Sometimes, the crazy on Craigslist inspires us to write long, detailed, lovingly crafted operas, movie scripts, or children’s books. And sometimes, it just inspires us to back away slowly, gibbering.
new to taxidermy need big dog
looking for a new taxidermy project looking for a large female dog will pay 40 the fresher the dog the better not looking for a living dogs need by Oct. 11 I can pick up sometime in the morning if you’re in [location]
*gibbers*
(Thanks, Ellen.)
Brain bleach required as I have image of Sparky trying to taxiderm ( stuff) a living dog. I lost it at “the fresher the better”
Coffee, alcohol, where are you when I need you?
Only female dogs? I suppose mastering the “Snots has a little Mississippi leg hound in him”, about to hump your leg pose with a male dog is a Level 2 Technique. Not for amateurs.
Need a dog for taxidermy,
Female, large, by end of week.
Need a fresh one, no so wormy,
Does this ad make you go “Eek”?
Ads for deceased canines come.
Deceased canines, this is one.
This reminds me, we haven’t seen TacoMagic here in a long time. Wonder what he’s doing these days. I bet he –squirrel!
Sometimes, life is a bitch.
And sometimes death is.
One supposes that finding stuffing of ruined dreams and bitter tears and dire recriminations is as difficult as polymerizing same into an expanded foam.
not looking for a living dogs
Well, you found them…*releases the hounds*
I’ve never been so happy that I’m a small dog.
How much is Sparky willing to pay?…Let’s see, the animal shelter opens in about 30 minutes, I can get the “deed” done in another 20 or 30 minutes, the sooner you can get to [location], the fresher the bitch will be……
Incidentally, dog people like to say “bitch” as many times in a conversation that they can.
Future serial killers of America.
Sweet clothespin jeebus! Why, why, why did ‘no living dogs’ even need to be said??
*whimpers*
Yeah, hope Nina Ninja Chow just gives us a miss today. 8/
I shouldn’t have looked, I had a nice day off away from the interwebs yesterday and thought I’d come take a look this morning, big mistake. Please tell Sparky I’m very much alive, I’m just going to go hide under the bed with my paws over my eyes now, see you all tomorrow.
*whimper*
Oh, that reminds me! Ninja Chow! Here’s your card. Once you have a brazillion punches, you win the intertubes. PunchityPunch Punch!
It won’t hurt so much the next time. What do you mean, you have heard that before?
Good Morning, Best in Show-offs!
Think of how offensive this ad could have been if he used other terminology. “40 for big dead bitch, don’t want any live bitches.”
It’s early.
I hope it doesn’t turn out like the infamous not.a.tiger
Sparky!!!…Where are you??… been waiting at [location] for two days now…bitch is getting a little ripe!
(by the way, it didn’t have a name, so I’m calling it “Windy”…not sure why, I just always liked that song)
Note: The moderators of this list would like to remind the commentariat that insults are the first step toward being banned. Just saying. — WR
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