Here’s one that sits squarely in the “possibly awesome” category:
Clown for Kicks
I am looking for someone to dress up like a Clown and hang out with me. I would cook you diner – or we could BBQ something. I’m interested in making my neighbor lady wonder. I have already had a man in a panda costume last month – and also had a heard of sheep come in for the day to cut the grass. (sheep do a good job by the way). A clown would be something.
Maybe you could bring some balloons – or make balloon animals to hang in my tree. I’d like to have this done some evening between 6pm and dark. The longer you can stay the better (like if you could stay for the whole 3 hours). Do you have any tricks you could do?
Like I said – I could cook diner and get you drunk – I’d even be willing to pay your cab fare to and from. I don’t have much to offer – and my neighbor lady is driving me nuts – so I want to drive her nuts. If you had a Mime friend – it would be cool to see you two chase each other around the yard or do relay races while I time you.Let me know your thoughts – open to Men and Women Clowns.
I’ve had some annoying neighbors in my day, but nobody yet has warranted bringing in the heavy artillery of sheep and costume characters.
I once lived in a condo complex that had fairly strict regulations about holiday decorations; residents were only allowed to decorate two weeks before a holiday and one week after. To my amusement, nowhere in the condo bylaws did it say anything about those decorations having to be seasonally appropriate! My fantasy was to acquire a giant mechanical gopher, keep it on my porch year-round, and claim it was a holiday decoration for whatever random holiday was nearest.
The fatal flaw in that plan turned out to be the general unavailability of giant mechanical gophers. (That, and there are no random holidays in August.)
Thanks to Ashley and Alisa, who both sent this one in!
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