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YSaC, Vol. CXCIV

Written by

drmk

in

“ELVIS” COW ROAD SIGN – $119

Straight from the back roads of Vermont. 30″ sq.
Great novelty item for garage or basement!

Pick up only.

If interested please email.

194

Is this like one of those 3-D things where you have to stand the right distance away and cross your eyes before you see the hidden image of Elvis? And is it the thin, pre-war Elvis or the old, bloated Elvis? That makes a big difference.

Man, I can never get those things right. All I see is a cow.

Edited to add: Oh wait, I get it now!

cowelvis

Thanks, Candace — that made it perfectly clear!

Comments

38 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CXCIV”

  1. jeff Avatar
    jeff

    You’ve never heard of Elvis the Cow? She is famous for walking the back roads of Vermont. Many a weary traveler has been revived by the milk provided by Elvis. The Alps have their St. Bernard’s, Vermont has Elvis.

  2. Are you ok? Avatar
    Are you ok?

    The sign is of an Elvis impersonator cow. Like most Elvis impersonators, it bears no resemblance to the actual Elvis.

  3. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    It gives “Love Me Tender” a whole new backstory.

  4. spamhead Avatar
    spamhead

    All I see is a bull with an udder. And I’m very very confused.

  5. spamhead Avatar
    spamhead

    Unless comment #2 is correct and those aren’t horns, just a big pompadour.

    1. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      [bovine corey (from future)]
      Both sexes of “cows” generally have horns.

      Female bovines destined for dairy farms have the horns removed (or cut short) to make it simpler/safer for the handling and feeding of the stock inside barns or in the milking parlour.

      Male bovines bound for the butcher (beaves) generally are grass/pasture fed, and have less need for horn amputation. As most of that stock is also castrated, they generally have less aggression, so the horns are less of an issue in that way, too.

      “Cows” is the common collective for all bovines.
      “Heifers” are female bovines, typically breed stock in the beef industry.
      “Steer” is a castrated bull raised for beef production.
      “Beave” is the collective for bovines for meat production. Often used to refer to ‘wild’–non-castrated–stock.
      “Oxen” are bovine stock used as dray–driving–stock.
      “Dogie” (alt “Doagie”; pr, “dough GEE” or “dhaw GEE”) are all calves after weaning.

      Now, to go wandering after the rambling tumbleweed, yi’yi’yi’yay. . .
      [/corey]

      1. One Moving Violation Avatar
        One Moving Violation

        That’s yippy aye ay cow pattie.

      2. Emor Avatar
        Emor

        “Heifers” are female cows who have not yet given birth to offspring. After their first calf is born, they’re just “cows”.
        “Dogie” is a regionalism; other terms for this phase of a domestic bovine’s life include “stirk”.

  6. candace Avatar
    candace

    Either the cow is ‘horny’, or it’s really Elvis in disguise:

    http://s93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/cancanwoo/comment%20slogans/?action=view&current=1943.jpg

  7. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    I thought the cow’s name was El*SIE* – or is that the cow that knocked over Old Lady Leary’s Lantern? Either way it’ll be a hot time in the old town tonight… the old, remote, Vermontian town.

  8. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    …And this is $119 because?

  9. Kristen Avatar
    Kristen

    Doesn’t this mean that someone in rural VT is speeding down a backroad not knowing he’s about to run into a cow? Generally road signs aren’t just free for the taking to sell on CL.

    1. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      [corey]
      In most states it’s illegal to trade in “official” signs, if only for trading in “ill gotten goods” in that such signs are seldom removed with the permission of the “owners.”

      Also, such signs often are placed if there are more than some number (three in many states) of animal collisions at the same location in one calendar year.

      This is also why one might see a “deer crossing” sign in only one direction, too–one side of the road might have better visibility of cerf traversing the Right of Way.
      [/dot corey]

  10. Tir Avatar
    Tir

    Shouldn’t this be filed under “Receipt of Stolen Goods”? For $119 I think that’s just a misdemeanor…

  11. Kris Avatar
    Kris

    Yeah, how does this animal have both horns and an udder? I’ve been to Vermont and have never seen these together. At least it’s not $120, that would be way too expensive for something like this.

  12. jeff Avatar
    jeff

    Some cows have horns

  13. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    Jeff is right… Some, actually, a lot, of cows have horns. They’re not as big as bulls’ horns.

    Think it’s possible that this is really a novelty sign and not a real road sign?

  14. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    I think we’re missing the point here. What does a cow, with or without horns and/or udders, HAVE TO DO WITH ELVIS? I mean, before Candace made it into a fabulous spangly fat old Cow Elvis, that is.

  15. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    @drmk:

    I think #5 might have it right. Maybe the poster looked at the cow and said, “It has a pompadour, like Elvis! That’s awesome! I can sell it on Craigslist!”

  16. selvig Avatar
    selvig

    I think comment #10 is right.

    Road signs are not for the taking.

  17. Vladimir Avatar
    Vladimir

    “Elvis” is the yellow negative space between the cow’s legs. It looks like The King’s profile (looking up), incl. pompadour.

    1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
      Dave and Ferret Tribe

      I see Abraham Lincoln. Or maybe a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

    2. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      I think it looks like standard pattern #8 of the rorchach series to test excessive compulsiveness.

      *everybody glares at OMV*

      Ok, it’s a cow.

  18. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    Elvis Cow Road Sign is my chain of country-western-themed eateries in strip malls.

  19. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    I don’t need a “cow” sign for my basement, but I could use a “tsunami evacuation route” sign for my bathroom…

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      TSUNAMI, TSUNAMI??!
      Hey professor? What’s a tsunami?

      1. HamCan Avatar
        HamCan

        I think it was a Johnny Cash song…”A boy named Tsunami.”

  20. SisterLyle Avatar
    SisterLyle

    *takes a deep breath*

    You ain’t nothing but a herd cow!
    Moo’in’ all the time!
    You ain’t nothing but a bovine!
    Chewin’ all the time!
    I ain’t ever gonna milk you,
    your dairy ain’t no drink of mine!

    They said you was an Angus
    But that was just a lie.
    They said you was a Grade A
    But that was just a lie.
    I ain’t never gonna grill you,
    and you ain’t no meal of mine!

    Thank you… thank you very much…

  21. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    *consults menu* I’ll have the “Hunk a-hunk o’ Burning Cow.”

  22. TacoMagic Avatar
    TacoMagic

    This cow doesn’t strike me as having that much of a resemblance to Elvis Costello at all…

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      What about Elvis Cowstello?

      That may have to be my Halloween costume this year.

      1. HamCan Avatar
        HamCan

        Moos on first?

        1. Tasty Steaks Avatar
          Tasty Steaks

          Cud you repeat the question?

  23. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    Hmm, [logic gears grinding]

    Paul Bunyon’s Ox was named “Blue”*

    Oxen are “cows” (in the general sense).

    Suede is a form of tanned cowhide.

    Blue’s suede could have been made into shoes**.

    Carl Perkins sold a song about shoes.

    Ergo:

    Elvis, QED.
    [/i gots lawgik corey]

    ___________________________________
    *Which probably meant that the Ox in question was a recessive Roan color, there being an old habit of nicknaming things to the opposite of what they are. If one re-reads PB stories and visualizes the ox as a “ginger” the tales make much more sense (especially the biting).

    **The color of the bovine has almost nothing to do with the final color of the tanned leather, which is almost always the result of dying.

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      Yes, well it would be torturous to tan them while they’re still alive.
      We reserve that for children.

    2. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      I hate to correct you, Capn, but the ox’s name was Babe. He was, in fact, blue. 20 points from Gryffindor!

  24. penguin Avatar
    penguin

    Needs more cowbell.

  25. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    So, valarie and P-Rex, hope the barbecue was to your tastes! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Jersey!

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