You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 1771: The Grand Cherokee of the Beast!

Written by

dan

in

1997 jeep – $666

1997 jeep grand cherokee odometer: 200000 automatic transmission title : clean
Jeep grand Cherokee 200,000 miles runs good .4×4..believe it may need a trans? Really Clean in side and out good tires remote start ….really looking to trade for something cool thanks….really want a project car or truck

This one was sent in by sd, who points out that if the only picture you have of your vehicle is one where it’s strapped to a trailer AND you think it needs a transmission…

You may not need to go to Craigslist to find a “project car.”

Thanks, sd!

Comments

19 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 1771: The Grand Cherokee of the Beast!”

  1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
    MissMommyNiceNice

    I didn’t realize that the title of “clean” was taken already. Oh well, back to my filthy life.

    1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
      Dave and Ferret Tribe

      Story time: I once did a search on eBay for a certain model of antique car. Some of the sellers had the most amazing excuses for not being able to have the title (or even the “tittle”) on hand.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        That tidbit is rather tittilating.

        1. I Haz Bees' Eyes Avatar
          I Haz Bees’ Eyes

          That tittillated tidbit is thoroughly tessellating.

  2. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    Given how few read newspapers anymore, one wonders how it is that so many retain the ‘style’ where one pays for every character, even punctuation.

    But then, sparkiilogik reasserts itself with a posed rhetorical question. Were it not so early upon a Monday so dreadful, I’d wax bardic–
    Why, fair Ophelia, how to believe
    Can she need a trans?
    Or, tis but a play within a play
    A musing warrant’d by a flatbed nigh.
    Or, in sooth, the musings of a Knave?

  3. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    runs good

    You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

    1. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
      Demon Duck of Doom

      What… just point it downhill and put it in neutral, and it runs like the wind!

      Picky, picky.

  4. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    believe it may need a trans?

    Why? Do you think those of us people with alternate lifestyles are stupid enough to buy your crummy old jeep?

  5. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    really looking to trade for something cool thanks

    Like a Yugo?

  6. chattercat Avatar
    chattercat

    $666 ? so the devil is selling his busted jeep grand cherokee?

    can we assume that the vehicle has “been through hell and back”?

    1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
      MissMommyNiceNice

      Boom! All the doors!

    2. HamCan Avatar
      HamCan

      I need an old Porsche and a young Porsche…

      The power of Chrysler compels you!!!

    3. zero.nada.none. Avatar
      zero.nada.none.

      “believe it may need transmission”

      Oh yeah?…and what leads you to that conclusion? It won’t go?? You know what “assuming” does, right?

      and thanks, chattercat….that price bothered the hel….er, heck out of me. The transmission would be the least of my concerns.

    4. Ninja Chow Avatar
      Ninja Chow

      Right? The $666 was what I noticed first too. Maybe Sparky isn’t the devil, maybe he is trying to sell it to Satan? If so I think we should throw in Friday’s 40 year old, stained mattress as a bonus parting gift.

  7. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Capn! M2N2! Glad to see you here so early so we can get this over with. Punchity Punch Punch!

    I bet that hurt in side and out.

    Good Morning, Eugene!

  8. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    Sparky the Satanist needs to get his theology restored; I don’t believe Jeeps are capable of transubstantiation.

  9. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    *Rosins up my bow*


    The Devil went down to Craigslist. He was lookin’ for a car to tow.
    He was in a bind ’cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
    When he came across Sparky sittin’ on a trailer and sayin’ I’m hot.
    The Devil jumped up on his tow truck “Boy, let me tell you what.”

    “I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m an auto wrecker, too.
    And if you’d care to take a dare I’ll make a bet with you.
    Now you drive a pretty good trailer, boy, but give the Devil his due.
    I’ll bet a Jeep of gold against your soul ’cause I think I’m better than you.”

    The boy said, “My name’s Sparky, and it might be a sin,
    But I’ll take your bet; and you’re gonna regret ’cause I’m the best there’s ever been.”

    Sparky, gas up your truck and drive your trailer hard.
    ‘Cause Hell’s broke loose on Craigslist and the Devil deals it hard.
    And if you win you get this Jeep made of gold,
    But if you lose the devil gets your soul.

    The Devil opened up his tailgate and he said, “I’ll start this show.”
    And fire flew from his fingertips as he hitched up his tow.
    As he pulled the wreck across the streets it made an evil hiss.
    As a band of demons fixed the flat it sounded something like thissssss.

    When the Devil finished, Sparky said, “Well, you’re pretty good ol’ son,
    But sit down on that fender right there and let me show you how it’s done.”

    “Tire mounting.” Run, boys, run!
    The Devil’s in the air hose and the impact gun;
    Chevy has a flat tire, takin’ out the doughnut.
    Tranny does it go now? No, child, no.

    The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.
    And he laid that golden jeep on a trailer in Sparky’s fleet.
    Sparky said, “Devil, just come on back if you ever wunna try again,
    I done told you once—you son of a bitch—I’m the best that’s ever towed.”
    And he said:

    “Tire mounting.” Run, boys, run!
    The Devil’s in the air hose and the impact gun;
    Chevy has a flat tire, takin’ out the doughnut.
    Tranny does it go now? No, child, no.

    1. C"From Behind.....Suddenly"J Avatar
      C”From Behind…..Suddenly”J

      There aren’t enough doors, Hammy. 🙂

  10. Grumpy Grammy Avatar
    Grumpy Grammy

    Wait a minute…does he want $666 for it? Or does he want to trade it for a ‘project’? Both? He wants both??!! Sparky, Sparky, Sparky…get real.

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