You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: maybe it’s just me

  • YSaC, Vol. 433: What this table needs is a badger with spray paint.

    Table Dinner – $250

    Its in good shap.
    the coloer is blech.
    and it has 4 chars.
    And price is 250 or less make me an offer.

    437

    The poster is absolutely, positively correct in the assertion that the color of this table dinner is blech.

    My problem is that I have no idea where on the RGB spectrum blech falls. I don’t remember a crayon with that name; all I remember are things like red-orange and orange-red and burnt sienna and raw umber. Blech is most definitely not an officially-sanctioned Crayola color.

    It appears to fall somewhere in the spectacularly, hideously neutral range — you know, in the range of colors that are so inoffensive that they’ve swung all the way around the spectrum and are back to offensive?

    But the price is $250 or less. Oooh, wait, I know this game from The Price is Right! I’m going to have to go out on a limb here and guess “less.” Do I win? Do I win the table dinner and char set?

    Thanks, Kelly!

  • YSaC, Vol. 431: Serious cat does not LOL.

    Animal Print – $45

    Large Animal print collection from Home Interior
    obo

    Only serious people respond – I am not looking to buy, sell, or engage in other activities on this website – so please do not bother me with other offers! I am a very serious person!

    433

    I am Serious Lion. This is serious post. Serious, I say! Serious Lion is not interested in your solicitations to view your webcam or refinance my mortgage. Serious Lion will not send money to Nigeria via Western Union. Serious Lion is only interested in sitting here, and being serious. And a lion. Because I am Serious Lion.

    (Before anyone yells at me, follow the “lion” link. I know it’s not a lion.)

    Thanks, Lesley!

  • YSaC, Vol. 427: Title of the Post.

    We here at YSaC put a lot of thought into the titles of our posts. It pleases us greatly when someone gets the (occasionally obscure, usually stupid) reference we are making. Hell, it just pleases us if someone notices there is a title at all!

    Anyway, sometimes we get submissions where people haven’t put quite as much thought into the title of their ad as we do. For example:

    Free Baby and Various items

    “Yes, the baby is still available, as are the various items. I’m sorry, what? What are the various items? Oh, there’s lots of stuff … there’s a combine harvester, a cassette tape of Seals & Crofts, a turnip twaddler, and four garbage bags full of ping-pong balls. You’ll take all of it and the baby? Great!”

    i box of misselounous – $20

    There was a big Greek community where I grew up. It’s nice of Mr. Box O. Misselounous to introduce himself to everyone on Craigslist. I think he might have been my algebra teacher.

    AVENT ISIS ON THE GO MANUAL BEAST PUMP KIT-PAID $50–USED EXACTLY ONCE

    It was used exactly once, but it was used to pump a herd of wildebeest across a crocodile-infested river. (You may have seen the footage on the When Animals Eat Each Other channel.)

    THE BEST VENUE FOR THE BEST RAPERS

    We should put our up incoming female raper in touch with this venue. I mean, if you’re going to do something, at least be the best at it, right?

    Thanks to Kriss, Ashley, totallyfakeaddress@email.com (hey, if that’s what you send me, that’s what I’m going to post!), and Jocelyn for the submissions!

  • YSaC, Vol. 421: The geezer period was after the French Prudential period.

    nice home decor

    [1]very nice wall hanging $5.00
    [2]bird house center piece $10.00
    [3]very nice swag $6.00
    all are homemade

    Say, that is a very nice wall hanging. Is that cross-stitch or latchhook? Can I get the pattern for that at JoAnn Fabrics? I think my grandmother would like that on a pillow. It’s so hard these days to find good embroidery work of geezers making obscene gestures. I mean, back in the 20s it was all the rage to decorate your house in early grandpa-grabbing-his-junk! It was everywhere — wall hangings, tea cozies, antimacassars, you name it. For some reason that style just didn’t keep as well as we thought it would. They say if you wait long enough everything will come back into fashion, though, and this is proof!

    Thanks to Mo for sending this one in!

  • YSaC, Vol. 418: Stain, stain, stain …. stain of fools …

    oversized chair (middlefield)

    This item is free, oversized comfy chair…would be great with a cover, and it’s free!
    415a

    I like how they’re really highlighting the “free” part. Unfortunately, free rhymes with the word I can’t help but thinking of when I look at this chair. That unfortunate linguistic coincidence disinclines me towards taking this chair, regardless of how “great” it would be with a cover. Unless that cover is made of antibacterial latex and is two feet thick, I think I’ll pass, thanks.

    Although, on second thought, it doesn’t look too bad compared to these …
    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 416: Whatever you do, don’t cross the … drawers.

    5 Drawer Dresser – $30

    5 Drawer Dresser. In good Condition. We are moving soon and need to sell it. Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx if interested.

    416

    The ordinary reader would look at this and think, “They obviously made a typo and meant to say a four drawer dresser. Twice.” But we, we are not the ordinary reader, are we? We recognize that this dresser is obviously owned by someone who is not constrained by simple physical principles; someone who is capable of postulating spaces and dimensions — and drawers! — that don’t exist. That’s right, as improbable as it may seem, this dresser is owned by, and most likely intended for, a string theorist.

    So what do we put in our imaginary drawer? (The Imaginary Drawers would be a great name for a band, wouldn’t it?) Oooh, we could put our stuff in the imaginary drawer! But if we put real stuff in the imaginary drawer, that might cause a total protonic reversal. Or something.

    Let’s see if anyone else has any ideas about what we can keep in magical dressers.

    Dresser

    Looking for a decent dresser if anyone wants to get rid of one…could use one for my son and my clothes. Please email. Thank you.

    This person could use four drawers for her clothes, and the extra magical fifth drawer to keep her son in. It’s like something straight out a Seinfeld episode. It’s perfect!

    Thanks to Christine and Eric for the posts!