a boat – like an innertube – but more…. banana-ish
Great, so you’re supposed to ride the banana? This is getting more perverted all the time…
An open-ended request to trade for “something interesting and curious” on CL? This is a brave person. I SO MUCH want to see the offers s/he gets!
The OP is right, the handles *do* look like calm eyes. The banana could be my new, zen friend.
Unfortunately, I could never part with my life-sized Bea Arthur. I hope they’ll accept my lizard mummy instead.
Not to mention the blowup Spiderman that can double as your driving companion in the Car Pool lane…
That carrot’s legs go on FOREVER.
The carrot reminds me of the traditionally suggestively-posed ginger root, but hermaphroditic.
Huh.
Hee. That carrot reminds me of Ann-Margret. I’m pretty sure that’s not a penis; it looks more like … camel toe, maybe?
From the banana ad:
This banana is as large as a child or small adult…
Is that some sort of crypto-midget reference? Have the microphiliacs gotten wise to YSaC and are now using code to make their intentions known? There are some highly suggestive phrases in that ad.
banana companion
young bananas yet to ripen
“…weighs as much as a big balloon or many small balloons.”
^My favorite part.
hahaha at first, I really REALLY wanted the banana…I could trade my verdigris swan for it, or my chicken pillow or…but that is moot, anyway…because when I saw the carrot…whew! gotta have that carrot!
sexy carrot
I kind of just realized that I actually own a large beanbag made to look like a banana. Weird…
Giant banana
He inflates and is your friend
Priceless trade only
Slippery haiku there, LRC! Bravo!
How friendly he is!
The smile of the banana –
Implied yet not there.
From BananaCo!
New inflatable fruit with
calm and friendly eyes!
I was thinking The Sexually Charged Vegetables would be a good band name, but I suppose Sexually Charged Vegetable could be The Pornographic Carrots’ first album.