You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: punctuationally challenged

  • YSaC, Vol. 1775: Who’s a blurry dog? YOU’RE a blurry dog!

    wanted foam to keep sound out

    we cant use foam from couch. we can use any other foam sheets, rolls . I need 2in x37 in x 41in . its for a window. my dog is afraid of the rain

    If only there were some way to acquire products besides simply posting about your needs to Craigslist. Can you imagine the magical, fantasy world we would be living in if there were some kind of place you could go to get things? Actually, there’s so many different kinds of things, that in this hypothetical utopia, we might want to divide these thing-acquiring-places into categories. There’d be a home-thing-acquiring-place, a food-thing-acquiring-place, and maybe even a thing-acquiring-place devoted entirely to different types of popcorn!

    Wouldn’t that be amazing?

    But since we don’t have that, I suppose the next best thing would be if someone worked out some way to create some sort of internet-virtual-thing-acquiring-place. It would be like the real thing-acquiring-places, but you just wouldn’t be able to poke the things until they arrived at your home.

    We should probably think of a better name than “thing-acquiring-place,” as awesome as that would be in German.

    Maybe the dog could help.

    Thanks for the post, Lace!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1774: Howdy, Tex!

    Trade iPhone 4. 32g

    I have. iPhone 4 32 g color Black. Facture unlock I. Like to trade. For iPad. 2. Or. 3 Tex me.

    You Tex. Me Ostrimu. You like trade? Me like trade too!

    One question. What “Facture”?

    Thanks for post, sd!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1773: Technical Foul

    We’ve had plenty of posts from people looking to get something for nothing. It’s sort of a cliche that musicians get asked to play “for the exposure,” which as far as I can tell means that since they’re not getting paid, they’re likely to die of exposure.

    Here’s someone looking for a free photographer, although what they really seem to need is someone with a few extra periods and commas:

    Let’s create some art

    Hey everyone I’m Jimmy 21 year old male model for the past year I’ve been lucky enough to work with some amazing photographers allot of which I’ve met on CL so recently I’ve been slacking and I have not been producing new work so let’s fix that I have a few girl friends who have been asking me to shoot with them I’m looking for photographers who willing to shoot edgy provocative semi-nude work I’ve done full nude but I’m not too sure if the girls are willing to do nudes I’m sure some of them are all of these shoot would be individual maybe a group I have a few idea and we are also ready to help you execute any of your ideas this is a TF so no money would be made from these pictures let me know if you’re interested and I’ll send you pics of myself and of some of the girls thanks

    This is a TF. What is a TF, you ask? I have no idea. I tried looking it up, and here’s the first two dozen or so matches:

    • Transformers (toy)
    • Transformation
    • Track & Field
    • Transferrin
    • Transmission Fluid (automotive)
    • Transflash Memory Card (mobile device)
    • Tooth Fairy
    • Turbofan
    • Trotteur Francais (France)
    • True Friends
    • Trap Flag
    • Too Funny
    • Trigger Finger (stenosing tendovaginitis)
    • Tuition Fee
    • Two Fluid
    • Testicular Feminization (reproductive pathology)
    • Trace Flag
    • Transmission Factor (radiation exposure)
    • Transit Facility
    • Tranche Ferme (Marchés Publics)
    • Terminal File
    • Transient Fault
    • Terminal Forecast
    • Type of Funds (USACE)
    • Thomas-Fermi Approximation

    None of these make any sense, of course, but I really hope it’s not the Tooth Fairy. Thanks for the post, Mike!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1771: The Grand Cherokee of the Beast!

    1997 jeep – $666

    1997 jeep grand cherokee odometer: 200000 automatic transmission title : clean
    Jeep grand Cherokee 200,000 miles runs good .4×4..believe it may need a trans? Really Clean in side and out good tires remote start ….really looking to trade for something cool thanks….really want a project car or truck

    This one was sent in by sd, who points out that if the only picture you have of your vehicle is one where it’s strapped to a trailer AND you think it needs a transmission…

    You may not need to go to Craigslist to find a “project car.”

    Thanks, sd!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1769: Federal Burrow of Investigation

    Free burrow pick up only

    Free burrow all wood it’s in good condition nothing is broken as far as drawers or anything just needs cosmetic work just sanding, painted and new drawer handles. First person to respond gets it only serious people please respond.

    Hello. I am a very serious person. I would like to pick up your all wood burrow. However, I am confused. A “burrow” is a hole, is it not? It is difficult to pick up an absence of thing. For that matter, how do you know the hole is an absence of wood? It could be an absence of molybdenum, or cheddar cheese. This is important to me, because I am a serious person.

    Of course, you could have just misspelled “burro.” Are you selling a donkey? Because I don’t think I want to try sanding a donkey. That would be insufficiently serious.

    Thank you for this serious post, Christine!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1768: And the dog goes…

    Sometimes, the crazy on Craigslist inspires us to write long, detailed, lovingly crafted operas, movie scripts, or children’s books. And sometimes, it just inspires us to back away slowly, gibbering.

    new to taxidermy need big dog

    looking for a new taxidermy project looking for a large female dog will pay 40 the fresher the dog the better not looking for a living dogs need by Oct. 11 I can pick up sometime in the morning if you’re in [location]

    *gibbers*

    (Thanks, Ellen.)